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12/25/2011
Info About My New Blog
Things have been going well over at In The Arms of Mother Earth. I created a new button for the blog today. I would love if you guys would grab it and put it up on your blogs! And guess what! I've got the button exchange working (well sort of... I can't seem to make the scrolling html work) so that means I've not lost any of your buttons either! I'll be stopping by everyone's blogs soon so I can leave the link to my new blog with you guys. I really hope to see all you guys in the new place! Oh and I really hope everyone had a blessed Yule! Brightest blessings to you all!
Oh my lovely readers... How I'm going to miss you so! I love this blog so much, but lately it's been feeling like I'm having to force myself to even think about writing here. I feel like so much has happened since the creation of this blog, and when I look over the things I normally write here, I realize I'm a very different person now. So, here's the deal ... one last confession before I leave, I am moving to a different blog, starting fresh and new. I would be so happy if you would come with me! I will be leaving this blog up, because I feel like, in the past, I wrote some pretty good things. Check out some of my personally written meditations, and you'll see why I say that :D, plus I love this blog too much to just delete it forever. I would love to have it to come back to every now and then, maybe not to write, but at least to look over the past.
You may have noticed that there is no title to this post. I have no idea what to put as the title. However, I know I do not mean that as a good bye. I will be heart broken if my dear friends do not follow me to my new blog! Of course, I understand that as things change, and new things begin, sometimes others aren't on the same page, and that is totally fine. I will not be mad if I am no longer your cup of tea, nor will my feelings be hurt. I am hoping you guys don't get mad at me for this sudden announcement. So, without further adieu, let me introduce you to the new blog! In The Arms of Mother Earth will be my new bloggy home! I really hope to see you guys there! The door is open, and a tea and coffee pot are waiting just for you, with comfy chairs sat by the lovely fireplace!
You may have noticed that there is no title to this post. I have no idea what to put as the title. However, I know I do not mean that as a good bye. I will be heart broken if my dear friends do not follow me to my new blog! Of course, I understand that as things change, and new things begin, sometimes others aren't on the same page, and that is totally fine. I will not be mad if I am no longer your cup of tea, nor will my feelings be hurt. I am hoping you guys don't get mad at me for this sudden announcement. So, without further adieu, let me introduce you to the new blog! In The Arms of Mother Earth will be my new bloggy home! I really hope to see you guys there! The door is open, and a tea and coffee pot are waiting just for you, with comfy chairs sat by the lovely fireplace!
11/20/2011
On Beauty & Makeup
Well, today I'm feeling a bit better from my bronchitis, and I decided I would work on laundry, and put a little makeup on to see if that would help me feel better (because oddly it does sometimes). So I put on clean clothes, gather up all of my dirty stuff, which meant going out to my little brother's car shop to get stuff that has been packed up since my move, and I bring everything back inside the house to start a load ... Sounds easy right? Nope, with bronchitis. I've lost my strength and lugging that stuff from the shop to the house which is only a few feet away was like carrying a baby elephant! Then I start my first load of laundry, sit down for a bit to catch my breath, and then remember I wanted to put on makeup.
The last time I saw my makeup it was in the front seat of my truck while I was finishing up those last couple of days at school. I go out to my truck, rearrange things so I can see the spot the makeup had been the last time I saw it and ... NOTHING! My big box o makeup was gone. I'm saddened by this fact because while I don't wear makeup on a daily basis, and don't believe that I absolutely have to have makeup on to leave the house, I enjoyed the fact that if I wanted to put on makeup I could. I also had well over $2,000 worth of makeup packed in one caboodles box. If a certain makeup style struck my fancy, I had the makeup to do it.
Sadly, some of the products cannot be replaced. One of my favorite eyeshadow colors was called Confident and I bought it from etsy at a shop called I Touch Roses. The owner of the shop has Morgelloan's Disease and has been sick. She's not available for me to reorder. I'm not complaining about that. I hope that she gets to feeling better and is able to do the things she wants to do. However, it does suck having to find new makeup, and new makeup creators? Is that what you call them? I've found one shop with some really cool colors out of Canada called Crush Cosmetics. They seem to be fairly new, but their colors are so fun and awesome.
I love doing all kinds of makeup trends, my absolute favorite being my version of a fallen angel which is eyes rimmed in black including water lines, black in the corners like you would do for a smokey eye, and pink on the inside (where you would put grey or white for the smokey). While black is easy to come by (and I still have 1 black eyeliner because for some odd reason I decided to buy a black eyeliner the other night), the pink that I loved to use for that look was another I Touch Roses product. I also like to do soft, natural looks, and bright in your face looks, classic looks like brown eyeliner with bright red lipstick.
Anyway, the reason I am babbling on and on about this is because I need your help my friends. No I am not asking you to help me replace my makeup. I am asking you, my dear beautiful readers, to tell me who your favorite makeup providers are. Are they on etsy? Share the link. Are they a more professional brand like MAC? I love MAC! Tell me about your favorite colors through them. Help me find a provider that I will love my friends!
The last time I saw my makeup it was in the front seat of my truck while I was finishing up those last couple of days at school. I go out to my truck, rearrange things so I can see the spot the makeup had been the last time I saw it and ... NOTHING! My big box o makeup was gone. I'm saddened by this fact because while I don't wear makeup on a daily basis, and don't believe that I absolutely have to have makeup on to leave the house, I enjoyed the fact that if I wanted to put on makeup I could. I also had well over $2,000 worth of makeup packed in one caboodles box. If a certain makeup style struck my fancy, I had the makeup to do it.
Sadly, some of the products cannot be replaced. One of my favorite eyeshadow colors was called Confident and I bought it from etsy at a shop called I Touch Roses. The owner of the shop has Morgelloan's Disease and has been sick. She's not available for me to reorder. I'm not complaining about that. I hope that she gets to feeling better and is able to do the things she wants to do. However, it does suck having to find new makeup, and new makeup creators? Is that what you call them? I've found one shop with some really cool colors out of Canada called Crush Cosmetics. They seem to be fairly new, but their colors are so fun and awesome.
I love doing all kinds of makeup trends, my absolute favorite being my version of a fallen angel which is eyes rimmed in black including water lines, black in the corners like you would do for a smokey eye, and pink on the inside (where you would put grey or white for the smokey). While black is easy to come by (and I still have 1 black eyeliner because for some odd reason I decided to buy a black eyeliner the other night), the pink that I loved to use for that look was another I Touch Roses product. I also like to do soft, natural looks, and bright in your face looks, classic looks like brown eyeliner with bright red lipstick.
Anyway, the reason I am babbling on and on about this is because I need your help my friends. No I am not asking you to help me replace my makeup. I am asking you, my dear beautiful readers, to tell me who your favorite makeup providers are. Are they on etsy? Share the link. Are they a more professional brand like MAC? I love MAC! Tell me about your favorite colors through them. Help me find a provider that I will love my friends!
11/11/2011
Re-Connecting With Nature In Winter
As many of you know, I have made a vow to myself to get closer with my gods, and deeper in my own beliefs. While it's still not winter weather here in my area of Texas (minus the 24 hour snow we had in Amarillo just before I finished my hours at school), it is getting more chilly. I'm a chicken when it comes to a cool breeze unless it shows up out of the blue on a hot summer day to cool me off, otherwise I run for the nearest heat source. When I was younger I wasn't that way. I used to walk around in the snow with no shoes on and I apparently had no idea what a jacket was. However, since I went down to the university in the dessert I have not been able to handle the normal cold we have here. I've lost my cold hardiness. So, you now ask, "Willow, how do you reconnect with your own beliefs, which revolve so deeply in nature, if you are not outside that much in your current weather?" This is how:
1. The weather warms up to a tolerable 65 in the afternoons. I will go out Mom's back door with the dogs and sit for a little while feeling the vibrations of nature, watching the dogs play, and watching nature in general.
2. I do a lot of meditation. As you might imagine, staring at Mom's backyard gets old after a while. I'll try switching to the front yard, but in all honesty it's not much different. I love connecting with the vibrations of home and things I'm familiar with, however, how do you learn if that's all you have to connect with? So I meditate and create new situations for myself to try to learn from. Usually I'll just imagine a different form of nature that I haven't been to before, but have seen on TV or something like that, and I'll let the meditation take me where it wants. I'll share some meditations with you on that later.
3. Last and definitely not least, there's energy work. What I call energy work is actually spell work. Spells are just accessing the energies around you and transforming them slightly to create changes. So it seems more right to me to call it energy work. You can call it whatever you want, but because we are accessing the energies around us, we create a direct link with whatever those energies are coming from, in my case its the natural world around me. So because energy work creates a direct link to nature for me, that's another way of me connecting with nature.
Things have been off with me for a while. I used to hold a balance of my own energy, plus a free flow of energy from the natural land around me. When I moved to Amarillo, I shut that connection down inadvertently, now I have to work twice as hard to get that balance back. Just to let you know, closing down that connection sucks. Not only do you personally feel off balance, everything else in your life loses its balance as well. Things don't feel right. It's sort of like when you have strep throat and everything tastes wrong. So, how do you connect with nature during the winter? Do you connect with nature at all? Tell me about you guys! You know I love to hear about you!
Also, I've got some wonderful responses from the poll. Right now it's tied between change it now, and wait til a little later. I've also had a comment from a lovely beautiful reader who said they are uncomfortable with change. I understand where you are coming from there darling, however, I personally feel that things get stagnant if there aren't some changes here and there. I try to leave my blog alone for long spurts, then change it when I feel things are getting stagnant. While the look of things change here, I try to make sure that the essence of the blog stays the same. I am still here to discuss my religion with you, I am still here to tell you what's going on in my life, and I'd love to hear about yours. I still want this blog to be an interactive place. Please know that even though the look of the blog changes, I still love all of you.
1. The weather warms up to a tolerable 65 in the afternoons. I will go out Mom's back door with the dogs and sit for a little while feeling the vibrations of nature, watching the dogs play, and watching nature in general.
2. I do a lot of meditation. As you might imagine, staring at Mom's backyard gets old after a while. I'll try switching to the front yard, but in all honesty it's not much different. I love connecting with the vibrations of home and things I'm familiar with, however, how do you learn if that's all you have to connect with? So I meditate and create new situations for myself to try to learn from. Usually I'll just imagine a different form of nature that I haven't been to before, but have seen on TV or something like that, and I'll let the meditation take me where it wants. I'll share some meditations with you on that later.
3. Last and definitely not least, there's energy work. What I call energy work is actually spell work. Spells are just accessing the energies around you and transforming them slightly to create changes. So it seems more right to me to call it energy work. You can call it whatever you want, but because we are accessing the energies around us, we create a direct link with whatever those energies are coming from, in my case its the natural world around me. So because energy work creates a direct link to nature for me, that's another way of me connecting with nature.
Things have been off with me for a while. I used to hold a balance of my own energy, plus a free flow of energy from the natural land around me. When I moved to Amarillo, I shut that connection down inadvertently, now I have to work twice as hard to get that balance back. Just to let you know, closing down that connection sucks. Not only do you personally feel off balance, everything else in your life loses its balance as well. Things don't feel right. It's sort of like when you have strep throat and everything tastes wrong. So, how do you connect with nature during the winter? Do you connect with nature at all? Tell me about you guys! You know I love to hear about you!
Also, I've got some wonderful responses from the poll. Right now it's tied between change it now, and wait til a little later. I've also had a comment from a lovely beautiful reader who said they are uncomfortable with change. I understand where you are coming from there darling, however, I personally feel that things get stagnant if there aren't some changes here and there. I try to leave my blog alone for long spurts, then change it when I feel things are getting stagnant. While the look of things change here, I try to make sure that the essence of the blog stays the same. I am still here to discuss my religion with you, I am still here to tell you what's going on in my life, and I'd love to hear about yours. I still want this blog to be an interactive place. Please know that even though the look of the blog changes, I still love all of you.
11/08/2011
New Poll On The Sidebar
I have a new poll, because I want to know this ... do you think I should dress the blog up for Yule already, wait, or don't change it at all, or change it completely but not Yule related? I kind of like the background as it is, but I feel like I should at least change the banner if I'm going to leave this background. I'm sure eventually I will change it for Yule, especially since I'm party of a Yule blog party, but I want to leave that up to yall ... This blog used to be an interactive place, and I miss that. Tell me your opinions, even if they oppose mine, I like to hear from you guys!
11/07/2011
Well, Hello There!
It's been a week since I've posted and I do believe it's time to post again. I have completed the 600 hours I needed to be done with school, I will be taking my written test on Thursday at 1:30, and after that I can schedule my practical. After I've completed my practical I send in for my license, then I wait a little while and I can start working. My house is on the lots I bought here in Whiteface, I'm waiting for the electrician and plumber to come out and plumb everything and hook up all the electrical stuff.
As a graduation present to myself, I spent $130 on books! A few are Pagan related, and the other 2 are about herb gardening, one being Herb Gardening For Dummies! Yes, I am a dummy when it comes to gardening. I absolutely love flowers and plants, but they all die, and I'm hoping a dummy book will help me not kill them. One of the Pagan books I've already read, and I really enjoyed it. It is Buckland's Book of Gypsy Magic. I liked it because the morals and beliefs he talks about the Gypsies believing in, I grew up with! Of course, a while back I found out that my family and I come from Gypsy blood. We are Black Dutch. I'd known we were Black Dutch all my life, I just didn't know what it was, and apparently neither did anyone in our family. About a year ago, I did a little bit of internet, nerdy research, and found out that the Black Dutch were a Gypsy tribe residing in France. Many of the Gypsy beliefs described in that book were inadvertently taught to us by Gram and Granddad. I'm proud to come from such a rich heritage, and I would love to learn even more about it than a small book can tell. I was a little disappointed that the book focused mainly on spells, and only touched on a few of the beliefs when it is supposed to discuss both, but what I did learn I loved. I absorbed it like a sponge to water.
I'm now working on my Herb Gardening For Dummies book, and A Witch's 10 Commandments which I'm enjoying more than I thought I would. I picked that book up on a whim and decided why not try it out. I didn't think I would like it that much, but I'm enjoying it. I'll share more about it later. There's another book called Earth Power by Scott Cunningham that I haven't started yet, and I replaced my Way of the Green Witch, because I sorely missed it. I'm so thankful to have the time to finally start reconnecting with the gods the way I want to. I've also met a guy that I'm talking to a little bit. I don't know if things will turn romantic with him. He currently lives 75 miles away, and I know I won't be relocating for quite a while. However, he was one of the first that I was 100% honest with about my religion, and surprise of all surprises, he didn't instantly stop talking to me. We'll see where things go with him. Who knows. I'm just glad to have time to better myself and enjoy life without having to worry about whether or not I'm missing school. Tomorrow I think I'll have some deeper things to talk about, but for now, I'm going to leave it at this. Love, light and brightest blessings my beautiful darlings!
As a graduation present to myself, I spent $130 on books! A few are Pagan related, and the other 2 are about herb gardening, one being Herb Gardening For Dummies! Yes, I am a dummy when it comes to gardening. I absolutely love flowers and plants, but they all die, and I'm hoping a dummy book will help me not kill them. One of the Pagan books I've already read, and I really enjoyed it. It is Buckland's Book of Gypsy Magic. I liked it because the morals and beliefs he talks about the Gypsies believing in, I grew up with! Of course, a while back I found out that my family and I come from Gypsy blood. We are Black Dutch. I'd known we were Black Dutch all my life, I just didn't know what it was, and apparently neither did anyone in our family. About a year ago, I did a little bit of internet, nerdy research, and found out that the Black Dutch were a Gypsy tribe residing in France. Many of the Gypsy beliefs described in that book were inadvertently taught to us by Gram and Granddad. I'm proud to come from such a rich heritage, and I would love to learn even more about it than a small book can tell. I was a little disappointed that the book focused mainly on spells, and only touched on a few of the beliefs when it is supposed to discuss both, but what I did learn I loved. I absorbed it like a sponge to water.
I'm now working on my Herb Gardening For Dummies book, and A Witch's 10 Commandments which I'm enjoying more than I thought I would. I picked that book up on a whim and decided why not try it out. I didn't think I would like it that much, but I'm enjoying it. I'll share more about it later. There's another book called Earth Power by Scott Cunningham that I haven't started yet, and I replaced my Way of the Green Witch, because I sorely missed it. I'm so thankful to have the time to finally start reconnecting with the gods the way I want to. I've also met a guy that I'm talking to a little bit. I don't know if things will turn romantic with him. He currently lives 75 miles away, and I know I won't be relocating for quite a while. However, he was one of the first that I was 100% honest with about my religion, and surprise of all surprises, he didn't instantly stop talking to me. We'll see where things go with him. Who knows. I'm just glad to have time to better myself and enjoy life without having to worry about whether or not I'm missing school. Tomorrow I think I'll have some deeper things to talk about, but for now, I'm going to leave it at this. Love, light and brightest blessings my beautiful darlings!
10/30/2011
A Witches' Tea Party
Hello partiers! I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to figure out what I wanted to contribute to the party. I sat down today and started watching TV. ABCFamily is doing their 13 days of Halloween, and tonight they are playing Practical Magic. I haven't watched that movie since last year at this time of year, even though I own it. I've been questioning a lot of things this year, and watching that movie (as funny as it may sound), made a lot of things click for me. So, my contribution tonight is my rededication to my path.
When we dedicate ourselves to our path, we make a promise to whatever deity it is we worship, to stay on the path we are on, to continue learning, and to keep faith. After the rough times that have happened, and the mental turmoil I've dealt with, this seems like the perfect time to rededicate myself. So, to share this with you, I'll include the prayer I will say to rededicate myself, and my simple ritual.
I light a candle, and sit in an area that is private where I know I won't be disturbed. Then I stare at the flame until I reach a meditative state and ground and center myself. This is so I can fully feel the energies of the earth flowing through me. I will stay in this state for a while, until I feel totally and completely relaxed and open. Then, while I'm in my meditative state, I will welcome the God and Goddess. This is the time for me to discuss intimate things with them. I'll tell them my hopes and dreams, worries and fears, and just let everything go, so my mind can start as a clean slate. Then I will say this prayer:
God and Goddess, hear me, your daughter Willow.
This has been a long year, and I have strayed from my path a few times.
On this Samhain eve, the time for endings and new beginnings,
I rededicate myself to you and to my chosen path.
Bless me and hold me close, be with me as I walk the winding path of the craft.
So mote it be.
After the prayer, I will come out of my meditative state and drink something sweet and eat something salty to help bring me back to earth. The feeling a person gets after a dedication ceremony is the most wonderful you can ever feel. No matter what religion you are, if you truly believe in what you are doing it will lift every worry, erase every stress, and make you feel whole and new again. Thanks for stopping by for the party! For more party fun click here or here to go back to the list of partiers!
When we dedicate ourselves to our path, we make a promise to whatever deity it is we worship, to stay on the path we are on, to continue learning, and to keep faith. After the rough times that have happened, and the mental turmoil I've dealt with, this seems like the perfect time to rededicate myself. So, to share this with you, I'll include the prayer I will say to rededicate myself, and my simple ritual.
I light a candle, and sit in an area that is private where I know I won't be disturbed. Then I stare at the flame until I reach a meditative state and ground and center myself. This is so I can fully feel the energies of the earth flowing through me. I will stay in this state for a while, until I feel totally and completely relaxed and open. Then, while I'm in my meditative state, I will welcome the God and Goddess. This is the time for me to discuss intimate things with them. I'll tell them my hopes and dreams, worries and fears, and just let everything go, so my mind can start as a clean slate. Then I will say this prayer:
God and Goddess, hear me, your daughter Willow.
This has been a long year, and I have strayed from my path a few times.
On this Samhain eve, the time for endings and new beginnings,
I rededicate myself to you and to my chosen path.
Bless me and hold me close, be with me as I walk the winding path of the craft.
So mote it be.
After the prayer, I will come out of my meditative state and drink something sweet and eat something salty to help bring me back to earth. The feeling a person gets after a dedication ceremony is the most wonderful you can ever feel. No matter what religion you are, if you truly believe in what you are doing it will lift every worry, erase every stress, and make you feel whole and new again. Thanks for stopping by for the party! For more party fun click here or here to go back to the list of partiers!
10/28/2011
I've Got News!
I found a new witchy friend! I've actually gone to school with her for a while, and we've been talking and hanging out for a while. I just found out today that she is Wiccan. Out of respect for her, I'm not going to say her name, but I was so excited when I just decided to ask her what religion she was and she told me Wiccan! So exciting! I've had a couple of witchy friends before. One that I met was from Virginia. We'd gone to school together at SPC. Her energy was wacky and weird. You know when you feel someone's energy is off, like they've got a major mental illness, or some sort of weird sickness? That's how she felt to me. I'm not talking about her being bipolar or something like that, I mean some sort of major mental illness. Our energies didn't meld well together, and she had some beliefs that were opposing to mine. She was also the kind of person that played "Poor pitiful me, everyone treats me wrong, I need things handed to me, etc., etc., etc." Needless to say, that friendship didn't end well. Then there was Ari's mom. I loved her, and loved spending time talking to her, learning from her, but Ari was so jealous of us getting close. So, that friendship didn't work out either because her weird, jealous daughter couldn't stand the idea of anyone else getting close to her friends. So I am excited to have met a friend that is as normal as I get.
Okay, off that subject and on to the next one. I said goodbye to my favorite client today. Unfortunately, today was the last day that I got to work on her at the school. I'll be moving 2 hours away after I finish school, or I have a sneaking suspicion that she would have followed me. I knew before hand that this would be our last appointment, so I made a small gift bag for her, as a thank you for everything she did for me, known and unknown. She was the client I looked forward to every week. No matter what was going on in my life at the time, she always somehow made it better. I cannot describe the wonderful bond we had, but I will say that after she got in her truck to leave, I snuck off to a hiding place and cried. I'm going to miss her so much. Saying goodbye to her was so hard. I know I can't just stay on at the school forever and ever just because of my one favorite client, but I wish things had worked out to where I could still see her after graduating.
Anyway, I'm still waiting on my little brother and my friend to show up. My friend apparently thinks it's okay to wait until the absolute last minute to show up tonight, but I have to get to school early tomorrow since I'm completely booked with it being my next to last day. I will not be staying up late tonight, and if I get woke up by my little brother and friend coming in late tonight someone will get words they don't want to hear thrown at them. So yeah, there's what's going on in my life now. Light, love, and brightest blessings!
Also, I forgot to mention it, but I will be changing the url to the blog soon. I'll post a countdown to the day of the change on the sidebar, and I'll update the html for my button. When the url change happens, please be sure to grab a new button so the html will be correct and will send readers to the correct page.
Okay, off that subject and on to the next one. I said goodbye to my favorite client today. Unfortunately, today was the last day that I got to work on her at the school. I'll be moving 2 hours away after I finish school, or I have a sneaking suspicion that she would have followed me. I knew before hand that this would be our last appointment, so I made a small gift bag for her, as a thank you for everything she did for me, known and unknown. She was the client I looked forward to every week. No matter what was going on in my life at the time, she always somehow made it better. I cannot describe the wonderful bond we had, but I will say that after she got in her truck to leave, I snuck off to a hiding place and cried. I'm going to miss her so much. Saying goodbye to her was so hard. I know I can't just stay on at the school forever and ever just because of my one favorite client, but I wish things had worked out to where I could still see her after graduating.
Anyway, I'm still waiting on my little brother and my friend to show up. My friend apparently thinks it's okay to wait until the absolute last minute to show up tonight, but I have to get to school early tomorrow since I'm completely booked with it being my next to last day. I will not be staying up late tonight, and if I get woke up by my little brother and friend coming in late tonight someone will get words they don't want to hear thrown at them. So yeah, there's what's going on in my life now. Light, love, and brightest blessings!
Also, I forgot to mention it, but I will be changing the url to the blog soon. I'll post a countdown to the day of the change on the sidebar, and I'll update the html for my button. When the url change happens, please be sure to grab a new button so the html will be correct and will send readers to the correct page.
10/27/2011
I Graduated Today!
Well not totally. I still have to complete a few hours. I'll be 100% done on Tuesday, but we had our graduation ceremony today. I was informed last minute that I would be included in the graduation ceremony so Mom wasn't able to come since the ceremony was today and I was told today that I would be part of it. At 3:45 I was still dressed in my school uniform which is all black with a hideous black apron, when I noticed that all the other people graduating today were dressed in nicer clothes. I went out to my truck praying I had a nice top that was clean stashed in there somewhere and quickly changed and took my hat off and my hair out of my ponytail. My friend Dana and her son and boyfriend were the only ones able to come last minute. I, of course, was the only one that was informed last minute, so everyone else had family there.
I was the first one called, and I felt like they were trying to make it seem like, "Oh look at that poor little girl, she has no one here for her, she had a lot of obstacles to overcome to finish school, oh that poor baby." I was very angry that I wasn't even given a chance to inform my family so they could be there for me, and I hated feeling like a charity case when the owner of the school told everyone about how I had a lot of things to get through to get here and so on. I was pissed that my mom couldn't be there and I was vaguely alone. On top of that, the closer I get to being completely finished the more I realize Gram isn't here to watch me finish or to be my state board model. I'm glad to be holding my diploma, but I wish they hadn't made me their charity case. I'm not a charity case. When I started the course I paid for it in full without the help or benefit of financial aid, I supplied my own supplies all throughout school, and my parents have helped by supplying gas money, lunch money, and so much more. I am no one's charity case.
I was extremely disappointed that none of my family could come because the school short changed me again. I had teachers take pictures and text them to me just so I could send them to Mom. Crystal, my nail tech teacher, asked if I wanted anyone to come or anyone there. Of course I did, but because they decided to tell me I would be part of the ceremony on the day of the ceremony, none of my people were able to come. My parents have jobs. They can't just leave at the drop of a hat. It was just a bullshit day altogether, but I'm glad that I hit that milestone. Now I've got tomorrow, Saturday, and Tuesday left and I'll be completely finished.
On a different note, the moving service was paid today. They'll be out as scheduled on Tuesday to move my house. The city of Whiteface has been working on prepping my land for my house, and my little brother and friend will be here tomorrow evening to help me pack my house and load up all my stuff and Saturday evening we will all drive back down to my mom's and wait for the movers to get my house there. Monday I will sign the paperwork on my land and officially be a land owner. Monday evening I'll drive back to Amarillo, stay with Dana, go to school for the last time on Tuesday then go back to Mom's. So that's everything that's going on. I need to find the serial number for my house so I can complete the paperwork for the movers so I can fax it to them tomorrow and clean a little at my house before my little brother and friend get here tomorrow so I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Blessings, light and love.
I was the first one called, and I felt like they were trying to make it seem like, "Oh look at that poor little girl, she has no one here for her, she had a lot of obstacles to overcome to finish school, oh that poor baby." I was very angry that I wasn't even given a chance to inform my family so they could be there for me, and I hated feeling like a charity case when the owner of the school told everyone about how I had a lot of things to get through to get here and so on. I was pissed that my mom couldn't be there and I was vaguely alone. On top of that, the closer I get to being completely finished the more I realize Gram isn't here to watch me finish or to be my state board model. I'm glad to be holding my diploma, but I wish they hadn't made me their charity case. I'm not a charity case. When I started the course I paid for it in full without the help or benefit of financial aid, I supplied my own supplies all throughout school, and my parents have helped by supplying gas money, lunch money, and so much more. I am no one's charity case.
I was extremely disappointed that none of my family could come because the school short changed me again. I had teachers take pictures and text them to me just so I could send them to Mom. Crystal, my nail tech teacher, asked if I wanted anyone to come or anyone there. Of course I did, but because they decided to tell me I would be part of the ceremony on the day of the ceremony, none of my people were able to come. My parents have jobs. They can't just leave at the drop of a hat. It was just a bullshit day altogether, but I'm glad that I hit that milestone. Now I've got tomorrow, Saturday, and Tuesday left and I'll be completely finished.
On a different note, the moving service was paid today. They'll be out as scheduled on Tuesday to move my house. The city of Whiteface has been working on prepping my land for my house, and my little brother and friend will be here tomorrow evening to help me pack my house and load up all my stuff and Saturday evening we will all drive back down to my mom's and wait for the movers to get my house there. Monday I will sign the paperwork on my land and officially be a land owner. Monday evening I'll drive back to Amarillo, stay with Dana, go to school for the last time on Tuesday then go back to Mom's. So that's everything that's going on. I need to find the serial number for my house so I can complete the paperwork for the movers so I can fax it to them tomorrow and clean a little at my house before my little brother and friend get here tomorrow so I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Blessings, light and love.
10/26/2011
Commitment: A Witchy Discussion
If you haven't heard, over at The Deepest Well, Aine is having a witchy conversation. It will be a week long on this topic, then she's got more topics to discuss with everyone. As she says, this is an interactive thing. You are welcome to comment here on my response to it, or go on over to The Deepest Well and contribute there. Click here to check out what all is going on, then click here to read more about this week's topic. This is my contribution to the topic.
Aine makes a really good point about when people come into this path, the path of the Pagan, they tend to mix things with their old religion. Guess what ... I am 100% guilty of this. For me, it isn't a problem with committing to my path; no, my problem is this: I came from a Catholic family, albeit an extremely lenient one (many of you know of how my mom bought my first book on witchcraft when I was fifteen), and while the Pagan path feels right to me, the Christian bible also has some good points. I personally do not believe in Hell, and I also have a hard time believing everything in the bible, but in the new testament, Jesus makes some very good points ... he seems almost Pagan to me GASP the horror! I, personally, have tried to meld the two together, because of the good points Jesus makes. In recent times, I've been trying to completely come to grips with my religious beliefs.
After Gram passed away last year, some of you may remember me questioning everything, my purpose, my religion, whether it was actually my religion that killed Gram, and everything under the sun. Even a year later, I still question those things, to a certain extent. Does this mean that I should abandon the Pagan path? No. Does this mean I have a lot of soul searching to do to find out exactly what feels right to me? Yes! Does this mean that I'm not committed? To a certain extent, yes it does mean I'm not committed, because I am trying to figure out what is right to me, but because I am committed to finding out what feels right, and because Paganism itself does feel right to me, means that I am committed, just searching again. Is there a person on this planet that every stops searching? No, because even if you are 100% comfortable in your religious choice, you'll still be searching for other things; education, like minded people, knowledge, truth; these are all things that we as human beings never stop searching for.
The problems I've had of late stem from me being lost and confused. Today, I realized that while I had been praying and reaching out, I wasn't allowing the gods complete access; I was holding them at arm's length. No one likes to be held at arm's length, and most especially the gods. I know if someone is holding me at arm's length, then turns around and asks me for help, I'll be rather hesitant to help them out. The same is true for the gods. Today, while I was driving to school, I completely opened myself up to the gods. I let them see every tiny worry, every tiny hope, everything inside my soul, and do you know what? That is the most peace I've felt in a long time. I felt the arms of the gods enfold me and hold me tight. I felt strength, hope, faith, and so many wonderful, unnamed feelings; so, I made a promise to myself which I discussed in a previous post, to get closer with the gods again. In life, there is an ebb and a flow to everything. There are times in our lives when we feel intensely connected to our religion and our maker, whatever or whoever we consider that maker to be, and then there are times in our lives when we are stressed and stretched thin, that we realize our relationship with that maker isn't as close as it used to be.
In Christianity, they tell us that when those times happen it is because we strayed, because we do not have enough faith. I distinctly remember having to take communion, as part of the Catholic church, and having to tell God that I wasn't pure enough, and then having to ask Him if he would say it was okay for me to take communion. "But only say the words and I shall be healed," still rings in my ears. I hated being told I wasn't good enough to take of his "only begotten son," and just hoping that God thought I was good enough to do so. As a child I had a secret fear that I would go up to the front of the church, receive my "holy host," and be struck down by lightning because God didn't think I was good enough. I hated the idea of a god that could look down on the people and things he had created and one day decide he hated them, then destroy them in a flood, except for his select few that he approved of, but then on the other hand, he was supposed to be an all loving, all forgiving god. I'm sorry, to me, if you woke up one day and decided you hated everything you created except for this one thing and destroyed it all, you'll do it again, and you're not that all loving or all forgiving. I hated being told that I was dirty, and not good enough, unless I came into confession and begged for forgiveness.
The allure of Paganism was this: from the first page of the first book that I ever read, I was told that I was just fine. There was no one to beg forgiveness from because there wasn't anything wrong with me, I was being a natural, normal human being. So I looked at a young man with longing last week ... in the church I would have to say a million hail mary's to be absolved of the sing, but in Paganism I was told it was okay, that human attraction was a natural part of living. I was finally released from the oppressiveness of the church and told that I was normal, and not fighting a losing battle against sin. Christianity teaches you that when you're relationship with God isn't as close as normal, you are doing something wrong, that you need to come back to the fold, beg forgiveness and let God take you "under His wing" again. Paganism teaches you that there is an ebb and flow to everything, including faith, and it's okay. The problem in Paganism is that you are 100% allowed to create your own path. There are certain guidelines here and there, but from one Pagan to the next there are many, many differences.
It can be hard going from a religion that has strict guidelines and rules, to one with loose rules, and slippery guidelines, to forge your own path. When settlers moved to the west, only the hardiest and most stubborn survived. Paganism makes me think of that. Only those of us hardy enough and stubborn enough to stick to what we truly believe, despite what the rest of society thinks, will stay on the path. My path is very curvy. On the one hand, I want to stay true to my religion, despite what others think, and I want to stay close to the gods and nature, but on the other hand, the pressure from the rest of society to be "normal" and to do the "Christian" thing can wear me down from time to time. I still own a bible, and still randomly glance in it, but I'm so torn inside when I open the bible that I close it again as soon as I open it. Christianity doesn't feel right to me, and it never will, but there's still that little voice in the back of my mind, drilled in there from years of catechisms, saying that it's the devil causing me to be this way. I can still hear Granddad telling me that because of my interest in paganism the devil killed Grandma ...
"The devil's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist," those words, spoken from my grandfather's mouth almost 3 days after Gram's funeral still in my ears, and I ask myself, is that really what's going on? Has the devil tricked me into believing that he's not real and leading me down a path that will end up burning me in more ways than one? Then I look at all the blessings in my life. I own my house, I have money put away to be able to support myself in school, pay for the things that randomly pop up in life, and open my own nail salon. I have a great family, good friends, food in the pantry, and toilet paper in the bathroom ... surely if it was the Christian devil, things wouldn't be going as great as they are. Then I look over the problems that are in my life ... the fact that I have to move my house because of this rv park, the stresses and worries, the issues at school. Usually, even if inadvertently, I create those problems for myself. I over think things and cause the worries I have on my mind to happen.
So, if I'm the one causing my own problems, there's no devil to blame, unless I'm the devil, and I'm fairly certain I'm not ... last time I checked I didn't have a pointed tail or horns, but let me check again just in case ... nope no tail, no horns. I fall off my Pagan path because I am a human and as such, I get other things on my mind and wander away from the path. It's not because I'm not committed, it's because even in my day to day life, I'm a gypsy, I wander and travel (even if only in my mind). It's part of my nature, so I occasionally wander away from my beliefs, but just like home, I always come back. Anyway, that's my response on the topic. Sorry it's so long lol. What about yall? Do any of you have a problem with wandering away from your chosen path?
Aine makes a really good point about when people come into this path, the path of the Pagan, they tend to mix things with their old religion. Guess what ... I am 100% guilty of this. For me, it isn't a problem with committing to my path; no, my problem is this: I came from a Catholic family, albeit an extremely lenient one (many of you know of how my mom bought my first book on witchcraft when I was fifteen), and while the Pagan path feels right to me, the Christian bible also has some good points. I personally do not believe in Hell, and I also have a hard time believing everything in the bible, but in the new testament, Jesus makes some very good points ... he seems almost Pagan to me GASP the horror! I, personally, have tried to meld the two together, because of the good points Jesus makes. In recent times, I've been trying to completely come to grips with my religious beliefs.
After Gram passed away last year, some of you may remember me questioning everything, my purpose, my religion, whether it was actually my religion that killed Gram, and everything under the sun. Even a year later, I still question those things, to a certain extent. Does this mean that I should abandon the Pagan path? No. Does this mean I have a lot of soul searching to do to find out exactly what feels right to me? Yes! Does this mean that I'm not committed? To a certain extent, yes it does mean I'm not committed, because I am trying to figure out what is right to me, but because I am committed to finding out what feels right, and because Paganism itself does feel right to me, means that I am committed, just searching again. Is there a person on this planet that every stops searching? No, because even if you are 100% comfortable in your religious choice, you'll still be searching for other things; education, like minded people, knowledge, truth; these are all things that we as human beings never stop searching for.
The problems I've had of late stem from me being lost and confused. Today, I realized that while I had been praying and reaching out, I wasn't allowing the gods complete access; I was holding them at arm's length. No one likes to be held at arm's length, and most especially the gods. I know if someone is holding me at arm's length, then turns around and asks me for help, I'll be rather hesitant to help them out. The same is true for the gods. Today, while I was driving to school, I completely opened myself up to the gods. I let them see every tiny worry, every tiny hope, everything inside my soul, and do you know what? That is the most peace I've felt in a long time. I felt the arms of the gods enfold me and hold me tight. I felt strength, hope, faith, and so many wonderful, unnamed feelings; so, I made a promise to myself which I discussed in a previous post, to get closer with the gods again. In life, there is an ebb and a flow to everything. There are times in our lives when we feel intensely connected to our religion and our maker, whatever or whoever we consider that maker to be, and then there are times in our lives when we are stressed and stretched thin, that we realize our relationship with that maker isn't as close as it used to be.
In Christianity, they tell us that when those times happen it is because we strayed, because we do not have enough faith. I distinctly remember having to take communion, as part of the Catholic church, and having to tell God that I wasn't pure enough, and then having to ask Him if he would say it was okay for me to take communion. "But only say the words and I shall be healed," still rings in my ears. I hated being told I wasn't good enough to take of his "only begotten son," and just hoping that God thought I was good enough to do so. As a child I had a secret fear that I would go up to the front of the church, receive my "holy host," and be struck down by lightning because God didn't think I was good enough. I hated the idea of a god that could look down on the people and things he had created and one day decide he hated them, then destroy them in a flood, except for his select few that he approved of, but then on the other hand, he was supposed to be an all loving, all forgiving god. I'm sorry, to me, if you woke up one day and decided you hated everything you created except for this one thing and destroyed it all, you'll do it again, and you're not that all loving or all forgiving. I hated being told that I was dirty, and not good enough, unless I came into confession and begged for forgiveness.
The allure of Paganism was this: from the first page of the first book that I ever read, I was told that I was just fine. There was no one to beg forgiveness from because there wasn't anything wrong with me, I was being a natural, normal human being. So I looked at a young man with longing last week ... in the church I would have to say a million hail mary's to be absolved of the sing, but in Paganism I was told it was okay, that human attraction was a natural part of living. I was finally released from the oppressiveness of the church and told that I was normal, and not fighting a losing battle against sin. Christianity teaches you that when you're relationship with God isn't as close as normal, you are doing something wrong, that you need to come back to the fold, beg forgiveness and let God take you "under His wing" again. Paganism teaches you that there is an ebb and flow to everything, including faith, and it's okay. The problem in Paganism is that you are 100% allowed to create your own path. There are certain guidelines here and there, but from one Pagan to the next there are many, many differences.
It can be hard going from a religion that has strict guidelines and rules, to one with loose rules, and slippery guidelines, to forge your own path. When settlers moved to the west, only the hardiest and most stubborn survived. Paganism makes me think of that. Only those of us hardy enough and stubborn enough to stick to what we truly believe, despite what the rest of society thinks, will stay on the path. My path is very curvy. On the one hand, I want to stay true to my religion, despite what others think, and I want to stay close to the gods and nature, but on the other hand, the pressure from the rest of society to be "normal" and to do the "Christian" thing can wear me down from time to time. I still own a bible, and still randomly glance in it, but I'm so torn inside when I open the bible that I close it again as soon as I open it. Christianity doesn't feel right to me, and it never will, but there's still that little voice in the back of my mind, drilled in there from years of catechisms, saying that it's the devil causing me to be this way. I can still hear Granddad telling me that because of my interest in paganism the devil killed Grandma ...
"The devil's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist," those words, spoken from my grandfather's mouth almost 3 days after Gram's funeral still in my ears, and I ask myself, is that really what's going on? Has the devil tricked me into believing that he's not real and leading me down a path that will end up burning me in more ways than one? Then I look at all the blessings in my life. I own my house, I have money put away to be able to support myself in school, pay for the things that randomly pop up in life, and open my own nail salon. I have a great family, good friends, food in the pantry, and toilet paper in the bathroom ... surely if it was the Christian devil, things wouldn't be going as great as they are. Then I look over the problems that are in my life ... the fact that I have to move my house because of this rv park, the stresses and worries, the issues at school. Usually, even if inadvertently, I create those problems for myself. I over think things and cause the worries I have on my mind to happen.
So, if I'm the one causing my own problems, there's no devil to blame, unless I'm the devil, and I'm fairly certain I'm not ... last time I checked I didn't have a pointed tail or horns, but let me check again just in case ... nope no tail, no horns. I fall off my Pagan path because I am a human and as such, I get other things on my mind and wander away from the path. It's not because I'm not committed, it's because even in my day to day life, I'm a gypsy, I wander and travel (even if only in my mind). It's part of my nature, so I occasionally wander away from my beliefs, but just like home, I always come back. Anyway, that's my response on the topic. Sorry it's so long lol. What about yall? Do any of you have a problem with wandering away from your chosen path?
Update: Missing That Jolly Halloween Feeling
Thank you to Aine and Deborah for their wonderful comments. They really made me feel better. I just thought I would take some time out to let you guys know everything that's going on. The last time I wrote, the rv park I live in was making me get rid of my dog. I took her to my mom's where she's safest, and told you guys that I am moving. I am still moving, but let me tell you what happened when I got back from Mom's house. I pulled into my driveway late at night, like 1 am, and find a note on my door stating that I have to get rid of my dog and that I have to move my house by November 1st at 11 am. I had never received a phone call in the 2 days that I was at my mom's and when the whole issue with my dog and the mace happy electric company worker happened, the main manager of the park didn't even handle his issues himself, he made some other person come up to my house and tell me my precious doggy had to leave. Then when I called the office he supposedly wasn't there, and I informed the person working the desk of what she could tell him. No it wasn't nice words.
Nothing ticks me off worse than a damn coward. If you don't have the guts to tell me this kind of stuff to my face, or even over the phone, you're gonna piss me off worse than I would be for you just telling me to leave. Be a man or woman and tell me in something more than just a little piece of paper. Heck yeah there are things in my life that I'd rather chew my foot off than do, but guess what ... we're grown ups and we have to put our big people undies on and deal with it. So yeah, I'm more than pissed at this horrible rv park, for more reasons than one. I think it's hilarious that they taped that piece of paper to my door saying I have to leave after I had informed them that they are the worst place to rent from on the planet and that they had lost business with me. Mike Marty is a yellow bellied cur and should be drug in the street and beat with a brand new rodeo rope.
However, despite my extreme anger at this horrible place, things are going wonderfully well. I called a house moving company, dreading what price they were going to quote me on moving my house well over 130 miles across Texas, and they were amazingly helpful, informative, and reasonable on price. You'll never guess the price they quoted me, so I'll just tell you ... $1,400. That includes moving it 130 miles across Texas and leveling it for me. I've praised the gods several times for that blessing, and Deborah, I'm going to thank you as well since you've been keeping me in your thoughts. I bought 4 city lots in Whiteface, where my mom lives, for $3,300, and I'll be moving my house there. Two of the lots are meant for my house, and the other two are meant for my nail salon. Blessing after blessing keeps coming my way, and I keep praising and thanking the gods for these amazing windfalls.
My little brother and a friend are coming up this weekend to help me disconnect the house from sewage, water, and electricity, and to pack, so it will be all ready to move on Tuesday when the moving company gets here. I'll leave Saturday evening and stay with Mom so I can sign all the paperwork needed for my lots and such on Monday, then Monday evening I'll come back up and stay with my friend Dana so I can finish up my last day in school on Tuesday, then it's back down to Whiteface to start the work on plumbing the lot my house will be sitting on so I can hook up my house. It seems like a whole lot of driving and a lot of work, but I'm so excited to get out of this town that the work seems like nothing. School's going a little better. I'm just so totally ready to be finished! I'm going to schedule my written exam as soon as I get my hours and just take it in Lubbock. Then when it comes time to take my practical Mom and I will drive up here to Amarillo for the test and go home afterwards. It will be at least a month or so before I can start working, and I'm looking forward to the down time. That gives me time to work on different techniques I've seen online and test a couple different products I'm interested in before swearing by them in the salon.
Things, so far, are going exactly according to plan. I'm counting my lucky stars and thanking everyone who has had me in their prayers, thoughts, energy workings, or whatever it is you beautiful darlings do. I've realized that although yes I'm having a lot of issues here in this city and I can't wait to get back to my small town America, but a lot of the stress is brought on because I haven't been centered or grounded. I've lost my connect with my Mother Earth. The energy in my home is discordant, my personal energy is twisted and obscured, and my mind is a bigger mess than 10 jigsaw puzzles thrown on the floor and mixed together. Today I made a conscious effort to center and ground myself while driving to school. It made a major difference. So, I am making a promise to myself ... I am going to wake up a little earlier the next few days so I can spend time centering and grounding myself every morning before school. In the afternoons I am going to try to scrape out some time to meditate, even if only for a few minutes. I miss meditating so much. Maybe once school is over I'll do a short segment on centering, grounding, and meditating. Maybe I'll start sharing my meditations again. We'll see on those, but I will keep you informed on the daily things I'll be doing the next few days. I love my amazing readers so much! You guys have been an amazing blessing as well.
Nothing ticks me off worse than a damn coward. If you don't have the guts to tell me this kind of stuff to my face, or even over the phone, you're gonna piss me off worse than I would be for you just telling me to leave. Be a man or woman and tell me in something more than just a little piece of paper. Heck yeah there are things in my life that I'd rather chew my foot off than do, but guess what ... we're grown ups and we have to put our big people undies on and deal with it. So yeah, I'm more than pissed at this horrible rv park, for more reasons than one. I think it's hilarious that they taped that piece of paper to my door saying I have to leave after I had informed them that they are the worst place to rent from on the planet and that they had lost business with me. Mike Marty is a yellow bellied cur and should be drug in the street and beat with a brand new rodeo rope.
However, despite my extreme anger at this horrible place, things are going wonderfully well. I called a house moving company, dreading what price they were going to quote me on moving my house well over 130 miles across Texas, and they were amazingly helpful, informative, and reasonable on price. You'll never guess the price they quoted me, so I'll just tell you ... $1,400. That includes moving it 130 miles across Texas and leveling it for me. I've praised the gods several times for that blessing, and Deborah, I'm going to thank you as well since you've been keeping me in your thoughts. I bought 4 city lots in Whiteface, where my mom lives, for $3,300, and I'll be moving my house there. Two of the lots are meant for my house, and the other two are meant for my nail salon. Blessing after blessing keeps coming my way, and I keep praising and thanking the gods for these amazing windfalls.
My little brother and a friend are coming up this weekend to help me disconnect the house from sewage, water, and electricity, and to pack, so it will be all ready to move on Tuesday when the moving company gets here. I'll leave Saturday evening and stay with Mom so I can sign all the paperwork needed for my lots and such on Monday, then Monday evening I'll come back up and stay with my friend Dana so I can finish up my last day in school on Tuesday, then it's back down to Whiteface to start the work on plumbing the lot my house will be sitting on so I can hook up my house. It seems like a whole lot of driving and a lot of work, but I'm so excited to get out of this town that the work seems like nothing. School's going a little better. I'm just so totally ready to be finished! I'm going to schedule my written exam as soon as I get my hours and just take it in Lubbock. Then when it comes time to take my practical Mom and I will drive up here to Amarillo for the test and go home afterwards. It will be at least a month or so before I can start working, and I'm looking forward to the down time. That gives me time to work on different techniques I've seen online and test a couple different products I'm interested in before swearing by them in the salon.
Things, so far, are going exactly according to plan. I'm counting my lucky stars and thanking everyone who has had me in their prayers, thoughts, energy workings, or whatever it is you beautiful darlings do. I've realized that although yes I'm having a lot of issues here in this city and I can't wait to get back to my small town America, but a lot of the stress is brought on because I haven't been centered or grounded. I've lost my connect with my Mother Earth. The energy in my home is discordant, my personal energy is twisted and obscured, and my mind is a bigger mess than 10 jigsaw puzzles thrown on the floor and mixed together. Today I made a conscious effort to center and ground myself while driving to school. It made a major difference. So, I am making a promise to myself ... I am going to wake up a little earlier the next few days so I can spend time centering and grounding myself every morning before school. In the afternoons I am going to try to scrape out some time to meditate, even if only for a few minutes. I miss meditating so much. Maybe once school is over I'll do a short segment on centering, grounding, and meditating. Maybe I'll start sharing my meditations again. We'll see on those, but I will keep you informed on the daily things I'll be doing the next few days. I love my amazing readers so much! You guys have been an amazing blessing as well.
10/24/2011
Missing That Jolly Halloween Feeling
It's October 24th, as I'm sure you well know, exactly 7 days from Halloween, and it is as hot as July here in Texas. Most of you know that Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday of the entire year, but I have to admit, I'm just not in my jolly Halloween mood this year. I'm sure the stress of school, moving, and so forth is part of it, and I dearly miss the excitement I usually feel around this time of year. I miss being excited about going to the silly haunted houses that are supposed to scare you, but are more of just a laugh instead. I miss getting excited about finding that perfect Halloween costume, decorating the house, handing out candy to the trick or treaters, and of course, the Samhain ritual.
I'm having problems at the trailer park my little house is in right now. I've had to bring my dog to my mom's so she will be safe from the jerks that run the park. Some electric company worker tried to mace her the other day and now I've been told my dog has to leave the park, even though she wasn't in the wrong. Admittedly I lost my temper. I told them some very unladylike things, and informed them that they had lost business. I will be finished with school next Tuesday, and I'm praying the gods bless me enough to find a house moving company that will be able to move my house that week, at an affordable price. I was going to be moving back down to the town my mom lives in after I finished school, just not so soon. I was going to wait and get all of my state tests for my license out of the way first ... Now it looks like I'll be scheduling the written test and taking it here, then I'll schedule my practical and just drive to Amarillo to study for it and take it.
I'm looking forward to getting out of that city. As the name of my blog implies, I am a country girl, and living in that city is wearing me thin. I feel like there is nowhere for me to get away from everything. I'm surrounded and can't find room to breathe. People have asked me before if I'd ever tried living in a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas. My response has always been: "I know I wouldn't be able to permanently survive there." Sure I could handle it on a temporary basis, and I might even enjoy it for a very short amount of time, but eventually I would miss the solitude of the country. I would miss being able to go out on my porch and look at the stars, or stepping out my back door and watching deer walk around. I'm just not built to live in the city. Yes, I get tired of small towns at times because it can be smothering having everyone and their mama knowing your business, but you sure can't beat the hospitality in a small town. Even if they know all your business, if you've fallen on hard times, everyone in a small town will offer a helping hand in one way or another.
I just keep worrying about everything. I want everything to go good with school so I can finish up and get away. I want things to go the way I want them to when it comes to finding a house moving service, and I just want everything to go right. I'm nervous and worried about everything, and to top it off, my precious dog has to stay with my mom while I finish school and get the house moved because of a bunch of crap at the rv park my house is in. I can't stand that park, but I think I've done that rant on here. I hate having to be without my dog. It's like leaving my daughter with my mom. I know she'll be fine, but I don't want to have to live without her either. Who is going to snuggle with me at night? Who is going to greet me when I get home from school? Yes I have a new puppy named Lily Munster, but its not the same. I've raised Princess since she was 6 weeks old and she's now a little over a year. It's hard to be without her. I'm just praying, everyday, that things work out smoothly. Please keep that in your prayers, thoughts, and/or energy works, if you think about it. Thanks for listening, again.
I'm having problems at the trailer park my little house is in right now. I've had to bring my dog to my mom's so she will be safe from the jerks that run the park. Some electric company worker tried to mace her the other day and now I've been told my dog has to leave the park, even though she wasn't in the wrong. Admittedly I lost my temper. I told them some very unladylike things, and informed them that they had lost business. I will be finished with school next Tuesday, and I'm praying the gods bless me enough to find a house moving company that will be able to move my house that week, at an affordable price. I was going to be moving back down to the town my mom lives in after I finished school, just not so soon. I was going to wait and get all of my state tests for my license out of the way first ... Now it looks like I'll be scheduling the written test and taking it here, then I'll schedule my practical and just drive to Amarillo to study for it and take it.
I'm looking forward to getting out of that city. As the name of my blog implies, I am a country girl, and living in that city is wearing me thin. I feel like there is nowhere for me to get away from everything. I'm surrounded and can't find room to breathe. People have asked me before if I'd ever tried living in a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas. My response has always been: "I know I wouldn't be able to permanently survive there." Sure I could handle it on a temporary basis, and I might even enjoy it for a very short amount of time, but eventually I would miss the solitude of the country. I would miss being able to go out on my porch and look at the stars, or stepping out my back door and watching deer walk around. I'm just not built to live in the city. Yes, I get tired of small towns at times because it can be smothering having everyone and their mama knowing your business, but you sure can't beat the hospitality in a small town. Even if they know all your business, if you've fallen on hard times, everyone in a small town will offer a helping hand in one way or another.
I just keep worrying about everything. I want everything to go good with school so I can finish up and get away. I want things to go the way I want them to when it comes to finding a house moving service, and I just want everything to go right. I'm nervous and worried about everything, and to top it off, my precious dog has to stay with my mom while I finish school and get the house moved because of a bunch of crap at the rv park my house is in. I can't stand that park, but I think I've done that rant on here. I hate having to be without my dog. It's like leaving my daughter with my mom. I know she'll be fine, but I don't want to have to live without her either. Who is going to snuggle with me at night? Who is going to greet me when I get home from school? Yes I have a new puppy named Lily Munster, but its not the same. I've raised Princess since she was 6 weeks old and she's now a little over a year. It's hard to be without her. I'm just praying, everyday, that things work out smoothly. Please keep that in your prayers, thoughts, and/or energy works, if you think about it. Thanks for listening, again.
10/20/2011
Giveaway Over at Mrs. B's!
Okay, again... I've been gone and busy... tonight I decided to try to catch up on everything I've missed and I ran across this awesome giveaway over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom. There's a book called The Witches Book of the Dead by Christian Day that I have my eyes on and I'm crossing my fingers hoping I might win. Hop on your broomstick and fly on over there to check out the giveaway... if you haven't already since I'm way behind on everything!
A Big Hello Plus A Major School Rant
Well guys, I've not been around as much as I wanted this month. Things at school have been hectic. Thankfully I'll be finished with school at the end of next week! I'm so ready to be out of there! I love what I do... I really enjoy being able to make people relax with wonderful massages and things like that. I really enjoy coming up with my own ideas for spa manis and pedis, but I have one teacher that just loves to make my life miserable up there. She loves to downgrade me in front of the clients. Man I wish she would just get a life and stop trying to make mine miserable. Here's an example: The other day I had a woman come in wanting a pedicure. I took her shoes and stockings off and inspected her feet to make sure there were no infections or anything like that before I allowed her to put her feet in water. There was a dark spot on her toe that looked like it was growing out just fine, but because the evil bitch teacher, named Vickie, had yelled spoken to me about inspecting feet before even getting water, I asked her if she knew about the spot on her toe.
She told me she had dropped something on it a while back and it was now growing out and not tender anymore. She also told me she'd been to a doctor for it and been cleared to have a pedicure. So now I have a reason for there being a spot on her toe. My big concern ... her feet and legs are so swollen there are indentions from her stockings and shoes. In a salon setting, if someone comes in with swelling like that you are supposed to send them away. If you massage someone's legs that are that swollen there is a chance you can cause a heart attack or stroke. I refused to have that kind of problem on my hands, so I grabbed a teacher that I knew would help me with the issue, the school's color specialist, named Mon, who is also very knowledgeable about manicures and pedicures as well. She checks out the woman's feet and legs and decides it isn't okay to go ahead with the pedicure.
Well the evil teacher, Vickie, happened to be in my section and decided to stick her big fat nose in the situation. She looks at the woman's feet and says she has a fungus just because there is a spot on the woman's toe. Although all of us try to explain to her that the woman dropped something on her toe causing a bruise (which would account for a dark spot on a toe), she continues to insist that it is fungus and then she has the nerve to say this in FRONT of the client "You can't believe the customers ... that is a fungus. She hasn't been to a doctor for it, people will lie just to be able to get a pedicure. We won't allow her back without a doctor's note." She then goes on to inform me that any dark spot on the toe black, brown, blue, green, yellow, or any other strange color is a fungus and should never be worked on. Now I would generally agree with that, but there is a major difference between a fungus and a damn bruise!
She then proceeds to talk down to me still in front of the client saying "You're about to finish and you still can't tell the difference between people you need to send away and the ones you can work on. You really need to pay attention to these things." Here's the deal ... over half of the women that walk into that school for manicures and pedicures should be turned away. When I grab a teacher (as per school policy) to inspect the issue most of them tell me to work on it, even when I know and feel that there is something wrong. There was another woman that came in with brown streaks and spots in her toenails. When I asked her if she knew where they came from she informed me that she had been to an Asian pedicurist and a few days later those spots and streaks showed up. That tells me she got an infection from their filthy instruments. So I grab a teacher the one who loves to tease us and talk crap (all in fun, not in cruelty), named Tav, to check it out, and she tells me there's nothing wrong and to work on it. I can feel from the woman's energy that there is something majorly wrong, but I've been cleared to work on the woman which means I have to do the pedicure. As a student I am not allowed to refuse a service on anyone. If I do, I face having to clock out and go home, losing valuable hours.
After the fiasco with the woman with the bruise I went to the back of the school, away from my section so I could hide from Vickie. The back of the school is Mon's section so I knew I would be safe. Mon asked me what was wrong and I told her that Vickie had just talked down to me in front of a client. Then I told her about Vickie calling the client a liar while the client was there. Vickie had also informed me that I could have worked on the woman despite the swelling if it hadn't been for the spot on her toe. Mon nearly hit the roof when she heard that. Again, we are NOT supposed to work on someone with that severe of swelling. Every time I turn around up there I have another damn contradiction to work with. Such as this: in Texas a nail technician isn't allowed to clip the cuticles on the toes because that is the toes only barrier against infection. That regulation has been around for quite a while. One of my fellow nail tech students had been clipping toe cuticles and it really bothered me. I inform Mon about that and she says she'll discuss it with the other girl.
Well, Mon was getting ready to go on vacation around the same time and it slipped her mind. So I think I'll just go to Vickie because she's such a stickler about regulations. I walk in and inform her about my concerns and she looks at me as if I've grown a second head. Her response: "I trim my cuticles at home, why wouldn't we be able to do it in the salon?" Well, I clear out my abcesses at home, but if a person comes in with an abcess on their toe I'm not going to clear it out in the salon ... that would be contaminating everything. Abcesses need to go to the doctor! Of course, I don't tell her that, I just say: "Well, it's my understanding that it is against regulation to do it in the salon." She says, "Well what does your book say about it?" My response: "I'm not sure what the book says about it, but it doesn't cover every state's regulations." She then decides to check the book and see what it says. The book says it's okay to clip the cuticles if necessary, but again it doesn't cover every state's regulations, and it also says to check with your state regulating service; however, Vickie okay's it and tells me to stay out of the other girl's business!
I ask you this ... how in the hell is a person supposed to get a good, well rounded education if every time they turn around each teacher is contradicting the other?! Mon tells us "Do not clip the toe cuticles, don't push them back with any metal implement," then Vickie tells us "Stay out of each other's business and just do things according to the text book." However, again, the text book always tells us to check with our state regulating service on certain things and Vickie doesn't even care enough to pay attention to regulations! Tav tells me to work on a woman with brown streaks and spots on her toes that are obviously some sort of infection, but Vickie yells at me for approving a bruise but turning away swelling that could cause a heart attack if massaged. I had attended a different school before I started at the one I'm at for the same thing, so I already knew most of the regulations and I constantly stay up to date with sanitation guidelines and so forth through my state regulating service, so I thankfully know right from wrong, but what about the other poor girls that go to school there? If the teachers can't be consistent with each other, exactly how is the student supposed to know what's right and what isn't?
Thankfully I'll be done next week. But since I've had such a horrible experience, I'm starting to consider opening my own school, specifically just for nail techs. Of course, I want to get some experience in the salon first. I'd be a major hypocrite if I just finished school, then turned around and decided I wanted to open a school. I need real life experience too. Anyway, that's my rant for today lol. I really do miss you guys though. Once I finish school and all my tests, I plan on taking a nice break from it all before I start working. I'll have more time to spend here in the blogosphere talking to my dear friends. I hope everyone's October is going great. I'm sad that I'm missing out on a lot of things going on. Now that I'm finished with the class work at school and I'm just collecting hours until I'm finished, maybe I'll have more time in the evenings to keep up with everything going on. Love, light, and blessings to everyone!
She told me she had dropped something on it a while back and it was now growing out and not tender anymore. She also told me she'd been to a doctor for it and been cleared to have a pedicure. So now I have a reason for there being a spot on her toe. My big concern ... her feet and legs are so swollen there are indentions from her stockings and shoes. In a salon setting, if someone comes in with swelling like that you are supposed to send them away. If you massage someone's legs that are that swollen there is a chance you can cause a heart attack or stroke. I refused to have that kind of problem on my hands, so I grabbed a teacher that I knew would help me with the issue, the school's color specialist, named Mon, who is also very knowledgeable about manicures and pedicures as well. She checks out the woman's feet and legs and decides it isn't okay to go ahead with the pedicure.
Well the evil teacher, Vickie, happened to be in my section and decided to stick her big fat nose in the situation. She looks at the woman's feet and says she has a fungus just because there is a spot on the woman's toe. Although all of us try to explain to her that the woman dropped something on her toe causing a bruise (which would account for a dark spot on a toe), she continues to insist that it is fungus and then she has the nerve to say this in FRONT of the client "You can't believe the customers ... that is a fungus. She hasn't been to a doctor for it, people will lie just to be able to get a pedicure. We won't allow her back without a doctor's note." She then goes on to inform me that any dark spot on the toe black, brown, blue, green, yellow, or any other strange color is a fungus and should never be worked on. Now I would generally agree with that, but there is a major difference between a fungus and a damn bruise!
She then proceeds to talk down to me still in front of the client saying "You're about to finish and you still can't tell the difference between people you need to send away and the ones you can work on. You really need to pay attention to these things." Here's the deal ... over half of the women that walk into that school for manicures and pedicures should be turned away. When I grab a teacher (as per school policy) to inspect the issue most of them tell me to work on it, even when I know and feel that there is something wrong. There was another woman that came in with brown streaks and spots in her toenails. When I asked her if she knew where they came from she informed me that she had been to an Asian pedicurist and a few days later those spots and streaks showed up. That tells me she got an infection from their filthy instruments. So I grab a teacher the one who loves to tease us and talk crap (all in fun, not in cruelty), named Tav, to check it out, and she tells me there's nothing wrong and to work on it. I can feel from the woman's energy that there is something majorly wrong, but I've been cleared to work on the woman which means I have to do the pedicure. As a student I am not allowed to refuse a service on anyone. If I do, I face having to clock out and go home, losing valuable hours.
After the fiasco with the woman with the bruise I went to the back of the school, away from my section so I could hide from Vickie. The back of the school is Mon's section so I knew I would be safe. Mon asked me what was wrong and I told her that Vickie had just talked down to me in front of a client. Then I told her about Vickie calling the client a liar while the client was there. Vickie had also informed me that I could have worked on the woman despite the swelling if it hadn't been for the spot on her toe. Mon nearly hit the roof when she heard that. Again, we are NOT supposed to work on someone with that severe of swelling. Every time I turn around up there I have another damn contradiction to work with. Such as this: in Texas a nail technician isn't allowed to clip the cuticles on the toes because that is the toes only barrier against infection. That regulation has been around for quite a while. One of my fellow nail tech students had been clipping toe cuticles and it really bothered me. I inform Mon about that and she says she'll discuss it with the other girl.
Well, Mon was getting ready to go on vacation around the same time and it slipped her mind. So I think I'll just go to Vickie because she's such a stickler about regulations. I walk in and inform her about my concerns and she looks at me as if I've grown a second head. Her response: "I trim my cuticles at home, why wouldn't we be able to do it in the salon?" Well, I clear out my abcesses at home, but if a person comes in with an abcess on their toe I'm not going to clear it out in the salon ... that would be contaminating everything. Abcesses need to go to the doctor! Of course, I don't tell her that, I just say: "Well, it's my understanding that it is against regulation to do it in the salon." She says, "Well what does your book say about it?" My response: "I'm not sure what the book says about it, but it doesn't cover every state's regulations." She then decides to check the book and see what it says. The book says it's okay to clip the cuticles if necessary, but again it doesn't cover every state's regulations, and it also says to check with your state regulating service; however, Vickie okay's it and tells me to stay out of the other girl's business!
I ask you this ... how in the hell is a person supposed to get a good, well rounded education if every time they turn around each teacher is contradicting the other?! Mon tells us "Do not clip the toe cuticles, don't push them back with any metal implement," then Vickie tells us "Stay out of each other's business and just do things according to the text book." However, again, the text book always tells us to check with our state regulating service on certain things and Vickie doesn't even care enough to pay attention to regulations! Tav tells me to work on a woman with brown streaks and spots on her toes that are obviously some sort of infection, but Vickie yells at me for approving a bruise but turning away swelling that could cause a heart attack if massaged. I had attended a different school before I started at the one I'm at for the same thing, so I already knew most of the regulations and I constantly stay up to date with sanitation guidelines and so forth through my state regulating service, so I thankfully know right from wrong, but what about the other poor girls that go to school there? If the teachers can't be consistent with each other, exactly how is the student supposed to know what's right and what isn't?
Thankfully I'll be done next week. But since I've had such a horrible experience, I'm starting to consider opening my own school, specifically just for nail techs. Of course, I want to get some experience in the salon first. I'd be a major hypocrite if I just finished school, then turned around and decided I wanted to open a school. I need real life experience too. Anyway, that's my rant for today lol. I really do miss you guys though. Once I finish school and all my tests, I plan on taking a nice break from it all before I start working. I'll have more time to spend here in the blogosphere talking to my dear friends. I hope everyone's October is going great. I'm sad that I'm missing out on a lot of things going on. Now that I'm finished with the class work at school and I'm just collecting hours until I'm finished, maybe I'll have more time in the evenings to keep up with everything going on. Love, light, and blessings to everyone!
9/24/2011
Practical Magic In Your Life
Welcome all partiers! I'm sorry this post is a little late. I've been working on my house again! So because I've had my mind on other things completely, I had to pull this post out of thin air! There's a part in the movie when Sally tells Officer Hallet that his star is just a symbol, it can't stop criminals in their tracks, and it only has power because he believes it does. That's how magic works, she told him. And that is very true. So many people come into the craft thinking it's going to be like Hollywood magic that they saw on The Craft or some such show. Many are highly disappointed when they find out that magic is actually very subtle. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can make a very big bang, but most of the time it is very subtle, like the changing of the seasons. From Summer we don't just go from one day temperatures being over 100 then having snow laying on the ground just because we went from July 31st to August 1st. It is very gradual and slow, and happens in its own time. Currently in Amarillo, days are peaking at 95 degrees and nights are peaking at about 68 degrees. The days are slowly getting cooler and you can smell and feel fall on the way, but it didn't just show up out of the blue with a big bang saying "Hey didn't you know?! It's time for fall so too dang bad!" That's also how magic works.
Spell work isn't just lighting a candle and chanting specific words in the exact right way and then in the next 2 minutes your lights start flickering, or like in the movie flower petals float across the country. No, generally you work your spell by preparing whatever steps you feel are necessary, then you say the words you prepared (even if they aren't perfect, so long as it doesn't break your concentration), then you release the energy when you've felt it's built up enough. After that, the changes that you wanted to make may come very gradually, and you may not even notice them until you wake up one day and go "Oh my gods! It actually worked, and I didn't even realize it." But the most important ingredient in spell work is belief. You have to believe it will actually work. Have faith, know that what you are doing is powerful and will bring about changes.
If you sit down with a spell that you found thinking, "I'm gonna try this magic stuff and see if it actually works," nine times out of ten it won't work ... Why? Because deep down those that go about it that way don't believe it will actually work. They think it's just a bunch of mumbo jumbo and they want to prove themselves right. It's just like if you believe you can actually do something, or not, either way you are right. Magic works because we strongly believe it will. It can be fickle and it doesn't have to prove itself to anyone. If you light a candle thinking I don't believe this will actually work, but I'm going to try it, most of the time it won't work because again, magic doesn't have to prove itself to anyone. However, there are those that sit down with a candle and have enough imagination to see something actually happening and even if they aren't sure it will work, they hope it will ... that hope is what will bring about the changes you asked for in that spell. So, that is what I leave you with this fine semi-autumn night. Magic works because you believe it does. And love truly does exist! Be sure to click here to check out the other awesome blogs participating in this party!
9/19/2011
Salon Website
I've made some changes to the website, based on everyone's suggestions. Keep the suggestions coming and I'll keep making it better! I currently do not have a permanent, brick and mortar salon because I have not finished school just yet. I should be finished in October. I just want to get things rolling and doing things like building the website keeps me focused. Your suggestions help me perfect everything before the salon is ever open and I greatly appreciate it. Click here to see the changes made based on your suggestions! I've added an FAQ section to help explain what gel nails and silk wraps are, a party section, and combined the cancellation and sanitation policies into one section to keep the pages section uncluttered. Also, what did you think of the booking software? Was it easy to use or confusing? Currently I am using a free online booking software, but I may change it when I open the salon depending on how good this one is and whether I like it or not and whether you guys like it or not. There are no pictures of the salon up at the moment, again because there is no physical salon lol, but as soon as I find a physical salon after I finish school, I will be adding pictures of the salon and so on. I also need help with creating a logo. Do any of my creative friends have any suggestions based on the name of the salon, what the salon stands for, the fact that the salon is eco-friendly? I really appreciate everyone brainstorming with me and helping me with all of this.
I Need Some Feedback
Hey guys... remember when I said I was thinking about opening an eco-friendly natural nail salon when I finish school? Well I created a website for my nail salon, just to practice and test things out. You'll notice on the site that there is no phone number or address yet but other than that everything is the way I want it... I think. I'll probably be changing the picture that is up there when I create a logo for the salon, but for now what's up works. What I would like for you guys to do is click here, check out the site, and tell me what you think. Do I need to add more info on certain things? Do I need to clarify certain things? Give me your honest, candid feedback so I can make the site perfect for when I do open the nail salon. Thanks in advance guys!
Break Ups are So Hard To Handle
I'm up late tonight... can't sleep. All of you should know by now that I recently went through a break up where everything seemed to be going fine in the relationship until he came home and said he didn't love me. This has been eating at me forever. It bothers me because I kept asking him what went wrong, why he didn't love me anymore, and he kept saying nothing that the relationship was perfect, I was wonderful (easy to get along with, fun to be around, beautiful, sexy, etc.) but he just didn't love me. I'd noticed right before he broke up with me he kept getting texts from someone I could have sworn was called Lisa. His phone would go off and I would get a glimpse of a name then he would pull his phone as close to his chest as he could get it even though normally he never hid his phone from me. Then today on Facebook it showed that he became friends with a girl named Lisa. I'm probably just being the paranoid ex and getting jealous over stupid crap, but the girl looks like me, except her hair is shorter which is weird because he swore he doesn't like short hair, he wanted mine longer and mine goes to a little past my shoulders. Her's was up by her ears.
I know, I know, I'm being a weird ex. I just can't bring myself to delete his profile and I torture myself every other day by looking to see if he's updated his status or anything. I miss him so much and it kills me that things didn't work. I want to know why things went wrong instead of just "I don't love you." I miss him and I hate him at the same time... when does it stop? When does it go away? When does it get better? I hate this and the gypsy in me wants to move away from him so bad! I, of course, have to finish school then I'm thinking about moving back to Clarendon and opening a nail salon there. I just want it to get better. I miss home a lot. I miss being able to go outside my front door and see extremely familiar things and drive less than 2 miles to be out of the city limits and enjoy the night sky. I miss being able to drive out to the lake just because I want to, even if there's very little gas in the truck, and I really miss being able to drive out to the ranch and visit Granddad. I'm only an hour away from him right now, but because I'm always trying to keep gas in the truck so I can drive completely across town to school, I never get a chance to go see him. And most of all, I miss the fact that even if I'm hurting, like I was after Gram died, Clarendon has it's silent way of healing me and making everything better. I know almost everyone there, I never struggle to make friends there because I know my friends, and I miss that.
I moved to Amarillo, not just to help my friend with her fake anxiety attacks, but to also meet new people, and maybe meet a man to date, but it seems like I'm living in a city full of strangers. No one wants to meet new people, they would rather just go about their day, then hide in their homes; either that or they want to go out to the bar and pick up one night stands. It's rather frustrating. And it doesn't help that I'm super shy anyway and it's hard for me to open up to new people. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near as shy as I used to be, but it's still really hard for me to walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them. Anyway, I just wanted to rant and rave a little bit. Thanks for listening to me lol.
I know, I know, I'm being a weird ex. I just can't bring myself to delete his profile and I torture myself every other day by looking to see if he's updated his status or anything. I miss him so much and it kills me that things didn't work. I want to know why things went wrong instead of just "I don't love you." I miss him and I hate him at the same time... when does it stop? When does it go away? When does it get better? I hate this and the gypsy in me wants to move away from him so bad! I, of course, have to finish school then I'm thinking about moving back to Clarendon and opening a nail salon there. I just want it to get better. I miss home a lot. I miss being able to go outside my front door and see extremely familiar things and drive less than 2 miles to be out of the city limits and enjoy the night sky. I miss being able to drive out to the lake just because I want to, even if there's very little gas in the truck, and I really miss being able to drive out to the ranch and visit Granddad. I'm only an hour away from him right now, but because I'm always trying to keep gas in the truck so I can drive completely across town to school, I never get a chance to go see him. And most of all, I miss the fact that even if I'm hurting, like I was after Gram died, Clarendon has it's silent way of healing me and making everything better. I know almost everyone there, I never struggle to make friends there because I know my friends, and I miss that.
I moved to Amarillo, not just to help my friend with her fake anxiety attacks, but to also meet new people, and maybe meet a man to date, but it seems like I'm living in a city full of strangers. No one wants to meet new people, they would rather just go about their day, then hide in their homes; either that or they want to go out to the bar and pick up one night stands. It's rather frustrating. And it doesn't help that I'm super shy anyway and it's hard for me to open up to new people. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near as shy as I used to be, but it's still really hard for me to walk up to a complete stranger and talk to them. Anyway, I just wanted to rant and rave a little bit. Thanks for listening to me lol.
9/16/2011
New Parties!
Okay, so I'm way too busy to try to start another blog party for a while, but there are awesome parties going on all over the blog-o-sphere. One that I participated in last year is back already! I'm excited to take part in it. I probably won't be able to contribute every day, but I can at least contribute once a week. Click below to learn more about it!
9/14/2011
Where Have The Days Gone?
Holy Mother Earth, where in the heck have the days gone?! I just logged on today, after receiving my new computer (bought off Ebay), and realized I haven't written anything since Beltane!!! And here it is coming closer to Samhain! Let me catch you up on some of the things that have happened in my life since Beltane.
#1: I moved from Lubbock to Amarillo to be with a friend of mine that I used to consider my sister because she was a single mom having "anxiety attacks". Now, I know you're wondering, "Willow, why do you say you don't consider her a sister anymore?" Well first off, from the moment I moved in with her, she quit her job and decided that as long as I was there I would pay all the bills by myself. Her "anxiety attacks" were just ploys for attention, and then when I wouldn't do everything her way and let her leech off me she bad mouthed me to the rest of my friends. So no, she is no longer my friend.
#2: I started nail tech school and am almost finished with it. I will hopefully be graduating in Mid-October, and plan on opening my own eco-friendly, green salon. I haven't decided where I want to open it yet, but those things will come with time.
#3: I started dating an amazing man and we had the perfect relationship. We didn't fight, the sex was amazing, and we had a wonderful open communication. However, he came home from work one day and told me he didn't love me and didn't want to string me along so we are no longer together. I still miss him every day and wish things were different.
#4: I bought my own house! It's kind of like a trailer house because I have to hire a house moving service any time I need it moved, but it's set up like an RV. It is 400 sq. ft. with living room, full kitchen, full bathroom, bedroom with a queen size bed in it, and a loft. It looks like a log cabin! I'm so proud of it. I am currently renting the land it is sitting on, and will probably be moving it again after I graduate from school because I've had some major disagreements with the manager here. I've found people standing in my driveway staring at my house, which is creepy by itself, but most especially because I am a single woman living alone with just a cat and a dog. When I mentioned something about it to the manager here at the park, he said, "Well what do you want me to do about it? It's a cute house, people want to look at it." Okay, I'm fine with people looking at my house because it is adorable, but don't be standing in my damn driveway!
So that's the major things... that doesn't include the small stuff like the fact that I caught my hand on fire last Saturday and now have second degree burns on 2 of my fingers, and a first degree burn on my index finger. But I know that I've missed my Pagany people so much! There's been so much drama going on that I just haven't had the time for anything. I missed a lot of school and almost got dropped from the program because of all the insanity going on. Now things have settled down much more and I know for sure that I want to finish my nail tech program. Its hard to stay in the habit of going to school everyday when you've missed as much as I did. I now make daily goals for myself. Today my goal was to stay until 5:00. At my school, we have to be there Tuesday through Saturday. Some girls stay from 8:30 to 3:00, some go from 8:30 until 12:30 and the ultimate full timers stay from 8:30 to 5:00. If you stay til 5:00 you get finished faster. My long term goal is to be done by mid-October, short term goal is to get 40 hours a week, and daily goal is to stay until 5:00 everyday.
I've yet to meet up with any Pagany people here in town, although I did email a woman who is setting up a city-wide Samhain festival. I need to carve out some time to call her. I haven't gone to the local Unitarian Universalist church because in all honesty, I have no freaking clue where it is lol. Their website gives an address, but I've yet to find the road they are on so I haven't attended a meeting yet lol. Some day I will find it. So, what all have I missed in your lives?
#1: I moved from Lubbock to Amarillo to be with a friend of mine that I used to consider my sister because she was a single mom having "anxiety attacks". Now, I know you're wondering, "Willow, why do you say you don't consider her a sister anymore?" Well first off, from the moment I moved in with her, she quit her job and decided that as long as I was there I would pay all the bills by myself. Her "anxiety attacks" were just ploys for attention, and then when I wouldn't do everything her way and let her leech off me she bad mouthed me to the rest of my friends. So no, she is no longer my friend.
#2: I started nail tech school and am almost finished with it. I will hopefully be graduating in Mid-October, and plan on opening my own eco-friendly, green salon. I haven't decided where I want to open it yet, but those things will come with time.
#3: I started dating an amazing man and we had the perfect relationship. We didn't fight, the sex was amazing, and we had a wonderful open communication. However, he came home from work one day and told me he didn't love me and didn't want to string me along so we are no longer together. I still miss him every day and wish things were different.
#4: I bought my own house! It's kind of like a trailer house because I have to hire a house moving service any time I need it moved, but it's set up like an RV. It is 400 sq. ft. with living room, full kitchen, full bathroom, bedroom with a queen size bed in it, and a loft. It looks like a log cabin! I'm so proud of it. I am currently renting the land it is sitting on, and will probably be moving it again after I graduate from school because I've had some major disagreements with the manager here. I've found people standing in my driveway staring at my house, which is creepy by itself, but most especially because I am a single woman living alone with just a cat and a dog. When I mentioned something about it to the manager here at the park, he said, "Well what do you want me to do about it? It's a cute house, people want to look at it." Okay, I'm fine with people looking at my house because it is adorable, but don't be standing in my damn driveway!
So that's the major things... that doesn't include the small stuff like the fact that I caught my hand on fire last Saturday and now have second degree burns on 2 of my fingers, and a first degree burn on my index finger. But I know that I've missed my Pagany people so much! There's been so much drama going on that I just haven't had the time for anything. I missed a lot of school and almost got dropped from the program because of all the insanity going on. Now things have settled down much more and I know for sure that I want to finish my nail tech program. Its hard to stay in the habit of going to school everyday when you've missed as much as I did. I now make daily goals for myself. Today my goal was to stay until 5:00. At my school, we have to be there Tuesday through Saturday. Some girls stay from 8:30 to 3:00, some go from 8:30 until 12:30 and the ultimate full timers stay from 8:30 to 5:00. If you stay til 5:00 you get finished faster. My long term goal is to be done by mid-October, short term goal is to get 40 hours a week, and daily goal is to stay until 5:00 everyday.
I've yet to meet up with any Pagany people here in town, although I did email a woman who is setting up a city-wide Samhain festival. I need to carve out some time to call her. I haven't gone to the local Unitarian Universalist church because in all honesty, I have no freaking clue where it is lol. Their website gives an address, but I've yet to find the road they are on so I haven't attended a meeting yet lol. Some day I will find it. So, what all have I missed in your lives?
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