The Power of Air

I'm back at my mom's until tomorrow and like most typical west Texas days, the wind is blowing like crazy. Some people underestimate the power of air. A lot of people take breathing and light breezes for granted because you get so used to having normal breezes and breathing is an involuntary action, but try walking outside on a day when the wind is blowing so hard that every exposed area of skin is sandblasted and tender to the touch after five minutes of standing outside and you quickly learn a new respect for air.

When I was 19 living on the ranch with Grandma and Granddad we had a tornado pass through the area. Thankfully the damage was minimal in town, and it didn't even come close enough to the house to be a threat, but it did pass close enough that Granddad and I stood out on the front porch and watched it twist and twirl. That was, hands down, one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We'd heard on the news that the tornado was headed our way. Gram and I said in tense anticipation for the moment when Granddad would tell us to run for the hole, everything outside seemed to be holding it's breath with us, and even the earth seemed to be waiting.

It was almost like in the movies when everything goes still and the world waits in tense anticipation. Eventually we heard it coming up the highway which seemed so weird to me because the highway is about three to five miles away from the house. It was the strangest sound ever. One of those sounds you will never forget and you will definitely never associate it with anything else but a tornado. It roared and sucked it's way along the highway and Gram got even more tense.

After a while Gram and I realized that we didn't know where Granddad was. Terror was evident in Gram's eyes. I made her stay at the kitchen table because it would've been easier for me to get to her there if I had to drag her to the hole, and I went in search of Granddad. I found him on the other side of the house standing in his long rain slicker, old beat up cowboy hat staying solidly in place despite the wind that shoved me around, and a mesmerized look on his face.

"What are you doing Granddad?"

"Watchin' that tornado. Where's your Grandma?"

"Sittin' at the table scared that you're dead."

"Well run, go tell her that I'm fine and get her to come watch this with us."

"Yes sir."

And off I go to tell Gram that her soulmate is standing on the front porch watching the tornado and wants to share the experience with us. Now you need to remember that Gram married Granddad when she was 16 and Granddad has done his best to protect her from scary stuff, so it was only natural when she walked up to Granddad and said:

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't worry honey, it's far enough away it's not gonna affect us. Just stand here and watch this with me."

So I need to tell you guys that I am one fearless chick (but only when Granddad says it's safe) so I step out on the porch with Granddad. Gram stayed behind the screen door and some how she positioned herself so she could grab both of us by the back of our slickers. Granddad and I stand in silent awe for about two minutes. I can feel Gram's hand shaking through my slicker which meant if I could tell she was shaking Granddad had known for quite a while that Gram was scared. Granddad took a step back, enough that he could hold Gram's hand without yanking her arm out of socket. We stood together as a family and watched the tornado spin, then suck back up into the clouds, then drop back to the ground and spin again.

Personally that was an amazing experience. I was so amazed by it all. To be honest I got a rush from being so close to something that can cause so much damage. Getting to watch it with my grandparents, the two people who mean the most to me in the world was a blessing in itself. Even now I can be sitting in my truck while the wind is blowing and feel it lift the tail end of my truck up and I remember that time. It's strange how wind has it's own ways of making people take notice of it.

My Magickal Heritage

Hey everyone! I'm back from my moms! Did you miss me? I missed you guys. I truly wish my mom had internet service so I could blog while I was with her. This weekend was great, I got to get my air trimmed, spend time with my mom and have some conversations with her about magick, and go into the city and get some tarot cards. Mom bought her first deck and I bought my third. I also replaced my Gypsy Witch Fortune Telling Playing Cards. I'll share photos in a moment. I also bought a bookshelf to put my magick books on and a college ruled composition notebook to use as my tarot journal.

Mom and I also discussed our heritage and I'm proud to say I am a hereditary witch but because of my great-grandmother and my grandma what was our heritage was lost. But from the conversation I had with my mom I learned we have French, Scottish, and English heritage so I've been researching a little bit. I'm drawn to Gypsy magick and Druid and Celtic magick (even though to be 100% honest I really don't know the difference between Druids and Celts). There are so many different forms of magick from the English countryside I doubt I would ever be able to narrow that down. So I'm excited to tell you guys that I am trying to discover my heritage and my mom wants to learn magick that goes with our heritage so she will be learning with me. But I have to go, there is a movie playing at the local theater that Miss K wants to go to and she will not give me a few minutes to blog about everything I want to blog about. I'll share pictures of the new tarot cards with everyone when I get back from the movie.

Magick And Confidence

Since moving to the town my university is in, I've learned so many wonderful lessons. Thankfully they have been happy, freeing lessons. The biggest lesson has been a lesson in confidence. Before transferring, I had no friends, except for my online friends and my friends that I'd gone to school with from elementary school through high school. Meeting new people was hard for me because I was painfully shy and so scared of rejection, to the point that I didn't try to meet new people, and Goddess forbid if the teacher called on me in class. Just answering questions that I knew the answers to was torture, if I wasn't staring at my desk while answering the teacher, I was staring directly at the teacher and as soon as I was finished I stared at my desk, face burning.

Now things are vastly different. After I got sick of being the way I was, I decided I needed a big time change. So, I started researching universities to transfer to. The idea was, new school, new me. So I spent a whole lot of time researching new schools. Finally I came upon the website for my current school and liked what I saw. Then I researched the town long before I scheduled a tour of the school. Then I announced to my family that I was thinking about transferring here. "Coincidentally," my grandma came upon an article in one of our favorite magazines about the town. I felt a pull toward this place that was really hard to deny.

So, in true Pagan fashion, I followed my intuition and moved four hours away from my mom and a little over seven hours away from my grandparents. The first two weeks here were rough because I didn't have a roommate and I didn't know anyone here. But, the first hall meeting we had broke the ice and I met Miss K and her roommate. Miss K and I became inseparable and I met a lot of people through her because she is a very open person and meets people very easily. As the semester moved along, my confidence grew. Walking across campus and smiling and waving at almost everyone I passed really helped.

Then, over Christmas break, I was going over some of my books on Paganism, and I realized something. I'd always wondered what was holding me back, in my mundane and magickal life. Finally I realized it was my confidence level that held me back. I had always been able to work magick and I got results, just not the big results I wanted. With a higher confidence level, I have been able to choose a path that fits me, and my magick has gotten so much better! Many young people with low self-esteem turn to the craft because it is very empowering, but until you raise your self-esteem and confidence you wont get as far in the craft as you want.

You hear a lot about the mysteries of the craft, but sometimes those mysteries are not explained and people are left wondering why they don't understand. The mysteries aren't that mysterious though. They are your personal secrets. Do you meditate differently than some of the people you've spoken to about it, or than what you've read? That's one of your mysteries. The way you perceive Deity is your mystery. One of my mysteries is this: Your confidence and self-esteem can either hinder or help your magick. Not only can having high self-esteem and confidence levels greatly improve your mundane life, it makes your magickal intent more meaningful and powerful. Now, I don't want to make this post too long and boring so I will end it here; however, I will be writing another post discussing positive affirmations, boosting positivity, and a few other things to help you raise your confidence and self-esteem.

Sacred Space

When I first started studying the craft I read a lot about sacred space. At first it seemed so confusing. I though sacred space was a place where you went through complicated rituals to create it. Now that I've matured and I'm finding my own path I understand it a little better. The best way for me to understand sacred space is to think of the wonderful peace, love, and trust I feel in my grandparents home (which is basically where I consider my home to be). That to me is sacred space, a place where you feel perfect peace, love, and trust.

Now that I'm in school and living in the dorms far away from home, I strive to make my dorm room feel that way. That includes keeping it clean, decorating it in such a way as to make it look and feel like my home, and while cleaning, kicking negativity out. A lot of the stuff I read about sacred space mentioned keeping altars in the living room, etc., but I've never really like having an altar. So, I keep my place clean and free of negativity and it feels like sacred space to me.

Along with my physical sacred space, I do have astral sacred space. Actually, I have a couple of them. One is a sort of meditation type room that has floor pillows, candles, and lavender incense. This is where I go when I just need to calm my mind and push the negativity that accumulates in my life away from me. Another one is kind of hard to explain. Picture a white cottage with a wide front porch with white wicker rocking chairs and a natural wood door (meaning you can see the knots in the wood and everything), in the middle of a meadow surrounded by a forest. Roses climb the porch railings, and there are window boxes filled with gorgeous flowers. This is my favorite place. I go to my cottage all the time. There is always a good cup of tea waiting for me by my rocking chair, and I've spent a lot of personal time with the God and Goddess here.

The little ritual I do while maintaining my sacred space here at the dorms is very easy. Miss K and I clean, and while cleaning I mentally picture removing all of the negativity. Mentally I might ask Aphrodite to come into my living room and my bedroom and bless it with her love and passion. And just like that my sacred space is complete. Even people who don't know how to feel magickal energies can feel the difference.

Mental space is mainly a mental exercise. I picture my places and mentally cleanse them of any negativity that might be lurking there, and move right on in. Each time I visit an astral sacred space I get rid of all negativity first and then speak with Aphrodite or just spend time sitting there getting back into a positive frame of mind. And that's all there is to it! What about your sacred spaces? Do you have a combination of physical and astral sacred spaces? Do you only maintain an astral sacred space or just a physical sacred space, and what kinds of rituals/spells do you do to create and maintain them?

OMG! You're A Witch?!

It still amazes me how people respond to the word Witch. Despite the fact that there are more and more witches living openly, there are still big time misunderstandings about witches and Witchcraft. Take for example the conversation I had with my best friend just last night. We'll call her Miss K. I've known Miss K for a while now. I met her last semester and we've been inseparable ever since then.

Last semester we had a few conversations about religion and how each of us views things. Thankfully I'm able to explain my views well enough that she completely understood my point of view. She was raised Christian just like many of us in America and still enjoys the Christian ideals. Although I understand and respect Christian ideals, it is not my religion of choice. Thankfully Miss K understands that and my religious views have never bothered her.

Last night we discussed Witchcraft in general. Although she is a very open-minded person and she understands my personal practices, she refuses to think of me as a witch. I don't mind the word Witch, I would probably be very honored if someone called me that, but mostly I consider myself a magickal person who is close with nature. These were the things I discussed with Miss K.

Last night some how we got on the subject of ghosts and the devil, and I explained my own beliefs a little more deeply. Although she knows I do not believe in the devil she still holds the misconception that all spellwork involves demon work, being in league with the devil, and other silly notions. I explained to her that most people who do magick don't even believe in the devil. Of course there are still forms of magick out there that do handle some pretty nasty things and I explained that to her as well. She knows that I don't do such things. I don't even know how those things work. I should probably read up on stuff like that because I look at that like Zsuzsanna Budapest does: you cannot heal if you cannot hex. A knowledge of hexes never hurt someone, it's when they start using it that bad things start happening.

Miss K is one of the most open-minded Christians I've ever met. She accepts me the way I am, and she even handled my books about Witchcraft last October when my parents' house burned down. Those books and a few of my classics (Shakespeare, etc.) were the only things salvageable. Coincidence? I think not. The point of all this is that even though Miss K is open-minded she still held misconceptions. Those misconceptions didn't apply to me because she's seen what I do. She basically lives with me ... By now if I was going to do something crazy weird like sacrifice a cat, she would already know. But she doesn't consider me a Witch. She looks at my beliefs as being similar to Native American beliefs, which they are, but I also work with magick. I cast spells, I use tarot cards, I have a relationship with the earth and Mother Nature. She still thinks of Witches as women riding around on brooms, dancing naked with the devil and fornicating with him.

When Miss K was young she lived in New Jersey. She related the story of the Jersey Devil, as she understood it, to me. I want to share it with you because I think it is a pretty good story. According to Miss K, there was an unwed woman who lived in the forest. She had 13 children. She threw the 13th child down her well, hoping to kill it because she couldn't raise it. Instead of dying, that child was rescued by Satan and released from the well as the Jersey Devil. The child, now the Jersey Devil, flew up from the well, splintering the part at the top that held the bucket for getting water from the well. Miss K has seen this home and the well. She says after 200 years the house is falling down, but the well is still there. She said the way the top part of the well is broken it really looks like something flew out of it and splintered it. She also states that after 200 years it could have been anything that broke the well but it still frightened her.

Of course, I don't really understand much about the Jersey Devil. I'm from Texas, born and raised, so I've never had the opportunity to hear much about it. But, to me, this story sounds like another horror story made up to make kids listen to their parents, "If you're a bad kid, the Jersey Devil will get you." I've always loved stories of superstition like this. Although they are a little bit like the original "Fairy Tales" like the original Grimm Brother's writings, they are enjoyable. My one hope though, is that one day people will understand the different sects of Witchcraft and know that not all of us are bad.

Intro Blog

Well, I decided to start this blog because I had been running a website called The Witches' Community. I got frustrated because I wanted it to help other Wiccans/Pagans and be a place where they could get together, chat, hang out, and so on. After several months of moving the old site to a newer place that I liked much better and thought others would agree, I only have around 10-12 members and the last login that wasn't me was a week ago. So I'm leaving the site up to be fair to the other members that may or may not show up to it but I think from now on I'm just going to focus on my blog. At least then I'll be doing something helpful for me and not stressing out about whether or not someone is reading this.



So since this is supposed to be an introduction blog I guess I need to tell you guys a little bit about myself. I'm a 21 year old eclectic solitary Pagan. I've been studying Wicca for about 6 years now and I really enjoy and am most comfortable with my new religion. And in ways it is still very new to me... I have a hard time remembering certain things and you would think after 6 years I would be able to remember certain things but alas I still have to check my books every now and then. It doesn't bother me that much though, I usually just follow the Rede and just do whatever feels right to me. Even if I do a ritual and later realize I did some things backwards as compared to some people's formats, I still get things accomplished and usually just as well as any of my other friends that follow a more strict format. I'm a college student about to transfer to a University here in Texas and am currently majoring in Agriculture but when I get to my new University I'll be studying Animal Production and Pre-Vet. I guess you could say I'm a big time country girl. I love wearing my boots (which I need to replace because they are falling apart), driving around in my '95 Dodge pickup, listening to Texas Country, Nashville Country, Rock, Alternative, Classic Rock, and a couple other genres.



One thing I guess I need to tell y'all is that I have a brain and I use it. I'm opinionated and I don't mind sharing my opinions. On here I'll be more open about it than I would in public because when you're in public you need to show a little tact and be polite but here online I'm going to tell you exactly what I think, just like I would if you were one of my close friends, and believe me some of my close friends have sat through rants where they weren't even sure if I was mad at them or just the situation in general... So here's the Surgeon General's Warning on this blog, if you want something candy-coated and "sweet" go somewhere else. If however, you like a straightforward person who will listen to your opinions and share theirs then by all means stick around. Don't however, email me and try to start a fight or something to that extent, you will only be ignored. I'm not saying I'm not open minded or that I'm not open to other people's opinions; on the contrary, I've been known to allow other's opinions to sway my own at times, and I'm always more than willing to listen to someone else's take on things. But I won't pointlessly fight with you over something I feel strongly about. I respect you're view on it, and if we happen to have opposing ideas on it well so be it.



So that's my introduction. In this blog I will share what I've learned, my experiences thus far, and my experiences as a college witch living in the dorms (at least in August and later). At times what I have to say will be funny, at times sad, and other times scary or somewhere in between, but that's life right? Seeing as how I look at this blog as sort of a personal type of journal I will be sharing great parts of my life with you. So I hope you come along for the ride and I hope you enjoy what you read here. If on the other hand I happen to get no readers, oh well, I can still use this blog as a journal. So come along for a wild ride with me as a Witch in college!