3/08/2010

Self Empowering Modays: Debut Post

After writing my post about confidence and magick, I decided there was no way that I could include all the techniques for boosting confidence that I wanted to talk about in one post. So, at first I thought about doing a month long or week long confidence theme, and although I am still considering that, I thought Self Empowering Mondays sounded like a better idea because then I could do one technique for each week, giving everyone a chance to work with it for a week before moving on to the next one. So, I hope you guys will join me every Monday for Self Empowering Mondays and leave lots of comments!

For the debut, I want to talk about self-destructive thoughts, and give you guys a couple of positive affirmations to use this week. The first step in any journey for change is always changing the way you think, so let's start this journey by changing those negative thoughts into positive ones!

Everyone has negative/self-destructive thoughts. Even the most confident people will question themselves; however, these questions become destructive when they become facts in your own mind. Thoughts like "I am stupid," "I am ugly," "I am fat," "People hate me," "I'm unlovable," or "I'm incapable of everything," are all self-destructive thoughts. They latch on and dig in like cancer, and like cancer, they multiply and take over your entire being, until you become depressed, possibly hateful (toward yourself and/or others), and almost reclusive.

Many times in the past, I found myself saying things like, "I can't do that because someone will make fun of me because I'm ugly/stupid/fat," and it didn't matter how many people told me otherwise, they couldn't make me believe that I was not stupid or ugly or fat. I had to believe it for myself before I could believe anyone else. Eventually I grew tired of not being part of the crowd, of hiding at home when I really wanted to be having fun and meeting people like all the other people my age.

I bought millions of self-help books thinking I could find an instant cure in one of them. None of them helped, but only because I didn't want to do the work. I wanted to open one of them and instantly be changed. Once I finally realized that the answer came from inside me, I realized that I had the power to change my life. Once you realize that you are in control, and contrary to what you believed, the universe really isn't out to get you, you begin feeling a little more empowered; you're ready to start testing the waters.

As I mentioned, the first step on this journey is changing the way you think. One of the best things I've found to reprogram your thoughts is the use of positive affirmations. You're probably used to those negative affirmations such as, "I am ugly, fat, and stupid, and I have no friends," but we've got to reprogram them so that they empower you instead of beat you down. Instead of the negative affirmations, try changing them up by telling yourself, "I am beautiful, smart, and lovable. I have many friends. I am loved." Even if you don't really believe it at first, just keep telling yourself that you are beautiful, smart, and loved. This will probably be the hardest part of the journey because a mental battle will be surging, but remember, everything that is good is worth fighting for, and you my friend are worth fighting for.

This week, start out by writing your own positive affirmation and repeating it over and over in your mind while you are going to sleep. Each morning, when you wake up, tell yourself that today is going to be a good day. During the day, when those negative thoughts pop up, stop them in their tracks and replace them with a positive thought. Try this for this first week and watch as things start to change. Many people may expect you to be many things, but I want you to be empowered!

5 comments:

Mama Feoneafey said...

Very awesome article!
This type of self empowerment is one of the hardest. I have a disability. I wasn't always as I am now. I use to hike , fish, garden avidly, belly dance and all sorts of stuff. Then suddenly life changed in a blink of an eye and I "thought" I couldn't do those things any more. I know different now. I do all most all of those things now, just in a different way than others and before ... but learning that people weren't going to make fun of me for my differences and that they didn't see the negative things I "thought" were all that I was, was the hardest part of reclaiming my self.
Thank you so much for reminding me the importance of reaffirming these positive thought! Blessing to Ya !

MarZel said...

As you think, so you are!! I love postive affirmations... great article!

SpiritPhoenix said...

Great post! I need to work on this!

Dirgesinger said...

True! You cannot spare fighting and cannot spare pain on this journey. I am a goth for more than 12 years now, and it was a really hard way to get myself accepted (which is not done by many people still, but now I don't care). The hardest part was that those people detested me the most who should have been the closest to me (parents,friends), and I did not have any like-minded friends. You know the stuff - they thought I am drinking children blood, am a satanist blah blah (none of which I do, of course). And after many years of being called ugly, etc etc... I absolutely believed it.

I do not know when or how it was changed but I remember the battles I had to fight with myself to say one day: Do I love the way I am? Yes I do, and I did even when they called me names, soooo I am me and I love my shadowy ways and therefore no opinions are relevant that think of me otherwise.
Now I am living along these thoughts I fought for myself, and I am happy this way:)

Bridgett said...

You're a wise, wise girl!