12/02/2010

Sometimes You Just Have To Say Goodbye

The boyfriend and I broke up tonight. I'm actually fine with that because I was getting quite sick of his bs. Apparently he can't understand normal conversations. Obviously I'm not that hard to understand or I wouldn't have a blog, much less any followers, but he was always telling me he couldn't understand me. But before I go into my rant and the childish things he said to me, let me give you guys a little bit of a background first because I know I've been gone for a while and haven't updated things like I should.

After dating for two months I decided to take the boyfriend to meet my parents. He agreed and I was so excited. I hadn't seen Mom in a while and I'm always glad to see Daddy. So the day before we had decided to head down there I tell him I would like to leave at noon on Thursday (Thanksgiving day) and he basically ignores me. So I leave it alone for a little while and then he blurts out as he's leaving that he isn't leaving at noon. So I'm like "Um what do you mean by that? You're not coming or you don't want to leave at noon?" He says he doesn't want to leave at noon because he's going to see his parents. Of course this is news to me because he never mentioned that he was going to see his parents before then. Then he fights with me telling me he had told me already and I know he didn't. My memory isn't that bad. So I let it slide and of course I was angry about it, but at least I was getting to see my parents so nothing else matter.

Then we get down to my parents house and he doesn't speak to my parents at all. He sat on their recliner and didn't speak. Then my ex showed up at my mom's house and the boyfriend decided to get into a fight with me because I said he didn't drink much. Apparently he thought I was talking down to him when in reality I value someone who doesn't drink a lot because my real dad was an alcoholic. So I was ticked that we'd fought at my parents and that he was being dumb and not understanding my normal tone of voice. I've been through a lot of therapy, etc., so I know how to use my tones. After we spoke about it, he said he would try to understand better. We get back home and he knew I had to go back down to Mom's for an appointment I have on Friday so he said he would stay and spend a lot of time with me and help me clean and all that. By today he still hadn't come by, not even on his lunch breaks, so I couldn't figure out what was going on, but it was the same way as it was last month when he decided to break up with me.

So I decided to ask him why he wasn't coming to see me and he said he needed space. He said he would probably be staying to himself for a while and I asked him why and that's when he got hateful with me. He told me that when he met my ex he could see that we still loved each other and there was no reason for him to be in my life. He said he thought I was going to run away with my ex and never come home, then he told me that I was free to find as many guys as I wanted to be a whore with. He called my mom a bitch and said she was rude to him the whole time he was down there and Mom actually made fudge just for him. Mom tried her best to make him feel accepted. The problem is the boyfriend is so paranoid that he thinks everyone is out to get him so he doesn't know how to accept true hospitality. I got ticked and yelled and screamed at him and gave him a true taste of what it's like for me to talk down to him and to be pissed at him and to shove him out of my life. I probably would have been ok with him talking crap about me, but dragging my mom into it pissed me off. I told him if he couldn't accept my family there was no place for him in my life because unlike him they will always be there for me. Then he told me I could burn in hell, and I told him to go ef himself and hung up on him.

There's always an ending to everything. I just don't know what kind of lesson I was supposed to learn from this stupid relationship. I've always tried to look at every relationship and see what I did wrong and how I could better myself, but I was always supportive of him, I always tried to compromise and talk things through with him, and I pretty much constantly told him I loved him. I can't figure out anything else I could have done. But to be honest, I'm glad to be free of him. He didn't grasp half of our conversations and he was 28 years old. Sometimes I felt like I was talking to a child because of how much I had to break down almost every word I said for him to understand what the hell I was talking about. Now I'm free to find an intelligent man (who is taller than me and at least takes care of their teeth), or to be single and do whatever I want.

12 comments:

Dirgesinger said...

Reading this story, I think its better to be alone than being with a man like this:) I am sure there is a lesson somewhere and Youz will find out soon. But I am glad You are out of it and free - what a dork to call You a whore and Your mum a bitch! grrrr...

Diandra said...

That's a sad thing to hear. But sometimes we need the crappy relationships to find out what we're willing to put up with. (Like the ex boyfriend, who broke up with me and then we got together again and then he told me he wanted to perform an exorcism on me and then I threw him out. *g*)

BoondockWitch said...

Sounds like your better without. be strong, never apologize and never be compromised for who you are! i understand full well what its like for people to try to guilt their way into changing you. I know full well that people walk away with out the maturity it takes to break it. When a heart breaks it never breaks even. its good you feel so free to rant it out! no worries! We have all been there. You are a level headed woman and its refreshing to see such strength!

Aine O'Brien said...

Well, it appears you made the right decision. Not liking your family (in a very obvious way) is a warning sign. I think you will look back and breath a sigh of relief.

Broomsticks and cauldrons said...

BOy can i ever relate!!! We should join up for beers and bitch freely about these losers. I am glad to be rid of a jerk in my life too. I have a problem with a man not treating me with a certain level of respect. I won't mention his name but suffice to say, he only cared about sex. That's it. He was over a few times and I thought or I hoped it could be a serious relationship since we had so much in common and have a good chemistry together. But some men just don't know what they got. He's an idiot. I got mad at him because he stopped calling so often and never came over and never even talked to me on Facebook. He only did when I was mad because he was so cold and distant. So we worked it out and I thought things were better. Then I wait and wait and wait. I went away for the weekend and he emailed me. He always is saying I set him on fire and I drive him crazy. So where is he? Liar. He is seeing someone else. He says he has no time now. Liar. A guy really cares, he will make the effort. I have never met his parents but he has met my Mother. He lives in his parents basement. I emailed him explaining how I felt. Not a word from him. What a disgusting way to be treated. I won't tolerate just being used for sex. He needs a big inflatable doll. He didn't really want to see me then. I have been treated better than this.

I am happier on my own. It really doesn't bother me. I like to do what I want and not be bothered. How many other women can relate to that??

Wishing you luck,
Heddy

SushiQ said...

Just sending some smiles your way, Willow! You're free!Being single is the best way to find out about yourself. It sounds like this guy wasn't letting you do that, so good for you! Enjoy your Maiden-ness!

SpiritPhoenix said...

Sounds like you're better off. Glad you see it that way. Plus, I got "red lights and warning bells" in my head with the things you wrote. Him being all paranoid about your ex, him demeaning your Mom. It sounds to me like he wouldn't be happy until he had you all to himself.

It sounds like he's got major issues and it's better that he deal with them himself.

Good for you! You'll find a good man, I just know it. And maybe you won't see what you needed to learn from this for a while. Eventually, you will. Plus, sometimes, a relationship is just to show you what you don't want/need.

Hope you have a wonderful evening! And maybe this weekend, you should kick up your heels and go out to celebrate!

Linda Henderson said...

The lesson you should learn from this relationship is you are worth more than that. Number one, you should never look to see what YOU did wrong. Look to see where the relationship went wrong, but don't automatically look for error on your part. Some men never grow up, I know, I was married to one. Find someone that will treat you like the treasure you are. Have a wonderful holiday season.

Miss Sugar said...

I'm sorry you had to go through this but glad that it was sooner rather than later.

If I were to guess about a lesson it would be more along the lines of learning who will be a good match for you and who do for you as much if not more as you do for him.

Leeanna said...

I read this post and said to myself, girlfriend you don't need a loser in your life. You need someone who is more mature and open minded. I am so glad he is no longer around you. I was so worried for you safety when I read how he was.

huntressofnostalgia said...

Sounds like a DUMB A**! Believe me, if they don't like your family, they never will. That sitting in the recliner and not saying a word to your family bs....My husband pulls it ALL the time. I'd just forget about him. Also being with someone who is not as smart as you leaves much to be desired. You can't even reason with them because they're too stupid to grasp logic. By the way I love your new button. I'm adding it to my blog now.

Nydia said...

I'm sorry about your break up, Willow, but you're better now! Time helps healing everything, no matter how hard it seems. I'm sure you'll find someone sweet and loving in the right time, you just deserve the best.

Kisses and love from us.