Today's Guest poster is Domesticated Gypsy aka Kristina of Domesticated Gypsy.
This is my story of welcoming the God into my life.
I was raised in a patriarchal religion, and surrounded by families and friends who belonged to the same faith, essentially making all my associations dominated or overshadowed by men in charge. These men were not always judicious in their control and power, but even though many of them were, I still found myself lacking that strong female presence in my life. I was not close to my mother as a child either. These factors all had many lasting affects on me. Having a sour taste for organized religion was one, and having a sour taste for men in power was another. Eventually, I moved away from my faith, and for a time from my family and most of the relationships I had growing up.
I found myself floundering, needing to find something to believe in. It was during this time that I really discovered myself, and that the Goddess found me. Strangely enough, she found me through a series of fiction novels about teenage vampires! (Not Twilight lol) I suddenly connected with a strong loving female who granted love and acceptance with no judging, guilt, or expectations! I have connected on a deep level with a spirituality that surrounds and embraces me! I embraced Wicca and the Goddess with wild abandon, and left the memories and faith of my youth behind. I never put a specific name to it, but my beliefs bordered on Dianic, with the almost complete exclusion of the God, or any masculine influence. I connected deeply with Aphrodite, Isis, Persephone, Nyx, Epona, Athena, and so on. I felt nothing whatsoever for Pan, Thor, Cernunos, or any other faces of the God. I could not make the connection with Him like I could with Her.
As I have matured, and lived through my experiences the last few years, I find myself at another turning point. This year, this Spring, I am reawakening a part of myself that I had let go of. I sloughed off an unhealthy relationship, and focused my year on discovering who I am. Through this process I've discovered that I feel a certain longing now that I have struggled to define. When Willow mentioned that she wanted to have a “Welcoming the God” blog party, it struck a chord deep inside me. I now know what it is that I am longing for. I am lacking a duality in my life. I need the influence of a Goddess and a God. I need to know the love of a father who always accepts and cares, the tenderness and of a companion who always adores, and the innocence and playfulness of a young adoring man as well as the three faces I already know so well of my Goddess. So this Spring, I am welcoming the God back into my life, and I hope you will welcome him into yours!