Angry At Myself

So, I'm currently feeling a little down and a little angry with myself. I am my own worst enemy if you really want to know the truth. Tonight I realized I am not going to be able to handle two literature classes, especially since they are back to back in the same room but with two different teachers on the same days. So I decided to drop the earliest one. I can always retake it next semester. However, now that I've submitted the drop form, I feel a little bit like a failure. If I was just a little harder on myself when it came to doing the readings and not going to sleep so late and maybe taking my sleeping pills when my insomnia would hit, I might not have fallen behind.

Now I'm angry with myself because I fell so far behind I couldn't take the first test. I don't know if you've ever tried to take two literature classes back to back but I know I had problems with the assigned stories blending together until they just didn't make any sense to me. I would have to read one story for the class at 10 am and another story for the class at 11 am and sometimes I had more than one reading to do and they just blended together to the point where I couldn't separate them for the classes.

So now that I've dropped the class I only have one literature class, one writing class, and a psychology class that is three hours long each time we go to class. Goddess, please don't let me have made the wrong choice.


Mother's Moon's Message said...

sounds to me like you are being hard on yourself... you should do your best yet sometimes that means not loading yourself down so much. Take a deep breath and go on... the choice has been made... Who knows there may have been more of a reason then you have yet realized as to why you needed to drop that class.... Too many time we don't give credit to our intuition and the little inner voice that may be telling us something we need... blessings to you.... enjoy your day

Willow Silverhorse said...

Thank you ... I really appreciate that :D

Hoi Sum said...

Hi Willow,
Thank you so much for following my blog! You are definitely being too hard on yourself! I know the feeling though I am a perfectionist and OCD. Just remember to celebrate your successes and hard work even if they seem small. I pushed myself very hard in school and although it seemed like it would never end it finally did. I was proud of myself in the end when I realized despite all the trials I ended up being the first college graduate in my family and not just a college graduate, but a Graduate school graduate as well. I know you can do it Willow just trust yourself!