Missing That Jolly Halloween Feeling

It's October 24th, as I'm sure you well know, exactly 7 days from Halloween, and it is as hot as July here in Texas. Most of you know that Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday of the entire year, but I have to admit, I'm just not in my jolly Halloween mood this year. I'm sure the stress of school, moving, and so forth is part of it, and I dearly miss the excitement I usually feel around this time of year. I miss being excited about going to the silly haunted houses that are supposed to scare you, but are more of just a laugh instead. I miss getting excited about finding that perfect Halloween costume, decorating the house, handing out candy to the trick or treaters, and of course, the Samhain ritual.

I'm having problems at the trailer park my little house is in right now. I've had to bring my dog to my mom's so she will be safe from the jerks that run the park. Some electric company worker tried to mace her the other day and now I've been told my dog has to leave the park, even though she wasn't in the wrong. Admittedly I lost my temper. I told them some very unladylike things, and informed them that they had lost business. I will be finished with school next Tuesday, and I'm praying the gods bless me enough to find a house moving company that will be able to move my house that week, at an affordable price. I was going to be moving back down to the town my mom lives in after I finished school, just not so soon. I was going to wait and get all of my state tests for my license out of the way first ... Now it looks like I'll be scheduling the written test and taking it here, then I'll schedule my practical and just drive to Amarillo to study for it and take it.

I'm looking forward to getting out of that city. As the name of my blog implies, I am a country girl, and living in that city is wearing me thin. I feel like there is nowhere for me to get away from everything. I'm surrounded and can't find room to breathe. People have asked me before if I'd ever tried living in a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas. My response has always been: "I know I wouldn't be able to permanently survive there." Sure I could handle it on a temporary basis, and I might even enjoy it for a very short amount of time, but eventually I would miss the solitude of the country. I would miss being able to go out on my porch and look at the stars, or stepping out my back door and watching deer walk around. I'm just not built to live in the city. Yes, I get tired of small towns at times because it can be smothering having everyone and their mama knowing your business, but you sure can't beat the hospitality in a small town. Even if they know all your business, if you've fallen on hard times, everyone in a small town will offer a helping hand in one way or another.

I just keep worrying about everything. I want everything to go good with school so I can finish up and get away. I want things to go the way I want them to when it comes to finding a house moving service, and I just want everything to go right. I'm nervous and worried about everything, and to top it off, my precious dog has to stay with my mom while I finish school and get the house moved because of a bunch of crap at the rv park my house is in. I can't stand that park, but I think I've done that rant on here. I hate having to be without my dog. It's like leaving my daughter with my mom. I know she'll be fine, but I don't want to have to live without her either. Who is going to snuggle with me at night? Who is going to greet me when I get home from school? Yes I have a new puppy named Lily Munster, but its not the same. I've raised Princess since she was 6 weeks old and she's now a little over a year. It's hard to be without her. I'm just praying, everyday, that things work out smoothly. Please keep that in your prayers, thoughts, and/or energy works, if you think about it. Thanks for listening, again.


Aine said...

I've had times like this - and they suck. The first thing that seems to go during these times are all the things you enjoy. Don't worry - they will come back and you'll appreciate them even more.

I know what you mean about the city - some people are city people but some are not. I love love love living in a small town now. I've never liked city life. I feel at home now and even though I still have worries, I am happier.

Try to let go of worries as thoughts are things, and I could tell you to trust, but I know that's hard. What I do when I start worrying is just put it off, and decide to deal with whatever if and when it happens. I'm lazy like that - but it allows me to sleep.

Deborah Castellano said...

1. I have you in my thoughts, what an awful situation :(

2. I love the civil wars too! I'm supposed to be going to their show tonight but I've been working so much OT I can hardly see straight.

3. I'm not in the holiday spirit either. I posted about it on Lyn's blog as a guest (but also on my blog). "Because Death Is Just so Full and I'm Sick of It This Samhain" sums it up.

4. Possibly it may cheer you up a little to poke around Sleep No More's website because it's an amazing spooky interactive show happening in NYC. http://www.sleepnomorenyc.com