1/14/2011

Friday Confessions: Confession #1

I've sat and thought long and hard about what I wanted to share with you guys as my first confession. A billion thoughts streamed through my head; should it be something huge, something small and build up to bigger things? Oh my cracker, what if I don't do something good enough and everyone gets bored and decides to never read my blog again, especially after me being a jerk yesterday? I finally settled on sharing the two biggest oddities in my personality.

Oddity number one: I am extremely socially awkward. I may sound eloquent or witty when you read my writing, but in real life I have a hard time speaking to people. I love to meet new people and I like to have good conversations, but I have a really hard time with it. The issues I have may not be visible because a long time ago I trained my face to only show what I wanted it to show (I'll tell you why in a later confession) but inside of my crazy head I have a helmet on and am rocking back and forth. This oddity annoys me to no end. I wish I could be more relaxed when meeting new people and not so stressed out about it.

This brings me to oddity number two: I over analyze EVERYTHING, to the extent that I break down every sentence I've said to make sure it is grammatically correct. I have literally over thought stirring a pot of spaghetti noodles. I take every action, every word, every facial movement, every laugh, and hold it under my mental microscope for inspection. I try to look at it from every angle possible and consider every reaction other people might have to the tiniest thing. Unfortunately I do it after the matter is over. I'll sit up until 5 a.m. analyzing everything I did the previous day. I lay in bed and beg my mind to SHUT UP just so I can get some sleep. If I have to over think everything I wish I could retrain my brain to be like my first love. He also over thinks everything but he does it every second of every day rather than when he's trying to fall asleep at the end of the day.

Anyway, those are my two biggest oddities in my personal opinion. Maybe not the most shocking confession ever, but I hope this gives you a little better understanding of me. After all, that's what these confessions are about, giving people a VIP pass to the dark recesses of my mind. If you would like to share a confession please feel free to leave one in the comments. I want Friday Confessions to be about sharing.

5 comments:

SpiritPhoenix said...

I think back on conversations I've had with people and wonder if I should have said that, or done that. But for a confession...I don't like turtlenecks, tight necklaces, or scarves because I feel like they're choking me. Or that they will get caught on something and choke me. Strange, I guess. Especially since I didn't use to feel this way.

Willow Silverhorse said...

I've had that same problem with turtlenecks and necklaces. I used to be so afraid of choking. Now I love wearing necklaces and don't have as many problems with it now as I did. It's not all that strange, a lot of people have an unconscious fear of choking. Thank you for sharing your confession :D

TwistedTruth said...

My confession is a bit personal, since you don't know me.

But I am more terrified of dating someone than I am of having sex with them. I'm afraid of falling for someone who just wants my body.

Kally83 said...

Sounds like we have a few things in common! I'm very awkward around ppl and overanalyze everything I say (actually I think I overanalyze life in general! LOL)
Hmmm...confession of my own....
I'm afraid of the dark...even at 27 I still need to sleep with some kind of light in the room (thankfully with my 7 mo old still in our room with us, I have a good excuse now LOL)

wiccanfriend said...

@Spirit Phoenix, I can totally relate as I tend to over-think conversations as well. If a conversation is too awkward, and I can't understand what happened, I may play it over in my head for years...

Willow, great post. Thanks for the confession =)