Hello partiers! I'm a little late to the party, but I needed time to figure out what I wanted to contribute to the party. I sat down today and started watching TV. ABCFamily is doing their 13 days of Halloween, and tonight they are playing Practical Magic. I haven't watched that movie since last year at this time of year, even though I own it. I've been questioning a lot of things this year, and watching that movie (as funny as it may sound), made a lot of things click for me. So, my contribution tonight is my rededication to my path.
When we dedicate ourselves to our path, we make a promise to whatever deity it is we worship, to stay on the path we are on, to continue learning, and to keep faith. After the rough times that have happened, and the mental turmoil I've dealt with, this seems like the perfect time to rededicate myself. So, to share this with you, I'll include the prayer I will say to rededicate myself, and my simple ritual.
I light a candle, and sit in an area that is private where I know I won't be disturbed. Then I stare at the flame until I reach a meditative state and ground and center myself. This is so I can fully feel the energies of the earth flowing through me. I will stay in this state for a while, until I feel totally and completely relaxed and open. Then, while I'm in my meditative state, I will welcome the God and Goddess. This is the time for me to discuss intimate things with them. I'll tell them my hopes and dreams, worries and fears, and just let everything go, so my mind can start as a clean slate. Then I will say this prayer:
God and Goddess, hear me, your daughter Willow.
This has been a long year, and I have strayed from my path a few times.
On this Samhain eve, the time for endings and new beginnings,
I rededicate myself to you and to my chosen path.
Bless me and hold me close, be with me as I walk the winding path of the craft.
So mote it be.
After the prayer, I will come out of my meditative state and drink something sweet and eat something salty to help bring me back to earth. The feeling a person gets after a dedication ceremony is the most wonderful you can ever feel. No matter what religion you are, if you truly believe in what you are doing it will lift every worry, erase every stress, and make you feel whole and new again. Thanks for stopping by for the party! For more party fun click here or here to go back to the list of partiers!
10/30/2011
10/28/2011
I've Got News!
I found a new witchy friend! I've actually gone to school with her for a while, and we've been talking and hanging out for a while. I just found out today that she is Wiccan. Out of respect for her, I'm not going to say her name, but I was so excited when I just decided to ask her what religion she was and she told me Wiccan! So exciting! I've had a couple of witchy friends before. One that I met was from Virginia. We'd gone to school together at SPC. Her energy was wacky and weird. You know when you feel someone's energy is off, like they've got a major mental illness, or some sort of weird sickness? That's how she felt to me. I'm not talking about her being bipolar or something like that, I mean some sort of major mental illness. Our energies didn't meld well together, and she had some beliefs that were opposing to mine. She was also the kind of person that played "Poor pitiful me, everyone treats me wrong, I need things handed to me, etc., etc., etc." Needless to say, that friendship didn't end well. Then there was Ari's mom. I loved her, and loved spending time talking to her, learning from her, but Ari was so jealous of us getting close. So, that friendship didn't work out either because her weird, jealous daughter couldn't stand the idea of anyone else getting close to her friends. So I am excited to have met a friend that is as normal as I get.
Okay, off that subject and on to the next one. I said goodbye to my favorite client today. Unfortunately, today was the last day that I got to work on her at the school. I'll be moving 2 hours away after I finish school, or I have a sneaking suspicion that she would have followed me. I knew before hand that this would be our last appointment, so I made a small gift bag for her, as a thank you for everything she did for me, known and unknown. She was the client I looked forward to every week. No matter what was going on in my life at the time, she always somehow made it better. I cannot describe the wonderful bond we had, but I will say that after she got in her truck to leave, I snuck off to a hiding place and cried. I'm going to miss her so much. Saying goodbye to her was so hard. I know I can't just stay on at the school forever and ever just because of my one favorite client, but I wish things had worked out to where I could still see her after graduating.
Anyway, I'm still waiting on my little brother and my friend to show up. My friend apparently thinks it's okay to wait until the absolute last minute to show up tonight, but I have to get to school early tomorrow since I'm completely booked with it being my next to last day. I will not be staying up late tonight, and if I get woke up by my little brother and friend coming in late tonight someone will get words they don't want to hear thrown at them. So yeah, there's what's going on in my life now. Light, love, and brightest blessings!
Also, I forgot to mention it, but I will be changing the url to the blog soon. I'll post a countdown to the day of the change on the sidebar, and I'll update the html for my button. When the url change happens, please be sure to grab a new button so the html will be correct and will send readers to the correct page.
Okay, off that subject and on to the next one. I said goodbye to my favorite client today. Unfortunately, today was the last day that I got to work on her at the school. I'll be moving 2 hours away after I finish school, or I have a sneaking suspicion that she would have followed me. I knew before hand that this would be our last appointment, so I made a small gift bag for her, as a thank you for everything she did for me, known and unknown. She was the client I looked forward to every week. No matter what was going on in my life at the time, she always somehow made it better. I cannot describe the wonderful bond we had, but I will say that after she got in her truck to leave, I snuck off to a hiding place and cried. I'm going to miss her so much. Saying goodbye to her was so hard. I know I can't just stay on at the school forever and ever just because of my one favorite client, but I wish things had worked out to where I could still see her after graduating.
Anyway, I'm still waiting on my little brother and my friend to show up. My friend apparently thinks it's okay to wait until the absolute last minute to show up tonight, but I have to get to school early tomorrow since I'm completely booked with it being my next to last day. I will not be staying up late tonight, and if I get woke up by my little brother and friend coming in late tonight someone will get words they don't want to hear thrown at them. So yeah, there's what's going on in my life now. Light, love, and brightest blessings!
Also, I forgot to mention it, but I will be changing the url to the blog soon. I'll post a countdown to the day of the change on the sidebar, and I'll update the html for my button. When the url change happens, please be sure to grab a new button so the html will be correct and will send readers to the correct page.
10/27/2011
I Graduated Today!
Well not totally. I still have to complete a few hours. I'll be 100% done on Tuesday, but we had our graduation ceremony today. I was informed last minute that I would be included in the graduation ceremony so Mom wasn't able to come since the ceremony was today and I was told today that I would be part of it. At 3:45 I was still dressed in my school uniform which is all black with a hideous black apron, when I noticed that all the other people graduating today were dressed in nicer clothes. I went out to my truck praying I had a nice top that was clean stashed in there somewhere and quickly changed and took my hat off and my hair out of my ponytail. My friend Dana and her son and boyfriend were the only ones able to come last minute. I, of course, was the only one that was informed last minute, so everyone else had family there.
I was the first one called, and I felt like they were trying to make it seem like, "Oh look at that poor little girl, she has no one here for her, she had a lot of obstacles to overcome to finish school, oh that poor baby." I was very angry that I wasn't even given a chance to inform my family so they could be there for me, and I hated feeling like a charity case when the owner of the school told everyone about how I had a lot of things to get through to get here and so on. I was pissed that my mom couldn't be there and I was vaguely alone. On top of that, the closer I get to being completely finished the more I realize Gram isn't here to watch me finish or to be my state board model. I'm glad to be holding my diploma, but I wish they hadn't made me their charity case. I'm not a charity case. When I started the course I paid for it in full without the help or benefit of financial aid, I supplied my own supplies all throughout school, and my parents have helped by supplying gas money, lunch money, and so much more. I am no one's charity case.
I was extremely disappointed that none of my family could come because the school short changed me again. I had teachers take pictures and text them to me just so I could send them to Mom. Crystal, my nail tech teacher, asked if I wanted anyone to come or anyone there. Of course I did, but because they decided to tell me I would be part of the ceremony on the day of the ceremony, none of my people were able to come. My parents have jobs. They can't just leave at the drop of a hat. It was just a bullshit day altogether, but I'm glad that I hit that milestone. Now I've got tomorrow, Saturday, and Tuesday left and I'll be completely finished.
On a different note, the moving service was paid today. They'll be out as scheduled on Tuesday to move my house. The city of Whiteface has been working on prepping my land for my house, and my little brother and friend will be here tomorrow evening to help me pack my house and load up all my stuff and Saturday evening we will all drive back down to my mom's and wait for the movers to get my house there. Monday I will sign the paperwork on my land and officially be a land owner. Monday evening I'll drive back to Amarillo, stay with Dana, go to school for the last time on Tuesday then go back to Mom's. So that's everything that's going on. I need to find the serial number for my house so I can complete the paperwork for the movers so I can fax it to them tomorrow and clean a little at my house before my little brother and friend get here tomorrow so I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Blessings, light and love.
I was the first one called, and I felt like they were trying to make it seem like, "Oh look at that poor little girl, she has no one here for her, she had a lot of obstacles to overcome to finish school, oh that poor baby." I was very angry that I wasn't even given a chance to inform my family so they could be there for me, and I hated feeling like a charity case when the owner of the school told everyone about how I had a lot of things to get through to get here and so on. I was pissed that my mom couldn't be there and I was vaguely alone. On top of that, the closer I get to being completely finished the more I realize Gram isn't here to watch me finish or to be my state board model. I'm glad to be holding my diploma, but I wish they hadn't made me their charity case. I'm not a charity case. When I started the course I paid for it in full without the help or benefit of financial aid, I supplied my own supplies all throughout school, and my parents have helped by supplying gas money, lunch money, and so much more. I am no one's charity case.
I was extremely disappointed that none of my family could come because the school short changed me again. I had teachers take pictures and text them to me just so I could send them to Mom. Crystal, my nail tech teacher, asked if I wanted anyone to come or anyone there. Of course I did, but because they decided to tell me I would be part of the ceremony on the day of the ceremony, none of my people were able to come. My parents have jobs. They can't just leave at the drop of a hat. It was just a bullshit day altogether, but I'm glad that I hit that milestone. Now I've got tomorrow, Saturday, and Tuesday left and I'll be completely finished.
On a different note, the moving service was paid today. They'll be out as scheduled on Tuesday to move my house. The city of Whiteface has been working on prepping my land for my house, and my little brother and friend will be here tomorrow evening to help me pack my house and load up all my stuff and Saturday evening we will all drive back down to my mom's and wait for the movers to get my house there. Monday I will sign the paperwork on my land and officially be a land owner. Monday evening I'll drive back to Amarillo, stay with Dana, go to school for the last time on Tuesday then go back to Mom's. So that's everything that's going on. I need to find the serial number for my house so I can complete the paperwork for the movers so I can fax it to them tomorrow and clean a little at my house before my little brother and friend get here tomorrow so I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Blessings, light and love.
10/26/2011
Commitment: A Witchy Discussion
If you haven't heard, over at The Deepest Well, Aine is having a witchy conversation. It will be a week long on this topic, then she's got more topics to discuss with everyone. As she says, this is an interactive thing. You are welcome to comment here on my response to it, or go on over to The Deepest Well and contribute there. Click here to check out what all is going on, then click here to read more about this week's topic. This is my contribution to the topic.
Aine makes a really good point about when people come into this path, the path of the Pagan, they tend to mix things with their old religion. Guess what ... I am 100% guilty of this. For me, it isn't a problem with committing to my path; no, my problem is this: I came from a Catholic family, albeit an extremely lenient one (many of you know of how my mom bought my first book on witchcraft when I was fifteen), and while the Pagan path feels right to me, the Christian bible also has some good points. I personally do not believe in Hell, and I also have a hard time believing everything in the bible, but in the new testament, Jesus makes some very good points ... he seems almost Pagan to me GASP the horror! I, personally, have tried to meld the two together, because of the good points Jesus makes. In recent times, I've been trying to completely come to grips with my religious beliefs.
After Gram passed away last year, some of you may remember me questioning everything, my purpose, my religion, whether it was actually my religion that killed Gram, and everything under the sun. Even a year later, I still question those things, to a certain extent. Does this mean that I should abandon the Pagan path? No. Does this mean I have a lot of soul searching to do to find out exactly what feels right to me? Yes! Does this mean that I'm not committed? To a certain extent, yes it does mean I'm not committed, because I am trying to figure out what is right to me, but because I am committed to finding out what feels right, and because Paganism itself does feel right to me, means that I am committed, just searching again. Is there a person on this planet that every stops searching? No, because even if you are 100% comfortable in your religious choice, you'll still be searching for other things; education, like minded people, knowledge, truth; these are all things that we as human beings never stop searching for.
The problems I've had of late stem from me being lost and confused. Today, I realized that while I had been praying and reaching out, I wasn't allowing the gods complete access; I was holding them at arm's length. No one likes to be held at arm's length, and most especially the gods. I know if someone is holding me at arm's length, then turns around and asks me for help, I'll be rather hesitant to help them out. The same is true for the gods. Today, while I was driving to school, I completely opened myself up to the gods. I let them see every tiny worry, every tiny hope, everything inside my soul, and do you know what? That is the most peace I've felt in a long time. I felt the arms of the gods enfold me and hold me tight. I felt strength, hope, faith, and so many wonderful, unnamed feelings; so, I made a promise to myself which I discussed in a previous post, to get closer with the gods again. In life, there is an ebb and a flow to everything. There are times in our lives when we feel intensely connected to our religion and our maker, whatever or whoever we consider that maker to be, and then there are times in our lives when we are stressed and stretched thin, that we realize our relationship with that maker isn't as close as it used to be.
In Christianity, they tell us that when those times happen it is because we strayed, because we do not have enough faith. I distinctly remember having to take communion, as part of the Catholic church, and having to tell God that I wasn't pure enough, and then having to ask Him if he would say it was okay for me to take communion. "But only say the words and I shall be healed," still rings in my ears. I hated being told I wasn't good enough to take of his "only begotten son," and just hoping that God thought I was good enough to do so. As a child I had a secret fear that I would go up to the front of the church, receive my "holy host," and be struck down by lightning because God didn't think I was good enough. I hated the idea of a god that could look down on the people and things he had created and one day decide he hated them, then destroy them in a flood, except for his select few that he approved of, but then on the other hand, he was supposed to be an all loving, all forgiving god. I'm sorry, to me, if you woke up one day and decided you hated everything you created except for this one thing and destroyed it all, you'll do it again, and you're not that all loving or all forgiving. I hated being told that I was dirty, and not good enough, unless I came into confession and begged for forgiveness.
The allure of Paganism was this: from the first page of the first book that I ever read, I was told that I was just fine. There was no one to beg forgiveness from because there wasn't anything wrong with me, I was being a natural, normal human being. So I looked at a young man with longing last week ... in the church I would have to say a million hail mary's to be absolved of the sing, but in Paganism I was told it was okay, that human attraction was a natural part of living. I was finally released from the oppressiveness of the church and told that I was normal, and not fighting a losing battle against sin. Christianity teaches you that when you're relationship with God isn't as close as normal, you are doing something wrong, that you need to come back to the fold, beg forgiveness and let God take you "under His wing" again. Paganism teaches you that there is an ebb and flow to everything, including faith, and it's okay. The problem in Paganism is that you are 100% allowed to create your own path. There are certain guidelines here and there, but from one Pagan to the next there are many, many differences.
It can be hard going from a religion that has strict guidelines and rules, to one with loose rules, and slippery guidelines, to forge your own path. When settlers moved to the west, only the hardiest and most stubborn survived. Paganism makes me think of that. Only those of us hardy enough and stubborn enough to stick to what we truly believe, despite what the rest of society thinks, will stay on the path. My path is very curvy. On the one hand, I want to stay true to my religion, despite what others think, and I want to stay close to the gods and nature, but on the other hand, the pressure from the rest of society to be "normal" and to do the "Christian" thing can wear me down from time to time. I still own a bible, and still randomly glance in it, but I'm so torn inside when I open the bible that I close it again as soon as I open it. Christianity doesn't feel right to me, and it never will, but there's still that little voice in the back of my mind, drilled in there from years of catechisms, saying that it's the devil causing me to be this way. I can still hear Granddad telling me that because of my interest in paganism the devil killed Grandma ...
"The devil's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist," those words, spoken from my grandfather's mouth almost 3 days after Gram's funeral still in my ears, and I ask myself, is that really what's going on? Has the devil tricked me into believing that he's not real and leading me down a path that will end up burning me in more ways than one? Then I look at all the blessings in my life. I own my house, I have money put away to be able to support myself in school, pay for the things that randomly pop up in life, and open my own nail salon. I have a great family, good friends, food in the pantry, and toilet paper in the bathroom ... surely if it was the Christian devil, things wouldn't be going as great as they are. Then I look over the problems that are in my life ... the fact that I have to move my house because of this rv park, the stresses and worries, the issues at school. Usually, even if inadvertently, I create those problems for myself. I over think things and cause the worries I have on my mind to happen.
So, if I'm the one causing my own problems, there's no devil to blame, unless I'm the devil, and I'm fairly certain I'm not ... last time I checked I didn't have a pointed tail or horns, but let me check again just in case ... nope no tail, no horns. I fall off my Pagan path because I am a human and as such, I get other things on my mind and wander away from the path. It's not because I'm not committed, it's because even in my day to day life, I'm a gypsy, I wander and travel (even if only in my mind). It's part of my nature, so I occasionally wander away from my beliefs, but just like home, I always come back. Anyway, that's my response on the topic. Sorry it's so long lol. What about yall? Do any of you have a problem with wandering away from your chosen path?
Aine makes a really good point about when people come into this path, the path of the Pagan, they tend to mix things with their old religion. Guess what ... I am 100% guilty of this. For me, it isn't a problem with committing to my path; no, my problem is this: I came from a Catholic family, albeit an extremely lenient one (many of you know of how my mom bought my first book on witchcraft when I was fifteen), and while the Pagan path feels right to me, the Christian bible also has some good points. I personally do not believe in Hell, and I also have a hard time believing everything in the bible, but in the new testament, Jesus makes some very good points ... he seems almost Pagan to me GASP the horror! I, personally, have tried to meld the two together, because of the good points Jesus makes. In recent times, I've been trying to completely come to grips with my religious beliefs.
After Gram passed away last year, some of you may remember me questioning everything, my purpose, my religion, whether it was actually my religion that killed Gram, and everything under the sun. Even a year later, I still question those things, to a certain extent. Does this mean that I should abandon the Pagan path? No. Does this mean I have a lot of soul searching to do to find out exactly what feels right to me? Yes! Does this mean that I'm not committed? To a certain extent, yes it does mean I'm not committed, because I am trying to figure out what is right to me, but because I am committed to finding out what feels right, and because Paganism itself does feel right to me, means that I am committed, just searching again. Is there a person on this planet that every stops searching? No, because even if you are 100% comfortable in your religious choice, you'll still be searching for other things; education, like minded people, knowledge, truth; these are all things that we as human beings never stop searching for.
The problems I've had of late stem from me being lost and confused. Today, I realized that while I had been praying and reaching out, I wasn't allowing the gods complete access; I was holding them at arm's length. No one likes to be held at arm's length, and most especially the gods. I know if someone is holding me at arm's length, then turns around and asks me for help, I'll be rather hesitant to help them out. The same is true for the gods. Today, while I was driving to school, I completely opened myself up to the gods. I let them see every tiny worry, every tiny hope, everything inside my soul, and do you know what? That is the most peace I've felt in a long time. I felt the arms of the gods enfold me and hold me tight. I felt strength, hope, faith, and so many wonderful, unnamed feelings; so, I made a promise to myself which I discussed in a previous post, to get closer with the gods again. In life, there is an ebb and a flow to everything. There are times in our lives when we feel intensely connected to our religion and our maker, whatever or whoever we consider that maker to be, and then there are times in our lives when we are stressed and stretched thin, that we realize our relationship with that maker isn't as close as it used to be.
In Christianity, they tell us that when those times happen it is because we strayed, because we do not have enough faith. I distinctly remember having to take communion, as part of the Catholic church, and having to tell God that I wasn't pure enough, and then having to ask Him if he would say it was okay for me to take communion. "But only say the words and I shall be healed," still rings in my ears. I hated being told I wasn't good enough to take of his "only begotten son," and just hoping that God thought I was good enough to do so. As a child I had a secret fear that I would go up to the front of the church, receive my "holy host," and be struck down by lightning because God didn't think I was good enough. I hated the idea of a god that could look down on the people and things he had created and one day decide he hated them, then destroy them in a flood, except for his select few that he approved of, but then on the other hand, he was supposed to be an all loving, all forgiving god. I'm sorry, to me, if you woke up one day and decided you hated everything you created except for this one thing and destroyed it all, you'll do it again, and you're not that all loving or all forgiving. I hated being told that I was dirty, and not good enough, unless I came into confession and begged for forgiveness.
The allure of Paganism was this: from the first page of the first book that I ever read, I was told that I was just fine. There was no one to beg forgiveness from because there wasn't anything wrong with me, I was being a natural, normal human being. So I looked at a young man with longing last week ... in the church I would have to say a million hail mary's to be absolved of the sing, but in Paganism I was told it was okay, that human attraction was a natural part of living. I was finally released from the oppressiveness of the church and told that I was normal, and not fighting a losing battle against sin. Christianity teaches you that when you're relationship with God isn't as close as normal, you are doing something wrong, that you need to come back to the fold, beg forgiveness and let God take you "under His wing" again. Paganism teaches you that there is an ebb and flow to everything, including faith, and it's okay. The problem in Paganism is that you are 100% allowed to create your own path. There are certain guidelines here and there, but from one Pagan to the next there are many, many differences.
It can be hard going from a religion that has strict guidelines and rules, to one with loose rules, and slippery guidelines, to forge your own path. When settlers moved to the west, only the hardiest and most stubborn survived. Paganism makes me think of that. Only those of us hardy enough and stubborn enough to stick to what we truly believe, despite what the rest of society thinks, will stay on the path. My path is very curvy. On the one hand, I want to stay true to my religion, despite what others think, and I want to stay close to the gods and nature, but on the other hand, the pressure from the rest of society to be "normal" and to do the "Christian" thing can wear me down from time to time. I still own a bible, and still randomly glance in it, but I'm so torn inside when I open the bible that I close it again as soon as I open it. Christianity doesn't feel right to me, and it never will, but there's still that little voice in the back of my mind, drilled in there from years of catechisms, saying that it's the devil causing me to be this way. I can still hear Granddad telling me that because of my interest in paganism the devil killed Grandma ...
"The devil's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist," those words, spoken from my grandfather's mouth almost 3 days after Gram's funeral still in my ears, and I ask myself, is that really what's going on? Has the devil tricked me into believing that he's not real and leading me down a path that will end up burning me in more ways than one? Then I look at all the blessings in my life. I own my house, I have money put away to be able to support myself in school, pay for the things that randomly pop up in life, and open my own nail salon. I have a great family, good friends, food in the pantry, and toilet paper in the bathroom ... surely if it was the Christian devil, things wouldn't be going as great as they are. Then I look over the problems that are in my life ... the fact that I have to move my house because of this rv park, the stresses and worries, the issues at school. Usually, even if inadvertently, I create those problems for myself. I over think things and cause the worries I have on my mind to happen.
So, if I'm the one causing my own problems, there's no devil to blame, unless I'm the devil, and I'm fairly certain I'm not ... last time I checked I didn't have a pointed tail or horns, but let me check again just in case ... nope no tail, no horns. I fall off my Pagan path because I am a human and as such, I get other things on my mind and wander away from the path. It's not because I'm not committed, it's because even in my day to day life, I'm a gypsy, I wander and travel (even if only in my mind). It's part of my nature, so I occasionally wander away from my beliefs, but just like home, I always come back. Anyway, that's my response on the topic. Sorry it's so long lol. What about yall? Do any of you have a problem with wandering away from your chosen path?
Update: Missing That Jolly Halloween Feeling
Thank you to Aine and Deborah for their wonderful comments. They really made me feel better. I just thought I would take some time out to let you guys know everything that's going on. The last time I wrote, the rv park I live in was making me get rid of my dog. I took her to my mom's where she's safest, and told you guys that I am moving. I am still moving, but let me tell you what happened when I got back from Mom's house. I pulled into my driveway late at night, like 1 am, and find a note on my door stating that I have to get rid of my dog and that I have to move my house by November 1st at 11 am. I had never received a phone call in the 2 days that I was at my mom's and when the whole issue with my dog and the mace happy electric company worker happened, the main manager of the park didn't even handle his issues himself, he made some other person come up to my house and tell me my precious doggy had to leave. Then when I called the office he supposedly wasn't there, and I informed the person working the desk of what she could tell him. No it wasn't nice words.
Nothing ticks me off worse than a damn coward. If you don't have the guts to tell me this kind of stuff to my face, or even over the phone, you're gonna piss me off worse than I would be for you just telling me to leave. Be a man or woman and tell me in something more than just a little piece of paper. Heck yeah there are things in my life that I'd rather chew my foot off than do, but guess what ... we're grown ups and we have to put our big people undies on and deal with it. So yeah, I'm more than pissed at this horrible rv park, for more reasons than one. I think it's hilarious that they taped that piece of paper to my door saying I have to leave after I had informed them that they are the worst place to rent from on the planet and that they had lost business with me. Mike Marty is a yellow bellied cur and should be drug in the street and beat with a brand new rodeo rope.
However, despite my extreme anger at this horrible place, things are going wonderfully well. I called a house moving company, dreading what price they were going to quote me on moving my house well over 130 miles across Texas, and they were amazingly helpful, informative, and reasonable on price. You'll never guess the price they quoted me, so I'll just tell you ... $1,400. That includes moving it 130 miles across Texas and leveling it for me. I've praised the gods several times for that blessing, and Deborah, I'm going to thank you as well since you've been keeping me in your thoughts. I bought 4 city lots in Whiteface, where my mom lives, for $3,300, and I'll be moving my house there. Two of the lots are meant for my house, and the other two are meant for my nail salon. Blessing after blessing keeps coming my way, and I keep praising and thanking the gods for these amazing windfalls.
My little brother and a friend are coming up this weekend to help me disconnect the house from sewage, water, and electricity, and to pack, so it will be all ready to move on Tuesday when the moving company gets here. I'll leave Saturday evening and stay with Mom so I can sign all the paperwork needed for my lots and such on Monday, then Monday evening I'll come back up and stay with my friend Dana so I can finish up my last day in school on Tuesday, then it's back down to Whiteface to start the work on plumbing the lot my house will be sitting on so I can hook up my house. It seems like a whole lot of driving and a lot of work, but I'm so excited to get out of this town that the work seems like nothing. School's going a little better. I'm just so totally ready to be finished! I'm going to schedule my written exam as soon as I get my hours and just take it in Lubbock. Then when it comes time to take my practical Mom and I will drive up here to Amarillo for the test and go home afterwards. It will be at least a month or so before I can start working, and I'm looking forward to the down time. That gives me time to work on different techniques I've seen online and test a couple different products I'm interested in before swearing by them in the salon.
Things, so far, are going exactly according to plan. I'm counting my lucky stars and thanking everyone who has had me in their prayers, thoughts, energy workings, or whatever it is you beautiful darlings do. I've realized that although yes I'm having a lot of issues here in this city and I can't wait to get back to my small town America, but a lot of the stress is brought on because I haven't been centered or grounded. I've lost my connect with my Mother Earth. The energy in my home is discordant, my personal energy is twisted and obscured, and my mind is a bigger mess than 10 jigsaw puzzles thrown on the floor and mixed together. Today I made a conscious effort to center and ground myself while driving to school. It made a major difference. So, I am making a promise to myself ... I am going to wake up a little earlier the next few days so I can spend time centering and grounding myself every morning before school. In the afternoons I am going to try to scrape out some time to meditate, even if only for a few minutes. I miss meditating so much. Maybe once school is over I'll do a short segment on centering, grounding, and meditating. Maybe I'll start sharing my meditations again. We'll see on those, but I will keep you informed on the daily things I'll be doing the next few days. I love my amazing readers so much! You guys have been an amazing blessing as well.
Nothing ticks me off worse than a damn coward. If you don't have the guts to tell me this kind of stuff to my face, or even over the phone, you're gonna piss me off worse than I would be for you just telling me to leave. Be a man or woman and tell me in something more than just a little piece of paper. Heck yeah there are things in my life that I'd rather chew my foot off than do, but guess what ... we're grown ups and we have to put our big people undies on and deal with it. So yeah, I'm more than pissed at this horrible rv park, for more reasons than one. I think it's hilarious that they taped that piece of paper to my door saying I have to leave after I had informed them that they are the worst place to rent from on the planet and that they had lost business with me. Mike Marty is a yellow bellied cur and should be drug in the street and beat with a brand new rodeo rope.
However, despite my extreme anger at this horrible place, things are going wonderfully well. I called a house moving company, dreading what price they were going to quote me on moving my house well over 130 miles across Texas, and they were amazingly helpful, informative, and reasonable on price. You'll never guess the price they quoted me, so I'll just tell you ... $1,400. That includes moving it 130 miles across Texas and leveling it for me. I've praised the gods several times for that blessing, and Deborah, I'm going to thank you as well since you've been keeping me in your thoughts. I bought 4 city lots in Whiteface, where my mom lives, for $3,300, and I'll be moving my house there. Two of the lots are meant for my house, and the other two are meant for my nail salon. Blessing after blessing keeps coming my way, and I keep praising and thanking the gods for these amazing windfalls.
My little brother and a friend are coming up this weekend to help me disconnect the house from sewage, water, and electricity, and to pack, so it will be all ready to move on Tuesday when the moving company gets here. I'll leave Saturday evening and stay with Mom so I can sign all the paperwork needed for my lots and such on Monday, then Monday evening I'll come back up and stay with my friend Dana so I can finish up my last day in school on Tuesday, then it's back down to Whiteface to start the work on plumbing the lot my house will be sitting on so I can hook up my house. It seems like a whole lot of driving and a lot of work, but I'm so excited to get out of this town that the work seems like nothing. School's going a little better. I'm just so totally ready to be finished! I'm going to schedule my written exam as soon as I get my hours and just take it in Lubbock. Then when it comes time to take my practical Mom and I will drive up here to Amarillo for the test and go home afterwards. It will be at least a month or so before I can start working, and I'm looking forward to the down time. That gives me time to work on different techniques I've seen online and test a couple different products I'm interested in before swearing by them in the salon.
Things, so far, are going exactly according to plan. I'm counting my lucky stars and thanking everyone who has had me in their prayers, thoughts, energy workings, or whatever it is you beautiful darlings do. I've realized that although yes I'm having a lot of issues here in this city and I can't wait to get back to my small town America, but a lot of the stress is brought on because I haven't been centered or grounded. I've lost my connect with my Mother Earth. The energy in my home is discordant, my personal energy is twisted and obscured, and my mind is a bigger mess than 10 jigsaw puzzles thrown on the floor and mixed together. Today I made a conscious effort to center and ground myself while driving to school. It made a major difference. So, I am making a promise to myself ... I am going to wake up a little earlier the next few days so I can spend time centering and grounding myself every morning before school. In the afternoons I am going to try to scrape out some time to meditate, even if only for a few minutes. I miss meditating so much. Maybe once school is over I'll do a short segment on centering, grounding, and meditating. Maybe I'll start sharing my meditations again. We'll see on those, but I will keep you informed on the daily things I'll be doing the next few days. I love my amazing readers so much! You guys have been an amazing blessing as well.
10/24/2011
Missing That Jolly Halloween Feeling
It's October 24th, as I'm sure you well know, exactly 7 days from Halloween, and it is as hot as July here in Texas. Most of you know that Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday of the entire year, but I have to admit, I'm just not in my jolly Halloween mood this year. I'm sure the stress of school, moving, and so forth is part of it, and I dearly miss the excitement I usually feel around this time of year. I miss being excited about going to the silly haunted houses that are supposed to scare you, but are more of just a laugh instead. I miss getting excited about finding that perfect Halloween costume, decorating the house, handing out candy to the trick or treaters, and of course, the Samhain ritual.
I'm having problems at the trailer park my little house is in right now. I've had to bring my dog to my mom's so she will be safe from the jerks that run the park. Some electric company worker tried to mace her the other day and now I've been told my dog has to leave the park, even though she wasn't in the wrong. Admittedly I lost my temper. I told them some very unladylike things, and informed them that they had lost business. I will be finished with school next Tuesday, and I'm praying the gods bless me enough to find a house moving company that will be able to move my house that week, at an affordable price. I was going to be moving back down to the town my mom lives in after I finished school, just not so soon. I was going to wait and get all of my state tests for my license out of the way first ... Now it looks like I'll be scheduling the written test and taking it here, then I'll schedule my practical and just drive to Amarillo to study for it and take it.
I'm looking forward to getting out of that city. As the name of my blog implies, I am a country girl, and living in that city is wearing me thin. I feel like there is nowhere for me to get away from everything. I'm surrounded and can't find room to breathe. People have asked me before if I'd ever tried living in a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas. My response has always been: "I know I wouldn't be able to permanently survive there." Sure I could handle it on a temporary basis, and I might even enjoy it for a very short amount of time, but eventually I would miss the solitude of the country. I would miss being able to go out on my porch and look at the stars, or stepping out my back door and watching deer walk around. I'm just not built to live in the city. Yes, I get tired of small towns at times because it can be smothering having everyone and their mama knowing your business, but you sure can't beat the hospitality in a small town. Even if they know all your business, if you've fallen on hard times, everyone in a small town will offer a helping hand in one way or another.
I just keep worrying about everything. I want everything to go good with school so I can finish up and get away. I want things to go the way I want them to when it comes to finding a house moving service, and I just want everything to go right. I'm nervous and worried about everything, and to top it off, my precious dog has to stay with my mom while I finish school and get the house moved because of a bunch of crap at the rv park my house is in. I can't stand that park, but I think I've done that rant on here. I hate having to be without my dog. It's like leaving my daughter with my mom. I know she'll be fine, but I don't want to have to live without her either. Who is going to snuggle with me at night? Who is going to greet me when I get home from school? Yes I have a new puppy named Lily Munster, but its not the same. I've raised Princess since she was 6 weeks old and she's now a little over a year. It's hard to be without her. I'm just praying, everyday, that things work out smoothly. Please keep that in your prayers, thoughts, and/or energy works, if you think about it. Thanks for listening, again.
I'm having problems at the trailer park my little house is in right now. I've had to bring my dog to my mom's so she will be safe from the jerks that run the park. Some electric company worker tried to mace her the other day and now I've been told my dog has to leave the park, even though she wasn't in the wrong. Admittedly I lost my temper. I told them some very unladylike things, and informed them that they had lost business. I will be finished with school next Tuesday, and I'm praying the gods bless me enough to find a house moving company that will be able to move my house that week, at an affordable price. I was going to be moving back down to the town my mom lives in after I finished school, just not so soon. I was going to wait and get all of my state tests for my license out of the way first ... Now it looks like I'll be scheduling the written test and taking it here, then I'll schedule my practical and just drive to Amarillo to study for it and take it.
I'm looking forward to getting out of that city. As the name of my blog implies, I am a country girl, and living in that city is wearing me thin. I feel like there is nowhere for me to get away from everything. I'm surrounded and can't find room to breathe. People have asked me before if I'd ever tried living in a city bigger than Lubbock, Texas. My response has always been: "I know I wouldn't be able to permanently survive there." Sure I could handle it on a temporary basis, and I might even enjoy it for a very short amount of time, but eventually I would miss the solitude of the country. I would miss being able to go out on my porch and look at the stars, or stepping out my back door and watching deer walk around. I'm just not built to live in the city. Yes, I get tired of small towns at times because it can be smothering having everyone and their mama knowing your business, but you sure can't beat the hospitality in a small town. Even if they know all your business, if you've fallen on hard times, everyone in a small town will offer a helping hand in one way or another.
I just keep worrying about everything. I want everything to go good with school so I can finish up and get away. I want things to go the way I want them to when it comes to finding a house moving service, and I just want everything to go right. I'm nervous and worried about everything, and to top it off, my precious dog has to stay with my mom while I finish school and get the house moved because of a bunch of crap at the rv park my house is in. I can't stand that park, but I think I've done that rant on here. I hate having to be without my dog. It's like leaving my daughter with my mom. I know she'll be fine, but I don't want to have to live without her either. Who is going to snuggle with me at night? Who is going to greet me when I get home from school? Yes I have a new puppy named Lily Munster, but its not the same. I've raised Princess since she was 6 weeks old and she's now a little over a year. It's hard to be without her. I'm just praying, everyday, that things work out smoothly. Please keep that in your prayers, thoughts, and/or energy works, if you think about it. Thanks for listening, again.
10/20/2011
Giveaway Over at Mrs. B's!
Okay, again... I've been gone and busy... tonight I decided to try to catch up on everything I've missed and I ran across this awesome giveaway over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom. There's a book called The Witches Book of the Dead by Christian Day that I have my eyes on and I'm crossing my fingers hoping I might win. Hop on your broomstick and fly on over there to check out the giveaway... if you haven't already since I'm way behind on everything!
A Big Hello Plus A Major School Rant
Well guys, I've not been around as much as I wanted this month. Things at school have been hectic. Thankfully I'll be finished with school at the end of next week! I'm so ready to be out of there! I love what I do... I really enjoy being able to make people relax with wonderful massages and things like that. I really enjoy coming up with my own ideas for spa manis and pedis, but I have one teacher that just loves to make my life miserable up there. She loves to downgrade me in front of the clients. Man I wish she would just get a life and stop trying to make mine miserable. Here's an example: The other day I had a woman come in wanting a pedicure. I took her shoes and stockings off and inspected her feet to make sure there were no infections or anything like that before I allowed her to put her feet in water. There was a dark spot on her toe that looked like it was growing out just fine, but because the evil bitch teacher, named Vickie, had yelled spoken to me about inspecting feet before even getting water, I asked her if she knew about the spot on her toe.
She told me she had dropped something on it a while back and it was now growing out and not tender anymore. She also told me she'd been to a doctor for it and been cleared to have a pedicure. So now I have a reason for there being a spot on her toe. My big concern ... her feet and legs are so swollen there are indentions from her stockings and shoes. In a salon setting, if someone comes in with swelling like that you are supposed to send them away. If you massage someone's legs that are that swollen there is a chance you can cause a heart attack or stroke. I refused to have that kind of problem on my hands, so I grabbed a teacher that I knew would help me with the issue, the school's color specialist, named Mon, who is also very knowledgeable about manicures and pedicures as well. She checks out the woman's feet and legs and decides it isn't okay to go ahead with the pedicure.
Well the evil teacher, Vickie, happened to be in my section and decided to stick her big fat nose in the situation. She looks at the woman's feet and says she has a fungus just because there is a spot on the woman's toe. Although all of us try to explain to her that the woman dropped something on her toe causing a bruise (which would account for a dark spot on a toe), she continues to insist that it is fungus and then she has the nerve to say this in FRONT of the client "You can't believe the customers ... that is a fungus. She hasn't been to a doctor for it, people will lie just to be able to get a pedicure. We won't allow her back without a doctor's note." She then goes on to inform me that any dark spot on the toe black, brown, blue, green, yellow, or any other strange color is a fungus and should never be worked on. Now I would generally agree with that, but there is a major difference between a fungus and a damn bruise!
She then proceeds to talk down to me still in front of the client saying "You're about to finish and you still can't tell the difference between people you need to send away and the ones you can work on. You really need to pay attention to these things." Here's the deal ... over half of the women that walk into that school for manicures and pedicures should be turned away. When I grab a teacher (as per school policy) to inspect the issue most of them tell me to work on it, even when I know and feel that there is something wrong. There was another woman that came in with brown streaks and spots in her toenails. When I asked her if she knew where they came from she informed me that she had been to an Asian pedicurist and a few days later those spots and streaks showed up. That tells me she got an infection from their filthy instruments. So I grab a teacher the one who loves to tease us and talk crap (all in fun, not in cruelty), named Tav, to check it out, and she tells me there's nothing wrong and to work on it. I can feel from the woman's energy that there is something majorly wrong, but I've been cleared to work on the woman which means I have to do the pedicure. As a student I am not allowed to refuse a service on anyone. If I do, I face having to clock out and go home, losing valuable hours.
After the fiasco with the woman with the bruise I went to the back of the school, away from my section so I could hide from Vickie. The back of the school is Mon's section so I knew I would be safe. Mon asked me what was wrong and I told her that Vickie had just talked down to me in front of a client. Then I told her about Vickie calling the client a liar while the client was there. Vickie had also informed me that I could have worked on the woman despite the swelling if it hadn't been for the spot on her toe. Mon nearly hit the roof when she heard that. Again, we are NOT supposed to work on someone with that severe of swelling. Every time I turn around up there I have another damn contradiction to work with. Such as this: in Texas a nail technician isn't allowed to clip the cuticles on the toes because that is the toes only barrier against infection. That regulation has been around for quite a while. One of my fellow nail tech students had been clipping toe cuticles and it really bothered me. I inform Mon about that and she says she'll discuss it with the other girl.
Well, Mon was getting ready to go on vacation around the same time and it slipped her mind. So I think I'll just go to Vickie because she's such a stickler about regulations. I walk in and inform her about my concerns and she looks at me as if I've grown a second head. Her response: "I trim my cuticles at home, why wouldn't we be able to do it in the salon?" Well, I clear out my abcesses at home, but if a person comes in with an abcess on their toe I'm not going to clear it out in the salon ... that would be contaminating everything. Abcesses need to go to the doctor! Of course, I don't tell her that, I just say: "Well, it's my understanding that it is against regulation to do it in the salon." She says, "Well what does your book say about it?" My response: "I'm not sure what the book says about it, but it doesn't cover every state's regulations." She then decides to check the book and see what it says. The book says it's okay to clip the cuticles if necessary, but again it doesn't cover every state's regulations, and it also says to check with your state regulating service; however, Vickie okay's it and tells me to stay out of the other girl's business!
I ask you this ... how in the hell is a person supposed to get a good, well rounded education if every time they turn around each teacher is contradicting the other?! Mon tells us "Do not clip the toe cuticles, don't push them back with any metal implement," then Vickie tells us "Stay out of each other's business and just do things according to the text book." However, again, the text book always tells us to check with our state regulating service on certain things and Vickie doesn't even care enough to pay attention to regulations! Tav tells me to work on a woman with brown streaks and spots on her toes that are obviously some sort of infection, but Vickie yells at me for approving a bruise but turning away swelling that could cause a heart attack if massaged. I had attended a different school before I started at the one I'm at for the same thing, so I already knew most of the regulations and I constantly stay up to date with sanitation guidelines and so forth through my state regulating service, so I thankfully know right from wrong, but what about the other poor girls that go to school there? If the teachers can't be consistent with each other, exactly how is the student supposed to know what's right and what isn't?
Thankfully I'll be done next week. But since I've had such a horrible experience, I'm starting to consider opening my own school, specifically just for nail techs. Of course, I want to get some experience in the salon first. I'd be a major hypocrite if I just finished school, then turned around and decided I wanted to open a school. I need real life experience too. Anyway, that's my rant for today lol. I really do miss you guys though. Once I finish school and all my tests, I plan on taking a nice break from it all before I start working. I'll have more time to spend here in the blogosphere talking to my dear friends. I hope everyone's October is going great. I'm sad that I'm missing out on a lot of things going on. Now that I'm finished with the class work at school and I'm just collecting hours until I'm finished, maybe I'll have more time in the evenings to keep up with everything going on. Love, light, and blessings to everyone!
She told me she had dropped something on it a while back and it was now growing out and not tender anymore. She also told me she'd been to a doctor for it and been cleared to have a pedicure. So now I have a reason for there being a spot on her toe. My big concern ... her feet and legs are so swollen there are indentions from her stockings and shoes. In a salon setting, if someone comes in with swelling like that you are supposed to send them away. If you massage someone's legs that are that swollen there is a chance you can cause a heart attack or stroke. I refused to have that kind of problem on my hands, so I grabbed a teacher that I knew would help me with the issue, the school's color specialist, named Mon, who is also very knowledgeable about manicures and pedicures as well. She checks out the woman's feet and legs and decides it isn't okay to go ahead with the pedicure.
Well the evil teacher, Vickie, happened to be in my section and decided to stick her big fat nose in the situation. She looks at the woman's feet and says she has a fungus just because there is a spot on the woman's toe. Although all of us try to explain to her that the woman dropped something on her toe causing a bruise (which would account for a dark spot on a toe), she continues to insist that it is fungus and then she has the nerve to say this in FRONT of the client "You can't believe the customers ... that is a fungus. She hasn't been to a doctor for it, people will lie just to be able to get a pedicure. We won't allow her back without a doctor's note." She then goes on to inform me that any dark spot on the toe black, brown, blue, green, yellow, or any other strange color is a fungus and should never be worked on. Now I would generally agree with that, but there is a major difference between a fungus and a damn bruise!
She then proceeds to talk down to me still in front of the client saying "You're about to finish and you still can't tell the difference between people you need to send away and the ones you can work on. You really need to pay attention to these things." Here's the deal ... over half of the women that walk into that school for manicures and pedicures should be turned away. When I grab a teacher (as per school policy) to inspect the issue most of them tell me to work on it, even when I know and feel that there is something wrong. There was another woman that came in with brown streaks and spots in her toenails. When I asked her if she knew where they came from she informed me that she had been to an Asian pedicurist and a few days later those spots and streaks showed up. That tells me she got an infection from their filthy instruments. So I grab a teacher the one who loves to tease us and talk crap (all in fun, not in cruelty), named Tav, to check it out, and she tells me there's nothing wrong and to work on it. I can feel from the woman's energy that there is something majorly wrong, but I've been cleared to work on the woman which means I have to do the pedicure. As a student I am not allowed to refuse a service on anyone. If I do, I face having to clock out and go home, losing valuable hours.
After the fiasco with the woman with the bruise I went to the back of the school, away from my section so I could hide from Vickie. The back of the school is Mon's section so I knew I would be safe. Mon asked me what was wrong and I told her that Vickie had just talked down to me in front of a client. Then I told her about Vickie calling the client a liar while the client was there. Vickie had also informed me that I could have worked on the woman despite the swelling if it hadn't been for the spot on her toe. Mon nearly hit the roof when she heard that. Again, we are NOT supposed to work on someone with that severe of swelling. Every time I turn around up there I have another damn contradiction to work with. Such as this: in Texas a nail technician isn't allowed to clip the cuticles on the toes because that is the toes only barrier against infection. That regulation has been around for quite a while. One of my fellow nail tech students had been clipping toe cuticles and it really bothered me. I inform Mon about that and she says she'll discuss it with the other girl.
Well, Mon was getting ready to go on vacation around the same time and it slipped her mind. So I think I'll just go to Vickie because she's such a stickler about regulations. I walk in and inform her about my concerns and she looks at me as if I've grown a second head. Her response: "I trim my cuticles at home, why wouldn't we be able to do it in the salon?" Well, I clear out my abcesses at home, but if a person comes in with an abcess on their toe I'm not going to clear it out in the salon ... that would be contaminating everything. Abcesses need to go to the doctor! Of course, I don't tell her that, I just say: "Well, it's my understanding that it is against regulation to do it in the salon." She says, "Well what does your book say about it?" My response: "I'm not sure what the book says about it, but it doesn't cover every state's regulations." She then decides to check the book and see what it says. The book says it's okay to clip the cuticles if necessary, but again it doesn't cover every state's regulations, and it also says to check with your state regulating service; however, Vickie okay's it and tells me to stay out of the other girl's business!
I ask you this ... how in the hell is a person supposed to get a good, well rounded education if every time they turn around each teacher is contradicting the other?! Mon tells us "Do not clip the toe cuticles, don't push them back with any metal implement," then Vickie tells us "Stay out of each other's business and just do things according to the text book." However, again, the text book always tells us to check with our state regulating service on certain things and Vickie doesn't even care enough to pay attention to regulations! Tav tells me to work on a woman with brown streaks and spots on her toes that are obviously some sort of infection, but Vickie yells at me for approving a bruise but turning away swelling that could cause a heart attack if massaged. I had attended a different school before I started at the one I'm at for the same thing, so I already knew most of the regulations and I constantly stay up to date with sanitation guidelines and so forth through my state regulating service, so I thankfully know right from wrong, but what about the other poor girls that go to school there? If the teachers can't be consistent with each other, exactly how is the student supposed to know what's right and what isn't?
Thankfully I'll be done next week. But since I've had such a horrible experience, I'm starting to consider opening my own school, specifically just for nail techs. Of course, I want to get some experience in the salon first. I'd be a major hypocrite if I just finished school, then turned around and decided I wanted to open a school. I need real life experience too. Anyway, that's my rant for today lol. I really do miss you guys though. Once I finish school and all my tests, I plan on taking a nice break from it all before I start working. I'll have more time to spend here in the blogosphere talking to my dear friends. I hope everyone's October is going great. I'm sad that I'm missing out on a lot of things going on. Now that I'm finished with the class work at school and I'm just collecting hours until I'm finished, maybe I'll have more time in the evenings to keep up with everything going on. Love, light, and blessings to everyone!
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