Indigo Children And ADHD

After reading Sarita's post about ADHD I did some research of my own because I'm a dork like that lol. I came across this site that seemed pretty cool, talking about how to control ADHD without medication, etc. and found a part on the site that wanted people to tell about their "paranormal" experiences with ADHD called ADHD Gifted. So I read some of the other people's contributions and found that most of them, like me, have prophetic dreams, visions, empathy, magickal abilities, etc. So, like the dork that I am, I had to contribute as well. You can check out what I wrote here.

So after contributing, I got an email saying that my contribution was accepted and I could look at it and see if I liked it. I checked out the area it was put in and someone had already commented on the contribution. They mentioned Indigo Children and I had to see what they were talking about. It turns out there is a wide belief that children with ADHD inherit what people call an "indigo resonance" and it shows up as ADHD. There is a lot of controversy surrounding the whole Indigo Child/ADHD situation but I really liked what I read about Indigo Children.

It is believed that Indigo Children are meant to be a bridge between old and new beliefs. We are here for a purpose and often we come into life knowing we have a purpose. But it also doesn't make us any better than anyone else. We have a little extra clarity to be able to see through baloney and to be able to help people out but that's about the only difference on the outside. My research took me to a place called Namaste Cafe to an area talking about Indigo Children. I have to admit I didn't read a whole lot of it because I couldn't really force myself to read it all (in my opinion there is entirely way too much writing on there) but what I did read helped me understand a little better. Check it out here.

Because I'm a quiz addict I found a quiz that tests whether you are an Indigo Child or not and wanted to share my findings with you guys.


Your result for The Are You An Indigo Child Test...

Indigo

You scored 70 Generation and 81 The Checklist!

You were born in the right generation and scored very high on the checklist criteria.  You're almost definitely  an indigo child!  I probably don't have to tell you much about what that means, because you're driven and have a passion to do something important in this world, you're in touch with yourself and you're in touch spiritually .  You were born with purpose and will be part of global change.  I hope you like the results, many indigos seem to find solace in finally knowing why they are different from the general population and in knowing they are not completely alone.

Take The Are You An Indigo Child Test at OkCupid

I was pretty happy with the results, it's nice to know that not all people think I have a mental problem lol.

The Roommate

Well, it's official, I now have a new roommate. She's moving in as I type this. When I first met her, she seemed like a nice girl, but I've heard from some of my friends that she's not a very nice girl. Yesterday while texting, it seemed like we would get along but now I'm a little worried about it. Earlier, I went down to a friends room to pick up some movies they had borrowed and Miss K was in my room watching The Good Witch. My roommate was carrying a large white tub into the room and having some trouble so Miss K asked if she needed help. According to Miss K, my roommate looked at her, rolled her eyes, and told her no.

That to me is not very nice at all. When I was told she would be moving into my room I texted her and told her if she needed help just to let us know and Miss K and I would help her move but she never texted and she just started moving in about an hour and a half ago. I just hope that she and I can get along and not have any problems. I also need to work on the energies in the room ... Things are getting a little um, wrong. That's on the list for tomorrow. I'll keep everyone updated on things. Oh also, I'm going to my mom's this weekend! Getting a hair cut and maybe dying my hair! I'm a little excited! Also, I'll get to go to Hastings or Barnes & Noble with Mom and we'll be getting new tarot cards, so exciting!

I Wanna Go Home

I'm going to vent a little bit in this post. Lately I've been having some problems here at school. There is a guy that hangs out here in my room who I thought was pretty cool at first but the longer he hangs out the more I realize that he's not worth my time. I had an abusive father, I don't speak to the man anymore, but the damage he caused is still with me to this day. Well the guy that has been hanging out here has a weird sense of playing around. Yesterday he picked up electrical hook ups to my bluray player and hit me with them. He left marks on my arm. He also has problems with getting in my face and yelling at me. Last night I got mad at him and he couldn't figure out why I was mad at him. I tried to explain to him that he couldn't hit me with electrical cords but he just kept saying he was just playing and that I shouldn't be mad about it.

Then earlier today I was standing outside the dorms talking to a friend of mine about what had happened last night and a rock flew past my head, hit the window, bounced off the window and hit my hand. It's bruised and swollen now and after the rock hit me, the guy that was hanging out in my room came walking down the steps to the dorms. Miss K was with him and said she didn't know who threw the rock so I'm not trying to say that the guy hit me with the rock but it's weird that he was right there when it happened the day after we fought about him hitting me with electrical cords. Now all I really want to do is go home. I'm tired of all the stupid crap that goes on here. I'm hurt, I'm upset, and I'm tired. I need to heal at home.

Just A Quick Hello

I know I haven't posted in a really long time. I wanted to just say quickly I haven't given up on writing my blog, I'm just playing catch up with some of my classes because my first tests of the semester have recently started, and things have been a little crazy and hectic lately. I'm hoping that I'll have some extra free time this week to write a few more posts. Tomorrow my new roommate moves in, she seems nice so far, and I've promised her that Miss K and I will help her move. I apologize for not writing everyday like I said I would. Also, I'm sorry this post is so short but I will have more to write about later on. Does it seem to you like I'm always apologizing for my posts being too long or too short?

Magick And Confidence

Since moving to the town my university is in, I've learned so many wonderful lessons. Thankfully they have been happy, freeing lessons. The biggest lesson has been a lesson in confidence. Before transferring, I had no friends, except for my online friends and my friends that I'd gone to school with from elementary school through high school. Meeting new people was hard for me because I was painfully shy and so scared of rejection, to the point that I didn't try to meet new people, and Goddess forbid if the teacher called on me in class. Just answering questions that I knew the answers to was torture, if I wasn't staring at my desk while answering the teacher, I was staring directly at the teacher and as soon as I was finished I stared at my desk, face burning.

Now things are vastly different. After I got sick of being the way I was, I decided I needed a big time change. So, I started researching universities to transfer to. The idea was, new school, new me. So I spent a whole lot of time researching new schools. Finally I came upon the website for my current school and liked what I saw. Then I researched the town long before I scheduled a tour of the school. Then I announced to my family that I was thinking about transferring here. "Coincidentally," my grandma came upon an article in one of our favorite magazines about the town. I felt a pull toward this place that was really hard to deny.

So, in true Pagan fashion, I followed my intuition and moved four hours away from my mom and a little over seven hours away from my grandparents. The first two weeks here were rough because I didn't have a roommate and I didn't know anyone here. But, the first hall meeting we had broke the ice and I met Miss K and her roommate. Miss K and I became inseparable and I met a lot of people through her because she is a very open person and meets people very easily. As the semester moved along, my confidence grew. Walking across campus and smiling and waving at almost everyone I passed really helped.

Then, over Christmas break, I was going over some of my books on Paganism, and I realized something. I'd always wondered what was holding me back, in my mundane and magickal life. Finally I realized it was my confidence level that held me back. I had always been able to work magick and I got results, just not the big results I wanted. With a higher confidence level, I have been able to choose a path that fits me, and my magick has gotten so much better! Many young people with low self-esteem turn to the craft because it is very empowering, but until you raise your self-esteem and confidence you wont get as far in the craft as you want.

You hear a lot about the mysteries of the craft, but sometimes those mysteries are not explained and people are left wondering why they don't understand. The mysteries aren't that mysterious though. They are your personal secrets. Do you meditate differently than some of the people you've spoken to about it, or than what you've read? That's one of your mysteries. The way you perceive Deity is your mystery. One of my mysteries is this: Your confidence and self-esteem can either hinder or help your magick. Not only can having high self-esteem and confidence levels greatly improve your mundane life, it makes your magickal intent more meaningful and powerful. Now, I don't want to make this post too long and boring so I will end it here; however, I will be writing another post discussing positive affirmations, boosting positivity, and a few other things to help you raise your confidence and self-esteem.

Such A Long Day

This day has been filled with all sorts of running around. First I had class at eleven. Then I met Miss K at the fountain for lunch, during which time we received new movies from Netflix! Then Miss K and I rode with our friend Squirrel who needed to go pay for a ticket at the courthouse, then we all went to a guitar shop here in town which I was pretty excited about. I've owned two acoustics in the past and don't have either of them now. I was so happy to be surrounded by so many guitars! I want a new one so bad I can taste it!

After that, Miss K and I came back and hung out for a little bit, then Mr. J came by with a headache so I fixed him a cup of chamomile tea. After that Miss K announced that she was bored out of her mind and wanted to find some sort of craft to do. We jump in the truck and drive all over town, Miss K trying to find some sort of kit to buy that would keep her busy for a while, and me trying to find scrapbooking supplies. We drove all over town! Miss K didn't find anything that satisfied her, and the only thing I found even remotely interesting was a package of over 300 pages of card stock with different designs on them. The store wanted 30 dollars for it and I'm not even sure if I'll even use any of the paper in the package so I would much rather not get it.

We found out we'll have to drive an hour away to the nearest Walmart if we want any kind of craft supplies. We also have the option of ordering online but I'm not a big fan of ordering scrapbooking supplies online because you might get it and not like it and it's just a hassle. I would rather be able to look at it in person and touch it with my own hands to decide if I really want it or not. It is now 4:42 p.m., and we have about 15 minutes until the UC opens for supper, so I just wanted to share my day with you! Later there will be a couple more posts, I just wanted to share this one with you first.

Oh and Miss K is very excited because she purchased her first ever thing of sea monkeys! I'm not going to lie, I'm a little excited about it too! Even though I'm 22 years old, I've never had my own sea monkeys so I'm very excited to see what the little critters do. And, I've seen some local women planting flowers already so next week I plan on going over to the plant nursery in town and seeing if I can find some lavender and chamomile seeds. I want to grow lots more than that but I'm not sure what I want to grow at the moment, or what will survive in my dorm room. I have two windows in my bedroom but none in the living room area. I may be able to purchase artificial uv lights to put in my living room area but I'm sort of new to gardening and growing things so I'm not sure what all needs to be done or what all plants will need extra special care to survive here, so if you guys have any suggestions I am 100% open to them!

A New Roommate

For the first part of this semester I didn't have a roommate. I was actually hoping not to have one at all. But just a couple minutes ago, my RA (residential assistant) knocked on my door and handed me a list of names. They are consolidating rooms and all the people without roommates are having to choose one. So I've been apprehensive and probably a little closed minded about it. Miss K is constantly reminding me not to jump to conclusions. These conclusions come from last semester when I had a terrible roommate.

Last semester I had a young woman who was 17 years old, first time away from home. Now I'm 22 years old, I do not have to live on campus but I choose to because it is paid for by my grandfather. Now I don't want to say that our differences were brought on by our ages because Miss K is younger than I am and we are best friends. I really cannot tell you what made us so different. However, she was not a very clean person, she made messes and just left them there, shoved the coffee table into the entertainment center and arranged the living room so no one could walk around. On top of that, she was one of those people that would be really nice to you to your face but talk bad about you to your friends.

I grew tired of having to tell her to clean up after herself and all of that. I am not here to be someone's mom. Because of her false niceties the room was infested with negativity and I grew to be a fairly negative person. I gave up on trying to keep the negativity at bay because it was just always there and there was nothing I could do about it unless I just sat around my room and constantly expended energy to keep the room negativity free.

So because of the experience I had last semester I was really hoping if I just minded my own business and didn't remind my RA that I don't have a roommate no one would be assigned to me. But after almost a month of being back at school they have decided not to ignore all of us without roommates. I called the residential living office and spoke to them about the situation. They kind of made me feel a little better about the situation but I am still a little nervous. They assured me I probably won't have to move out of my room since I've been here since last semester. However, they are going to assign someone to me and since I don't know anyone on the list I won't get to know them until they move in. This makes me nervous because I don't know what kind of person this girl will be. I don't know if we'll even be compatible at all. But I trust in the God and Goddess and I know they will put someone in here that I can live with. So fingers crossed ... I hope she's nice and accepting ...

Sacred Space

When I first started studying the craft I read a lot about sacred space. At first it seemed so confusing. I though sacred space was a place where you went through complicated rituals to create it. Now that I've matured and I'm finding my own path I understand it a little better. The best way for me to understand sacred space is to think of the wonderful peace, love, and trust I feel in my grandparents home (which is basically where I consider my home to be). That to me is sacred space, a place where you feel perfect peace, love, and trust.

Now that I'm in school and living in the dorms far away from home, I strive to make my dorm room feel that way. That includes keeping it clean, decorating it in such a way as to make it look and feel like my home, and while cleaning, kicking negativity out. A lot of the stuff I read about sacred space mentioned keeping altars in the living room, etc., but I've never really like having an altar. So, I keep my place clean and free of negativity and it feels like sacred space to me.

Along with my physical sacred space, I do have astral sacred space. Actually, I have a couple of them. One is a sort of meditation type room that has floor pillows, candles, and lavender incense. This is where I go when I just need to calm my mind and push the negativity that accumulates in my life away from me. Another one is kind of hard to explain. Picture a white cottage with a wide front porch with white wicker rocking chairs and a natural wood door (meaning you can see the knots in the wood and everything), in the middle of a meadow surrounded by a forest. Roses climb the porch railings, and there are window boxes filled with gorgeous flowers. This is my favorite place. I go to my cottage all the time. There is always a good cup of tea waiting for me by my rocking chair, and I've spent a lot of personal time with the God and Goddess here.

The little ritual I do while maintaining my sacred space here at the dorms is very easy. Miss K and I clean, and while cleaning I mentally picture removing all of the negativity. Mentally I might ask Aphrodite to come into my living room and my bedroom and bless it with her love and passion. And just like that my sacred space is complete. Even people who don't know how to feel magickal energies can feel the difference.

Mental space is mainly a mental exercise. I picture my places and mentally cleanse them of any negativity that might be lurking there, and move right on in. Each time I visit an astral sacred space I get rid of all negativity first and then speak with Aphrodite or just spend time sitting there getting back into a positive frame of mind. And that's all there is to it! What about your sacred spaces? Do you have a combination of physical and astral sacred spaces? Do you only maintain an astral sacred space or just a physical sacred space, and what kinds of rituals/spells do you do to create and maintain them?

Heartstone

And no, I didn't spell the title wrong! I found a stone today embedded in the fountain in the middle of campus. Now instead of having a hearthstone, I have a heartstone!

Angry At Myself

So, I'm currently feeling a little down and a little angry with myself. I am my own worst enemy if you really want to know the truth. Tonight I realized I am not going to be able to handle two literature classes, especially since they are back to back in the same room but with two different teachers on the same days. So I decided to drop the earliest one. I can always retake it next semester. However, now that I've submitted the drop form, I feel a little bit like a failure. If I was just a little harder on myself when it came to doing the readings and not going to sleep so late and maybe taking my sleeping pills when my insomnia would hit, I might not have fallen behind.

Now I'm angry with myself because I fell so far behind I couldn't take the first test. I don't know if you've ever tried to take two literature classes back to back but I know I had problems with the assigned stories blending together until they just didn't make any sense to me. I would have to read one story for the class at 10 am and another story for the class at 11 am and sometimes I had more than one reading to do and they just blended together to the point where I couldn't separate them for the classes.

So now that I've dropped the class I only have one literature class, one writing class, and a psychology class that is three hours long each time we go to class. Goddess, please don't let me have made the wrong choice.

My Many Blessings From The Goddess

I don't want to make this post extremely long, but I wanted to take the time to talk about a couple of the blessings the Goddess has bestowed on me. This is actually mainly going to revolve around the Goddess blessing me with wonderful, understanding friends.

Last night, Mom and I were talking on the phone, she had called to ask Miss K some algebra questions to help out my little brother with his homework and then she talked to me for a while. We started talking about tarot cards. I currently own two decks of tarot cards, The Halloween Tarot, and Druidcraft Tarot. My mom loves my Druidcraft Tarot cards and has been trying to convince me to give them to her for a long time. This resulted in me telling her I would buy her a deck of her own. So, in true broke college student style, I log onto Amazon.com and start looking for good deals on tarot cards. I refuse to buy used cards because I don't know the people they are coming from but on Amazon sometimes you can find new unopened decks for a lot cheaper.

So, you guys need to know something about me ... I am highly addicted to tarot cards. Currently I only own two decks of tarot cards and one deck of Fairy Oracle Cards, but I have several decks on my Amazon wishlist that I am just patiently waiting to obtain. So, after I find a deck of Druidcraft Tarot cards for my mom for $13.32 new, I begin browsing all the other decks and yearning for them lol. Miss K walks in and goes "What are you doing? You're looking at your computer screen like it is your long lost lover." I explain to her my addiction to tarot cards and pull out my two decks plus my Fairy Oracle Cards. Miss K was fascinated with them which surprised me because Miss K does not believe in the tarot, she doesn't like the idea that your life is planned out. I tried explaining to her that that isn't what tarot cards are all about but the time I tried explaining that to her she was in a bad mood and not hearing anything about it. Now she understands a lot better.

So Miss K and I mess around with my cards for a while and I leave the cards out over night. The idea was I would be sleeping so who in the world would be able to mess with my cards. So I get up today at 10 am to get ready for class at 11, walk out the door at 10:50 and walk to class, leaving my cards out on my coffee table. I get to class and find out it has been canceled and have a conversation with another classmate, go to lunch, spend time with friends during lunch, then head back to my room. I walk in the door and the cards are still on the coffee table. I wasn't expecting company for a while so I started to clean my bedroom. The plan was to tidy my bedroom first, then start working on the living room.

So while I'm tidying my room, I hear a knock at the door. I didn't think anything of it, didn't consider covering the cards that are sitting out in plain sight on my coffee table in the middle of my living room. I open the door and my friend Mr. J is there. He comes over to watch tv, play video games, shoot pool, and fix my window. Mr. J didn't know that I am Pagan. I've been in his room and he has a Buddha and Shiva in his room but I didn't know if he knew what those symbols meant or if he just liked them. Well, I couldn't very well slam the door in his face just to put away the tarot cards and then let him back in, can anyone say RUDE!

So I open the door and he walks in and before he can say anything I say, "Please excuse the tarot cards, I haven't had a chance to put them away yet." I braced myself for anything bad that might happen and he excitedly says, "I want to see your tarot cards!" I was so surprised because I hadn't really known how he would respond. But, the deeper I get on my own path, the more I realize if my friends find out, then freak out, they aren't real friends and they aren't worth my time. So Mr. J now knows that I am Pagan, and as I write this, he is sitting on my bed talking to me about all kinds of randomness while he cuts his nails.

My point of this is post is that the Goddess has blessed me with friends that are open-minded and understanding. I am so thankful for the friends the Goddess has blessed me with. My wish is that everyone will be blessed with friends like mine.

Microwave Apple Crisp

So, I went to the Betty Crocker website because as I mentioned before, I wanted to find some recipes for microwavable stuff that I can make here in the dorms. I came across a recipe for Microwave Apple Crisp and I am sooooo excited to try this out! I'm having to wait until my next paycheck to get the ingredients so I cannot tell you how it is just yet but I want to share the recipe with you for today.

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 25 minutes

4 medium tart cooking apples, peeled and sliced
2/3 cup packed brown sugar
2/3 cup quick cooking or old-fashioned oats
1/2 cup Original Bisquick mix
3 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened
3/4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoons ground nutmeg

In an ungreased 2-quart microwavable casserole or 8 inch square microwavable dish, arrange apple slices. In a small bowl, stir remaining ingredients until crumbly. Sprinkle over apples.

Microwave on High for 7 to 10 minutes, rotating dish 1/2 turn after 5 minutes, until apples are tender. Serve warm. Makes 6 servings.

I'm so excited to make this! I've been missing being able to make sweet treats like this. I may start making this an every Tuesday thing because Miss K has a lab every Tuesday that runs through lunch and she doesn't get to eat ... This way when she's finished with her lab at 2 every Tuesday afternoon she'll have something yummy to test out!

Have some microwave recipes you would like to share? Email them to me ... I'm always looking for something good I can make in the dorms!

Pagan Blog Prompts: Book Of Shadows

First let me say, I sat here at my computer for hours trying to figure out what to write about. I've been having problems with insomnia so my mind is a little sluggish and I'm having a hard time keeping things straight. So, since I couldn't come up with my own idea for writing, and since I promised myself I would write at the very least one post per day, I headed over to Pagan Blog Prompts and picked out a prompt that seems easy enough for my sleep deprived brain to handle.

This prompt asks what everyone's book of shadows is. I don't really have a singular book of shadows. I have a spiral notebook that is green and has brown leaves on it that I use when I'm looking through a book about Witchcraft that I write down my feelings and ideas in but I don't really keep spells or recipes or rituals or anything like that in it, just my ideas. I used to keep a book of shadows when I started studying Wicca that was in a black fake leather journal that I bought at Walmart but I got rid of it because I found a different path that felt more natural to me.

Soon I'm planning on starting another one that will be in a binder with loose leaf pages. I plan on putting herbal information, meditations, and spells in it. I don't do a whole lot of rituals but I might start doing tiny Esbats in my room and recording my thoughts about them in the new book of shadows.

Living in the dorms at college can really test your creative abilities. Many questions pop up that you never really worry about when you live in your own place. I'm blessed because the dorms here at my school are definitely not like traditional dorm rooms. I have my own separate bedroom. Here, each dorm unit consists of two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room + fridge and microwave area. Each bedroom can be locked and the bathroom is only shared by you and your roommate. However, when it comes to reading your tarot cards, doing Esbats, keeping up with a book of shadows, and all the other things that go along with worshiping the God and Goddess or working magick, things can get a little complicated.

I like to be able to leave my book of shadows out on my bedside table and I like leaving my cards out in the open where I can get to them when I feel like using them but having a roommate often prevents that. So far this semester I have been blessed because no one has been assigned to my personal dorm unit yet. I live alone for now. Miss K is constantly here but she doesn't mind seeing my tarot cards or my books about Paganism or my book of shadows just lying around. Last semester I had a roommate that wanted me to do a tarot reading for her once a week.

Other than leaving cards and books lying around, there are certain rules that we have to abide by while living in the dorms that limit what we can and can't have in the rooms. I love candles, and I'm not allowed to have them, not even without with wick, incense is another thing I dearly love and I can't have that either. Of course those are the only things we aren't allowed to have. If I wanted to cover my room in pentacles they wouldn't say anything about it as long as they aren't nailed to the walls. So for Esbats, since I don't do rituals very often, I have to get creative in my ways of representing fire and air.

But that is another topic altogether. As my new book of shadows comes along, I will keep you updated. I'm not sure how I want to set it up just yet. I haven't decided if I just want to type the pages up on my computer, print them out, and put them in my binder, or if I want to do something like a scrapbook, or a kind of combination of the two. We'll see what happens...

Superbowl Sunday

I'm not a very big football fan. I'll go watch my friends play for our school, but I don't really understand why people want to watch a bunch of strangers beat each other up. However, as I write this, Miss K is sitting in my living room with a friend of ours, eagerly commentating and oohing and aaahing. Maybe this says something about me? Why am I sitting here working on the blog while Miss K and our friend laugh and enjoy the game? In all honesty, I'm happier to be sitting at my computer working on posts and new layouts for the blog than I am sitting in front of the television watching crazy people beat each other up over a misshapen ball.

Miss K has been running around like a weirdo all day. She's so excited about this game that she's basically vibrating with excitement. This, for her, is a way of connecting with memories of home. She is from Florida and coming to school here in Texas keeps her from being able to spend much time with her family. So for that reason, I'm excited about her excitement but definitely not about the game.

That's not the only reason I'm writing this post though. I wanted to write and say the things I would do for Superbowl Sunday if I lived in my own place rather than the dorms. I may not enjoy the football but I do enjoy Superbowl parties. If I had my own place I would probably bake some cakes, barbecue, and just have a wonderful time. Now, believe it or not, but this little Witch loves to bake! It's torture living in the dorms and not being able to make bread, cakes, pies, cookies, and all the other wonderful delights that magickally come out of the oven lol. Here we are only allowed to use a microwave and who ever heard of making cookies that taste right in the microwave?

That brings a new thought to mind. I may start trying to find microwave recipes and sharing them here. That would at least keep me entertained and keep me from getting overly bored with the University Cafeteria food. Anyway, as useless as this post has been, I just wanted to share all this with you. For all of you enjoying the Superbowl, I hope you have a great time.

New Look For The Blog

Ok, so I have decided maybe I need to change my background and template, maybe that will fix my comments problem. The only problem is, I really like my background as it is now and although I'm open to changing it, I'm not really sure where to look to find better ones. So if anyone knows of a good place to find new templates please let me know! Since my comments box isn't working just email me: silverwillow19 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Update: I redownloaded my current layout and it seems to be working now. However, now that I've been looking into finding new layouts I may end up changing it anyway. I would love to hear your comments and thoughts about the current layout and any new layouts I put up. Let me know what you think! Try the comments box and if it doesn't work you can still use my email provided above :D

Final Update (For Now LOL): I finally found a new layout that I really like. I would love to hear opinions about it. Also, you will probably notice that there are page buttons on the right hand side top of the blog that don't work. The only one that does is the home button. That part is under construction at this time because to be 100% honest with you I have no idea how to make them work. I've tried contacting the creator of the layout and hope to hear back from her soon. As soon as I figure out how to make them work I'll let you guys know. On the other side of that, if I can't figure out how to make them work I will not keep this layout. If after a couple of days I haven't heard anything from the creator I will change it back to the old layout until I can find a new one that everything works on ... I'll keep you updated with everything going on!

Help From Strangers

As I'm sure you guys know, what from the lack of lots of posts, etc., my blog is very new. I'm new to some of this and for a while, while trying to make this blog into a thing of beauty, I have reached out to many people. I've asked questions about creating my button which was answered by the lovely Mrs. B over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom and about creating the scrolling button exchange which was answered by the writer of Domestic Witch in a blog because apparently my comments aren't working lol. If you're interested in her blog about the scrolling button exchange you can read her post here. I've also asked Domestic Witch how to fix my comments area ... I'm sure these nice women will get tired of my questions along the way but I'm writing this post to let both of them know just how much I greatly appreciate their help.

In a world where you generally have to figure things out for yourself, I've been blessed to find people that I've never personally met that have really been a big help to me. My grandparents always taught me that the only stupid question is the question left unasked but there have been times in my 22 years that I've run into problems when asking questions about things I generally don't know. So, I just want to think Mrs. B and Domestic Witch for all the help they have given me! I hope they get to read this and I hope we can become good friends! Brightest blessings Mrs. B and Domestic Witch! And to everyone else who reads this post! I want to thank everyone who has been of help in making my blog happen and if I've missed someone's names I'm so sorry ... It's been a long couple of days.

So along with my heartfelt thanks to Mrs. B and Domestic Witch, I want to thank everyone who follows A College Witch's Experiences, and a big thanks goes out to my best friend here at school, Miss K (whom you'll remember from my post OMG! You're A Witch?!) for helping pick out the button for A College Witch's Experiences because if she hadn't found the picture she found I would have used one that didn't fit the feel of the blog and when she showed this one to me I knew it was perfect! So thank you to everyone who has helped and who reads this blog! Have a good day!

Finding Beauty

Recently I started reading a lovely blog called Domesticated Gypsy and the most recent post was called Women Who Find Beauty. In this post she speaks of associating herself with women who find beauty. I was inspired by this blog and wanted to post something about it.

Finding beauty is never hard, however, some people become so disenchanted with their lives that they cannot see the beauty in anything. I've been there, I know how that feels. Even the brightest, prettiest day can be ugly if you look at things with the wrong point of view. Well wait, I don't want to say "wrong" point of view because even negativity isn't wrong, it's just the opposite of positivity. So let me rephrase that and say even the prettiest day can be ugly if you look at things in a negative light.

Sometimes people become so covered up in negativity it's hard to see why anything is worth your time. Getting out of bed becomes a chore, bathing, taking care of your family, loving your family, all these things become the hardest things you could ever do. But when you change your mindset and decide to think a little more positively, finding beauty is as easy as opening your eyes and taking in your surroundings.

Now I've never lived in the city so I won't comment on trying to find beauty in the city because I have absolutely no experience with that. But I've bounced between living in town with my mom and on the ranch with my grandparents all my life so that's what I'm going to focus on. On the ranch, beauty surrounds us, even in the winter. Grandma mourns when the winter comes around because her beautiful flowers die but she always knows they'll come back in the spring whether because they rebloom (or whatever you call it ... This witch doesn't know a whole lot about gardening although I dearly wish to learn) or because she replants and reseeds. But you can look all around you, no matter what time of year it is and find something beautiful. A cardinal hanging out in the tree outside of our picture window in the kitchen, the horses coming in for feed at 4:30 every day just like clockwork, the dogs running and playing with each other, the hills that Granddad and I ride over almost everyday when I'm home covered in fog.

In town with Mom I have to admit it sometimes becomes a chore to find beauty there. The town she lives in is a little farming town and even in town if you look past our backyard you find a cotton field. There are also all kinds of pump jacks for pumping oil, and the land is absolutely flat ... It is my belief you could look towards the horizon and see forever. The land has been abused by oil field workers and there always seems to be more dirt than grass. But if you care to look you can find things of beauty. Gardens that the older women nurture and take care of each season, the birds that enjoy back and front yards filled with honeysuckle and many other plants, the clear blue sky, the sparkling night sky. My point is if a person takes joy in nature and in the beauty of Mother Nature, they will never be without beauty.

My favorite ways of finding beauty involve nature but it's easy to find beauty in people too. Sometimes that can be hard because like it or not, we do live in a world that has a lot of negativity in it, but there are many people out there that are beautiful. I'm not talking about superficial beauty, superficial beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I'm talking about a person's natural, personal, soul beauty. And yes that is spelled right, I do mean the beauty of a person's soul.

We've all met people that you instantly like because they are beautiful. A person who isn't sure what they are looking at won't  understand it but that kind of beauty isn't about what they look like or wear or anything superficial, it's all about how beautiful their soul is. These kinds of people smile a lot, always have open arms and hearts, and are always there to lend a helping hand. People with beautiful souls aren't that hard to find, just like in finding beauty in nature you just have to be open to it. That's the key to a lot of things in life, finding beauty in people and nature, finding love, finding true friends ... You have to open your heart to these things. I won't go into talking about opening your heart to things just yet because I plan on writing a blog specifically about that later, so all I will say is in order to find beauty in anything you have to open your heart to it and be willing to see it.

These are some of the ways I find beauty. How do you find beauty? What do you consider to be beauty?

OMG! You're A Witch?!

It still amazes me how people respond to the word Witch. Despite the fact that there are more and more witches living openly, there are still big time misunderstandings about witches and Witchcraft. Take for example the conversation I had with my best friend just last night. We'll call her Miss K. I've known Miss K for a while now. I met her last semester and we've been inseparable ever since then.

Last semester we had a few conversations about religion and how each of us views things. Thankfully I'm able to explain my views well enough that she completely understood my point of view. She was raised Christian just like many of us in America and still enjoys the Christian ideals. Although I understand and respect Christian ideals, it is not my religion of choice. Thankfully Miss K understands that and my religious views have never bothered her.

Last night we discussed Witchcraft in general. Although she is a very open-minded person and she understands my personal practices, she refuses to think of me as a witch. I don't mind the word Witch, I would probably be very honored if someone called me that, but mostly I consider myself a magickal person who is close with nature. These were the things I discussed with Miss K.

Last night some how we got on the subject of ghosts and the devil, and I explained my own beliefs a little more deeply. Although she knows I do not believe in the devil she still holds the misconception that all spellwork involves demon work, being in league with the devil, and other silly notions. I explained to her that most people who do magick don't even believe in the devil. Of course there are still forms of magick out there that do handle some pretty nasty things and I explained that to her as well. She knows that I don't do such things. I don't even know how those things work. I should probably read up on stuff like that because I look at that like Zsuzsanna Budapest does: you cannot heal if you cannot hex. A knowledge of hexes never hurt someone, it's when they start using it that bad things start happening.

Miss K is one of the most open-minded Christians I've ever met. She accepts me the way I am, and she even handled my books about Witchcraft last October when my parents' house burned down. Those books and a few of my classics (Shakespeare, etc.) were the only things salvageable. Coincidence? I think not. The point of all this is that even though Miss K is open-minded she still held misconceptions. Those misconceptions didn't apply to me because she's seen what I do. She basically lives with me ... By now if I was going to do something crazy weird like sacrifice a cat, she would already know. But she doesn't consider me a Witch. She looks at my beliefs as being similar to Native American beliefs, which they are, but I also work with magick. I cast spells, I use tarot cards, I have a relationship with the earth and Mother Nature. She still thinks of Witches as women riding around on brooms, dancing naked with the devil and fornicating with him.

When Miss K was young she lived in New Jersey. She related the story of the Jersey Devil, as she understood it, to me. I want to share it with you because I think it is a pretty good story. According to Miss K, there was an unwed woman who lived in the forest. She had 13 children. She threw the 13th child down her well, hoping to kill it because she couldn't raise it. Instead of dying, that child was rescued by Satan and released from the well as the Jersey Devil. The child, now the Jersey Devil, flew up from the well, splintering the part at the top that held the bucket for getting water from the well. Miss K has seen this home and the well. She says after 200 years the house is falling down, but the well is still there. She said the way the top part of the well is broken it really looks like something flew out of it and splintered it. She also states that after 200 years it could have been anything that broke the well but it still frightened her.

Of course, I don't really understand much about the Jersey Devil. I'm from Texas, born and raised, so I've never had the opportunity to hear much about it. But, to me, this story sounds like another horror story made up to make kids listen to their parents, "If you're a bad kid, the Jersey Devil will get you." I've always loved stories of superstition like this. Although they are a little bit like the original "Fairy Tales" like the original Grimm Brother's writings, they are enjoyable. My one hope though, is that one day people will understand the different sects of Witchcraft and know that not all of us are bad.

Beautiful Paintings

Recently I was searching the web for inspiration. I'm having a little bit of writers block, trying to find something to write about on here. I came across an artist's website that I just love. He does some of the most beautiful paintings. The painting to the left is one of his.

The artist's name is Howard David Johnson. He doesn't do just fairy paintings, there are some of our beloved Goddesses as well. Persephone, Athene, and many more. There are sections for Greek, Norse, and Celtic Mythology and an area called Women In Mythology. His website is definitely a place to be looked over if you like things like this. I know I fell in love with it. Check out his website: www.howarddavidjohnson.com.

My only disappointment is that he has no images of Aphrodite. I was looking for images of my patroness when I ran across this website. He does have an image he calls "Aphrodite's Child," and while it is a beautiful painting it doesn't fit my personal image of Aphrodite. Eventually I am sure I will find an image that I perceive as Aphrodite and although it may be someone else's idea of a different Goddess it will be right for me and I will share it here.

Something New: Giving Of Yourself

So I was browsing the internet like I usually do when I get the free time and I don't have prying eyes hanging over my shoulder and I came across a blog I found quite interesting. It is called Pagan Blog Prompts and you can check it out by clicking on that link. The most recent prompt, posted a week ago is called "Giving of Yourself," and talks about telling how giving of yourself might be a way to raise your spiritual level. I was inspired by this and wanted to write a little bit about it.

I was raised in two Christian households. No I did not misspell that, I meant two as in the number two. I bounce between living with my mom and step-dad and my maternal grandparents. My mom and dad are Catholic and my grandparents attend the local Cowboy Church. Mom and Dad always encouraged my Pagan studies, when Grandma found out about it she got really upset and told me that witches go to Hell and that she was worried about my eternal soul. Of course, living with Grandma and Granddad I can almost literally get away with anything other than being a Pagan. That I can accept because they mean the world to me and I am willing to hide being Pagan to keep my grandma from constantly worrying that I will be going to Hell. It's just the generation she was raised in and who am I to try to change that?

In both households we were never dirt poor but never rich either. Even though we often wore knock offs bought at Walmart, or handmade by Grandma, we always knew there were others that were worse off than we were. We were always glad for our family and we've always been close. We enjoy the simple things. Both my parents and grandparents taught me, not in words but in deeds, that giving of yourself can be a very fulfilling experience. Of course when I say giving of yourself, I mean giving of your time, food, money, friendship, whatever the situation calls for.

Grandma always taught us that if you had more than someone else and could live comfortably without making yourself do without the fundamentals then it was good to give to others. Of course she was always trying to teach me that it is not okay to give your last five dollars to someone if your stomach, your animals stomach(s), your gas tank, or your table would suffer but she was very big on helping people. "Willow," she would say, "If ever you come across someone who needs help, whether they need a shoulder to cry on, a ride to the nearest gas station, a burger to eat, or even a good smack in the face, don't hesitate to help them. There are so many ways you can help a person. A good meal and friendly face can change a person's entire life."

I've always tried to live by that. As a college student, money is always tight, but friendship is free. I used to make people work for my friendship because I had been hurt in the past and refused to be hurt again. But love comes with many faces and is not only about finding a romantic soul mate. Friendship should always be free. I know I've changed my own life by offering people a sympathetic ear and open arms. There have been a few times where I have gotten phone calls at 2 or 3 in the morning from friends asking me to pick them up from the bar or a party or sometimes, like in the case of my friend who was allergic to Sulfa drugs, from the hospital. I find it personally fulfilling, knowing I can help someone.

I enjoy having friends come over and just want to spend time in an environment where they know they are accepted and are not judged. Many times I have had friends show up with bags under their eyes and a pillow under their arm and ask if they can sleep on my floor. Apparently my room is so comfortable to them they sleep the best here, which makes me proud. Giving of myself may not literally up my spiritual level but it definitely makes me feel good and when I feel like a good person I'm a better witch.

Apologies

I cannot believe it has been so long since I last wrote on this blog. It always seems I have intentions of keeping up with certain things and it just never happens. This year I've promised myself to keep up with this blog and my website. We'll see how that goes...

I'd like to take time out and ramble on incessantly about my changing religious views and ideas, if you don't mind. I'm still no Christian and doubt I ever will be a "true Christian" even if I do go back to church for appearances sake. I'm too close to the Goddess, Aphrodite specifically, to be able to turn my back on Her. However, for some time I did become a little disillusioned with Paganism in general. For a time I grew sick of rituals, magick, and almost everything (except the Goddess) involved in Paganism. I stopped meditating, I stopped doing rituals, I stopped celebrating the Sabbats, I even stopped my Esbat rituals. I was lost and a little confused. At the time I had no idea what to do or who to turn to and then probably five months after stopping everything I realized what was wrong.

Magick doesn't have to be about rituals, magick circles, spells, tools, Sabbats, Esbats, or any of those things. Magick is about nature and how you convene with it. I had become disillusioned because I didn't want to do rituals that involved fifty million steps and needed seventy different tools. Of course now I know all that is unnecessary. In every book I've read the author always says for you to find your own way to celebrate the God and Goddess and to find your own route to magick and power. These sames books described short and long rituals that involved either lots of tools or none at all.

Childishly, I put everything aside because I didn't understand. Have you ever had times in your life where you just don't understand something so you quit trying to understand altogether? Looking back on it all now I realize that if I hadn't put it aside and stepped away from the situation I would have only become more confused. Because I set everything aside I learned a fundamental lesson. Several months later, after a full semester at a new school I realized I really missed magick. When I start missing magick I pick my tarot cards back up, I pick my books back up, and I start studying with a new eye. This time I had an epiphany.

I was reading one of my books by Silver Ravenwolf when it finally hit me, everything I've read for years now. I didn't have to follow the same ritual guidelines described in the books, I didn't have to use the same or even remotely similar techniques that any of my favorite authors used. In the book I was reading Silver has little homework exercises for people to do. One of hers involved putting away every magickal tool a person used in ritual and working solely with their hands. I kept a journal of every homework exercise she had and what I did with them. For that one I wrote "I have never used tools and when I did use tools I didn't like using them. I've always used my hands because the magick comes from the earth through me." It was then that I realized, for myself, in order to be a good witch and produce the results I intend with magick I don't need rituals, tools, magick circles, or anything else. I need to keep my connection with nature and the earth.

Now I am on a new spiritual journey. This journey doesn't involve learning all the correspondences with rituals and so on. This journey involves cultivating a deep and meaningful relationship with Mother Nature and the earth spirits. Just like the beginning of any journey I do not have things figured out. I only know that I now feel like I'm finally understanding and making the right choices. I've taken down my home altar, no longer will I have a physical altar of any kind. All of nature is an altar to me. Relationships with friends and family become my way of praising my patroness Aphrodite because through my love I show Aphrodite's love.

I still have my books. I can never bring myself to throw them out because throwing them out would be like throwing my closest friends out. But when I read in them I'm not reading them word for word, I read them in ways so as to glean personal insight from them. My meditations, although probably not what Silver Ravenwolf would expect of one of her personal students that she teaches face to face, are good for me. Sometimes they are only about five minutes long and consist of me drawing mental images that calm me and help me slow my mind. Sometimes they might last for an hour or two, if I have that kind of time on hand, and are elaborate and consist of me visiting earth spirits.

One of my favorites involves me visiting the Tree of Life, slipping inside of it and visiting with the deva whom I call Grandmother Tree (when I first had this meditation it was completely by accident. I didn't envision it, it just came to me. The deva in the tree reminded me of the tree spirit in Pocahontas when she visits the tree and a grandmotherly face comes out of the tree and talks to her). Sometimes the Tree of Life meditation lasts only a few moments, usually in those times it is when Grandmother Tree wants to tell me something very important that she wants me to think out on my own. Other times this meditation lasts for quite a while and Grandmother Tree and I sit together and have wonderful conversations.

This way of looking at things feels right to me. Before my magick felt forced, like trying to force a fire to burn with water pouring straight down on the flame. Now things feel much more natural and I get much better results. I don't feel pressured to be a certain way and perform rituals a certain way. Although I'm not sure if anyone else out there practices even remotely similar to the way I do, it is 100% me and 100% natural to me and works for me.

I didn't keep up with my blog or my website because I was personally evolving and so was my magick and my beliefs. I didn't feel like I could teach things on my website if I myself didn't even know my own personal beliefs. I didn't feel like I could keep up with my personal blog if I couldn't even keep up with my own beliefs. Now that I'm starting to figure things out for myself things will change. On the site I will try to continue with Wicca 101 teachings but I will put my own flavor and ideas into. If there is something someone finds interesting that I don't know about I will try to investigate it. As for my personal blog I am going to start keeping up with it and sharing my personal journey. Who knows, maybe someone else will find my ideas interesting and want to read about them...